Taking the kids: Sightseeing in unfamiliar turf

(Tribune Media Services) -- Chocolate croissants.

Not the Eiffel Tower. Not the Mona Lisa. Not Notre-Dame. Ask my daughter Reggie what she remembers most about visiting Paris when she was 12, and she conjures up memories of the fresh-baked pain au chocolat she got for breakfast near the apartment we rented.

My son, Matt, now 23, still talks about the bullets he bought from an old codger selling military memorabilia on Portobello Road and how much fun he had chasing the pigeons in London's Hyde Park when he was nine. His prized souvenir probably wouldn't get through security these days.

My daughter Melanie, meanwhile, remembers thinking the Vatican was "cool" because it was a separate country when she visited at age 10, but she was totally bored by Italian art and by Pompei. "What do you expect," my worldly 16-year-old says now, "I was just a kid!"

That's the thing about traveling with kids, whether in a city close to home, a national park or across the ocean -- there's no telling what they'll remember or what will pique their interest or bore them to tears.

A child falling out of a bunk bed was the high point of a trip we made to New Mexico. During a thunderstorm in Grand Teton National Park, my kids remember the night the electricity went out in our cabin more than seeing Old Faithful the next day at Yellowstone. They don't recall touring Mount Rushmore, but have vivid memories of their dad getting a speeding ticket in South Dakota. And they reminisce more about their poor, carsick little sister on a dreadful road trip to Washington, D.C., than anything we saw once we got there.

I've been thinking about those memories, as I prepare to take my 13-year-old niece, Erica, on Disney's first cruise in Europe later this summer. It will be her first trip to Europe and my Bat Mitzvah gift to her. Will the Sistine Chapel awe her? Will she be enthralled by Gaudi's unfinished cathedral in Barcelona? Charmed by Provence? Or will she remember the topless bathers on Italian beaches or not like the food. Your guess is as good as mine.

I just want her to have a good time. That's why I've been gathering advice from other experts.

"Choose your sights judiciously," suggests Amie O'Shaughnessy, whose company, Ciao Bambino, www.ciaobambino.com, arranges family trips to Italy. No way will you see everything or likely half of what you hope to see. And if you don't want a couple of whining kids on hand, plan as much unstructured time as you can.

"That's the best part," believes Philadelphia pediatrician Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, author of the American Academy of Pediatrics' book "Building Resilience in Children and Teens." He's traveled widely with his 11-year-old twins. "Go sit in a park or a cafe," he urges. "Let the kids absorb what's around them. That's true whether you're visiting a city abroad or a part of the country different from what they're accustomed to. New Mexico, for example, looks a lot different than New England.

Culture is not just in a museum. The Ginsburgs brought a soccer ball and art supplies to parks in Italy -- instantly attracting local youngsters. "Kids don't have to speak the language," he observes. "They naturally gravitate toward one another."

Such experiences teach American children valuable lessons, he adds. They appreciate what it's like not to be able to speak the language and are more empathetic when encountering foreigners at home. Just as important, when touring unfamiliar turf, "You model flexibility," he explains. "If Plan A doesn't work, you move onto plan B and you'll get through it as a family. It's a metaphor for life."

But sightseeing with kids should be fun, not a survival contest. And it can be, believes Arlene Hartman, the mother of three well-traveled young daughters. Her secret: "We read up on the places we will visit and involve the kids in the planning," said the Olympia, Washington, mom. "If they're well informed about where we go and what we can see and do in a new place, they are eager to explore."

When the family went to Maine, the girls wanted to go out on a lobster boat: In Boston, they -- not their parents -- insisted on walking the Freedom Trail. In Italy, they wanted to see works by the Italian artists they'd learned about in school.

"Of course, mixing in lots of play time is a must!" So is plenty of ice cream.

It helps if the kids are rested, too, says Northern California mom Kim Barsi. "Do the more aggressive outings in the morning when the kids are fresh," she suggests. "And try to tell interesting stories that bring the significance down to their level."

Guidebook author Pauline Frommer (Her excellent new series "Spend Less See More" includes guides to Italy and New York City) traveled widely as a child, going along as her father, Arthur Frommer, researched his books. Now she brings her two young daughters. "I have my daughters do races in museums with paper and pencil for who can spot the most babies, the most birds, the use of the color purple..." she says.

If you can spring for a guide or a tour here or abroad, search for one that offers special activities for children. Valentina Grossi, for example, a mom of two young kids who runs the Italian tour company One Step Closer (www.onestepcloser.net), will arrange for a gelato- or pizza-making lesson, as well as museum visits. Tour companies like Abercrombie & Kent (www.abercrombiekent.com) and Tauck Tours (http://family-travel.tauck.com/) offer guided trips designed with kids in mind. Even Disney (www.AdventuresByDisney.com) has begun to offer such trips abroad. Many national parks offer special hikes and ranger programs for families, as well.

And remember, it doesn't matter if the kids have ice cream three times a day. It's vacation!

(For more Taking the Kids, visit www.takingthekids.com, where Eileen Ogintz welcomes your questions and comments.) E-mail to a friend

(For more Taking the Kids, visit www.takingthekids.com, where Eileen Ogintz welcomes your questions and comments.)

Copyright 2007 EILEEN OGINTZ, DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

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