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Too bad, or not too bad? There's no question
The 10 worst movies of 2000
(CNN) -- Talk about an embarrassment of riches! Some critics have gone as far as to call the year 2000 the worst year since 1930, when Hollywood went through the awkward transition from silents to talkies. So the selection for this latest dubious honor of the 10 worst films of the year ranges far and wide.
But, as usual, some stand out above the rest as films that are a complete waste of your time and movie-going dollar.
Without further ado, the smelly envelope, please.
Directed by Robert Christian. Starring John Travolta, Barry Pepper and Forest Whitaker. Rated PG-13. 117 minutes.
"Battlefield Earth" is a hideous sci-fi adventure film based on a book by L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, a controversial religious group favored by a number of Hollywood stars, one of them John Travolta. Travolta clumps around in 10-inch platforms with a head full of dreadlocks, looking like a demented Dr. Frank-N-Furter from a roadshow production of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" (1975). This ill-conceived project was Travolta's baby from start to finish. John, your baby is ugly!
Directed by Danny Boyle. Starring Leonard DiCaprio. Rated R. 119 minutes.
"The Beach" offers shark attacks, marijuana-growing thugs, wandering international hippies and a shirtless Leo DiCaprio. It's not enough, not even close. Pseudo angst and alienation among spoiled brats and professional stoners do not a story make. Those things belong in a college dorm, not on the big screen, and this rambling home movie of a film proves it once again. The plot is a mixture of "Baywatch"-meets-a-soon-to-be-canceled-daytime-soap-opera. It's very pretty, everyone has a lovely tan, but it's not worth writing home about -- or leaving home to see, either.
Directed by Tarsem Singh. Starring Jennifer Lopez, Vincent D'Onofrio and Vince Vaughn. Rated R. 107 minutes.
"The Cell" smells. Despite spellbinding visuals, breathtaking costumes, fine performances by Vince Vaughn and Vincent D'Onofrio -- not to mention a stop-the-clock perform by Jennifer Lopez's body -- this slick, sci-fi thriller is stupid. This isn't a movie, it's an S & M coffee table book. Not that's there anything wrong with that...
"Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2"
Directed by Joe Berlinger. Starring Stephen Barker Turner, Tristine Skyler, Erica Leerhsen, Kim Director and Jeffrey Donovan. Rated R. 90 minutes.
"Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2" is a follow-up to the original "Blair Witch Project" (1999), one of most overblown, overly hyped films of the past decade. This sequel is completely different while still managing to be just as rotten as the first.
Directed by Eric Blakeney. Starring Sandra Bullock, Liam Neeson and Oliver Platt. Rated R. 101 minutes.
"Gun Shy" is the worse comedy Sandra Bullock has ever starred in, and that's saying something, as she's made some clinkers that have been laugh free. This time, Liam Neeson and Oliver Platt share her shame. This film is reminiscent of the really bad movies made by Chevy Chase back in the 1980s. No, wait, it's worse. One incoherent situation after another, with a cast of interchangeable characters, pile up in scene after scene until you can't tell the good guys from the bad and you don't care.
"The Next Best Thing"
Directed by John Schlesinger. Starring Madonna and Rupert Everett. Rated PG-13. 108 minutes.
"The Next Best Thing" stars Rupert Everett as a gay man who has a child with his best friend Abbie, played by real-life pal Madonna. This stunt casting isn't enough to save this dismal film. Through sheer willpower, Madonna has turned herself into an international star despite that fact that she can barely sing, can't dance and certainly cannot act. This film tries to be both a heartwarming drama and a light comedy; it's neither.
"Mission To Mars"
Directed by Brian De Palma. Starring Gary Sinise, Tim Robbins, Don Cheadle and Connie Nielsen. Rated PG. 113 minutes.
"Mission To Mars" is one trip you don't want to take. To describe this total waste of film as just another run-of-the-mill bad movie would be an injustice to bad movies everywhere. What were good actors such as Don Cheadle, Tim Robbins and Gary Sinise thinking? These men must have huge mortgages to pay. What director Brian De Palma was thinking is anybody's guess. The "Buck Rogers" movie serials from the 1930s had more plot, pacing and suspense.
"Autumn In New York"
Directed by Joan Chen. Starring Richard Gere and Winona Ryder. Rated PG-13. 103 minutes.
"Autumn In New York" is basically a remake of "Love Story" (1970), but instead of Ryan O' Neal and Ali MacGraw, this one features real actors. Richard Gere and Winona Ryder have taken on the odious task of trying to take this three-hanky weeper and make it into watchable film. No such luck. Gere and Ryder light up the screen, but there isn't a bit of heat between them. Tom Hanks has a better relationship with a volleyball in "Cast Away."
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Starring Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson and Robin Wright. Rated PG-13. 106 minutes.
"Unbreakable" is the follow-up to writer/director M. Night Shyamalan's wildly successful debut "The Sixth Sense." As such, there were a lot of expectations, fair and unfair, riding on this film. It failed, big time. The film is slow and ponderous, for one thing, but to make up for that, it's also dark and tedious. Once again Bruce Willis stars, this time as someone who may be "unbreakable," but this time there was no critical or public payoff.
"Dr. T and the Women"
Directed by Robert Altman. Starring Richard Gere, Helen Hunt, Kate Hudson, Laura Dern, Farrah Fawcett and Tara Reid. Rated R. 122 minutes.
Richard Gere now has the dubious honor of appearing in two of the worst films of the year. This film boils down to a bunch of characters in search of a plot. A bunch of Texas socialites, with more money than brains, go to the same gynecologist, played by Gere. The crazy situations are played out by the wild and wacky characters, including Gere's spaced-out wife (played by Farrah Fawcett). It's unclear whether she's dazed and confused due to her character, or whether she thinks she's made a fuzzy return to "The Late Show With David Letterman."
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