Review: 'Dukes of Hazzard' is roadkill
Cheesecake, car chases and idiocy
By Paul Clinton
Burt Reynolds, as Boss Hogg, crows over the incarceration of Bo and Luke Duke (Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville).
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(CNN) -- "The Dukes of Hazzard" is a prime example of a sad Hollywood habit: taking a popular -- but rather dumb -- TV show and turning it into a totally stupid and meaningless film.
This flick is a car wreck with boobs.
Now, let me just say, if your idea of a good film is a nearly naked Jessica Simpson and completely over-the-top chase scenes, then this movie is for you.
If, however, you're not a teenage boy with raging hormones -- and you like films with an actual plot (instead of walking and talking clichés) -- this movie may put you into a coma. The storyline is so dumb and predictable it wouldn't have even made the grade for an episode of the original TV series.
Taking over the roles made famous by Tom Wopat and John Schneider are Sean William Scott as Bo Duke and Johnny Knoxville as his cousin Luke. Jessica Simpson plays the role of another cousin, Daisy Duke, a woman who apparently thinks clothing is optional.
Rounding out this southern-fried family is Willie Nelson as Uncle Jesse, the mastermind behind the Dukes' main source of income -- moonshine.
And Burt Reynolds, proving that his career has rapidly slid downhill, plays the one-dimensional role of the evil and corrupt county commissioner Boss Hogg.
Living for cars and girls
The plot in a nutshell -- which is where it belongs -- is that Hogg has hatched a scheme to defraud the Dukes and their neighbors of their property in order to strip-mine the land for coal.
Adding to the "fun" is an annual car race that Bo has won for the last four years driving his infamous 1969 Dodge Charger, the General Lee.
That's about it in terms of a storyline. The rest of the film consists of the boys chasing women and being chased by dozens of police cars throughout the state of Georgia as the Dukes try to stop Hogg from ruining Hazzard County
Scott and Knoxville try their best to infuse this flick with a semblance of comedy. But "The Dukes of Hazzard" is totally free of any creativity. It's nothing more than a bunch of cars flying through space and some well-endowed farm girls. Simpson -- in her feature film debut -- is basically reduced to a sexual punch line.
Jessica Simpson plays Daisy Duke and Willie Nelson is Uncle Jesse.
Screenwriter John O'Brien -- who also penned another TV show, "Starsky & Hutch," into a lousy film -- has created a movie full of bad punch lines and insulting stereotypes about people who live in the rural South.
Director Jay Chandrasekhar -- who created the low-budget indie hit "Super Troopers" -- is basically just directing traffic as the movie stumbles from one lame scene to another.
The film's only redeeming feature is the end credits, which show extremely funny outtakes from the movie. Unfortunately, they come about 103 minutes into the 106-minute film.
Hollywood's trade papers are full of stories about the low box office numbers for this summer's movies. If you're looking for an answer as to why this is the case, look no further than "The Dukes of Hazzard."
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