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And the IPpy goes to ...

(CNN) -- The excitement is building here in Hollywood, where everyone is waiting breathlessly to hear who wins the IPpys.

That's right, the IPpy -- as in "I.P." for "Inside Politics.''

It's a handsome award, given for outstanding performances in the political arena.

So take your seats, ladies and gentlemen -- limousine liberals on the left, country club conservatives on the right -- as the curtain goes up and the show goes on.

Best Actress -- Jane Swift

That would go to the acting governor of Massachusetts, Jane Swift, for her tragic performance.

Nominees: Janet Reno Hillary Clinton Jane Swift Laura Miller View Your Picks

Best Actor -- Donald Rumsfeld

The IPpy goes to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, in the tough guy role of a lifetime. "He is important. We're after him. We intend to find him. I believe we will. But we haven't," Rumsfeld said in December. A reporter went on to ask the defense secretary what he would do if Osama bin Laden "turns up somewhere thumbing his nose at you?'' "We will go see about that thumb," Rumsfeld responded.

Nominees: President Bush Donald Rumsfeld Rudy Giuliani Tom Daschle View Your Picks

Best Supporting Actress -- Nancy Pelosi

The IPpy goes to newly elected House Democratic whip Nancy Pelosi. Pelosi supported any fellow Democrat who supported her. And we mean any. "Last March, I endorsed Gary Condit when I endorsed all the members of the California Democratic delegation," Pelosi said last month.

Nominees: Condoleezza Rice Shirley Franklin Nancy Pelosi Barbara Boxer View Your Picks

Best Supporting Actor -- Rudy Giuliani

Who else but Rudy Giuliani, whose support was crucial for getting Michael Bloomberg elected mayor of New York and Bill Simon nominated for governor of California. "Thank you Rudy, God bless you," Simon said at his victory celebration. Giuliani also supported Bret Schundler for governor of New Jersey and Mark Earley for governor of Virginia. But every actor's entitled to a few flops.

Nominees: Edward Kennedy Rudy Giuliani Tony Blair John Breaux View Your Picks

Best Special Effects -- Jim Jeffords

With one incantation, Jim Jeffords changed the United States Senate from Republican to Democratic. The IPpy for best screenplay based on material previously produced: How about this ad run by Michael Bloomberg, using the words of his opponent, Mark Green? "I actually believe that if, God forbid, I had been mayor during such a calamity, I would have done as well or better than Rudy Giuliani," Green said.

Nominees: Jim Jeffords Jeffrey Skilling Bill Simon Enron executives View Your Picks

Achievement in Directing -- Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney did a pretty good job behind the scenes. "The vice president remains at a secure location where he is fully and completely informed of all events and is participating," said White House Spokesman Ari Fleischer.

Nominees: Tommy Franks Dick Cheney Hamid Karzai Colin Powell View Your Picks

Achievement in cinematography:

This made-for-camera moment of President Bush hugging Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle at the State of the Union speech certainly deserves an Ippy.

Best makeup:

Al Gore as the Werewolf! Gotta love the beard!

And best screenplay based on no source at all?:

The IPpy goes to California Gov. Gray Davis.

"We believe that there is a credible threat, that an effort will be made between November and December to destroy bridges," said Gov. Davis.

Best song:

September 11, 2001. The stirring rendition of "God Bless America'' on the steps of the United States Capitol, by members of the United States Congress.

And finally, the IPpy for best picture:

That award goes to a memorable, unscripted performance by President George Bush, on the day he visited Ground Zero -- September 14, 2001. It was a moment that transformed Mr. Bush. And removed all doubt that he is truly president of the United States. We hear they're planning to give out some other awards in Los Angeles on Sunday night ... something called the Academy Awards®? But when it comes to drama and inspiration, nothing Hollywood has done can come close to matching the real political world.