The art of phone etiquette
By Nick Easen for CNN
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Friedman (right): "There's very little value in getting angry over the telephone."
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(CNN) -- Even though technology has taken us a long way beyond the humble telephone, it is still one of the most trusted and well-used methods of communication at work.
It is also still the case that office-bound phone banter with clients, suppliers or colleagues can make or break work relationships.
No one realizes this more than Nancy Friedman, a customer service guru who has turned phone conversation into a science.
Her basic principle for any business phone interaction is -- positivism.
"Do not start a conversation with negative information. You won't go anywhere with it," Friedman said.
"There's very little value in getting angry at anybody over the telephone, it is too easy to hang up."
United Airlines, Microsoft, Procter & Gamble and Toyota have all used her services, according to the company's Web site -- telephonedoctor.com.
Friedman started Telephone Doctor back in 1982 after experiencing poor service over the phone from an insurance company, in the end the agent asked her to train his staff.
She believes that that using "buffer banter" is essential in dampening down any bad news on the phone.
"You need to start out with something positive like: 'I am having a wonderful time here, the weather is great. Unfortunately ...' and then go into your negative," says Friedman.
"You set the tone of the conversation in a positive mode, and that is really what counts."
"Words like -- 'you did a bad job and you always do that' -- they tell you in therapy that 'you' is a very destructive word unless it is used in a positive way," adds Friedman.
"'You did a great job' is great. 'You lost the order' is bad. 'We' as a company is a much more consultative word."
One of her top commandments for phone etiquette is: Never leave bad news on an answering machine or voicemail.
"How would you like it if your veterinarian called and left the following message on your answer machine -- 'Sir, do you remember your dog, Poopsy, I hope you have a picture of her, she's dead,'" explains Friedman.
Recently she has moved into helping corporate employees resolve office-based conflicts using the B.I.F. approach.
Employees are asked to first describe the behavior (B), then its impact (I) on their job or performance, and next tell the person how they feel (F) in order to resolve the problem.
