Life of a military boy: 'My heart kind of dropped'

FRESNO, California (CNN) -- Jordan has moved 10 times in the last three years, but his most unsettling news came when his mother recently sat him down and asked, "How would you feel about your dad going to Iraq?"

"My heart kind of dropped. I was like, 'Wow,'" the 15-year-old boy told CNN.

His stepfather, Marine Gunnery Sgt. Lester Williams, 35, is preparing for his first deployment to Iraq and told his stepson that he needs to be strong over the next year.

"He said he's going to be gone and he wants me to watch over my mom and my sister," the boy said softly, with a broad smile. "I think I can do it. I should be able to."

Jordan, whose family asked that his last name be withheld, tries not to think about that day in August when his stepdad leaves for at least eight months. But he concedes it's on his mind "most of the time."

Sometimes, his mind drifts to the unthinkable, the possibility of losing the man he loves so much and who has helped raise him since he was 2. Watch Jordan describe "I don't want him" to go »

"I worry about my dad's well-being and how he could be hurt or something in Iraq, and I'm just hoping that he's OK when he's there," he said. "I feel that he will be able to take care of himself, and we should be good at home."

Jordan is one of an estimated 155,000 children with parents deployed overseas or about to deploy, according to the National Military Family Association, a nonprofit organization that brings together families of military veterans.

According to the Pentagon, just over 113,000 of the 263,000 military members deployed in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are parents. Of those, more than 16,000 are single parents.

Children whose parents are deployed have needs that vary widely, but experts say many begin experiencing behavioral problems, have trouble sleeping and become depressed while their parents are away.

"The kids are going through a lot of challenges," said Patty Barron, the youth initiatives director for the National Military Family Association. "We're in our fifth year of war. Many of the same children are experiencing deployment over and over again. At every stage that they experience a deployment, they're at a different age, which means they have different needs."

She said schools and teachers often have trouble picking up such signs. Many times, she said, "I don't think civilian communities understand they have these military children in their communities."

Barron spoke to CNN at Operation Purple camp, a summer program established by her organization solely for military children whose parents are fighting the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq or about to be deployed there. See photos of kids searching for frogs, splashing in water »

Jordan and his 9-year-old sister were attending camp with nearly 90 others. This camp is located in the Sierra Nevada Mountains near Fresno, California, along a picturesque lake and serene setting.

Children darted about jumping into the lake and shouting with glee. Others shot bows and arrows and did the things most kids do at summer camps.

That's not something that always comes naturally to these children who deal every day with the realities of war.

"I think that the kids are having a really tough time, but they don't know how to share that," Barron said. "They don't want to rock that boat at home. They don't want to give that burden to the mom or dad who's left behind. So they hold an awful lot of things in. And also developmentally, they don't exactly know how to share it."

Barron's group is helping organize 100 weeks of camps in 62 locations in 37 states this summer, serving 10,000 children. The cost of the camps is paid by the Sierra Club and the Michael and Susan Dell Foundation. Watch how camp allows kids to open up »

The camps bring together military children "so they can find out that they are not experiencing deployment by themselves," Barron said.

"The littlest things will allow them to start talking about what's going on," she said. "Just getting in touch with those emotions that they really have stuffed inside of them is really, really important because it gives them an outlet, even for a little bit of time, to talk about what's bothering them."

As she spoke, a young child did a cannonball into the lake behind her.

Each camp has mental health counselors and a curriculum to help children better cope with deployment, Barron said. Chiefly, she said, they stress that "kids serve too" along with their parents.

Jordan said he found the camp tremendously helpful.

"It's really important because you're here to have fun and just relax with other people who understand what you're going through."

Jordan's stepfather -- whom the boy simply calls Dad -- admits the subject of his deployment is a difficult one to bring up around the house. It's just too hard at times and "you touch on it lightly."

"It's kind of hard to explain," he told CNN by phone from his home in Temecula, California. "There are hard areas to cover and you really don't want to talk about it."

There are everyday things like teaching Jordan how to cut the lawn and other chores -- all of which bring home the realities of the upcoming deployment. Williams won't be around for the boy's basketball games and other significant moments of his sophomore year.

"I think about it everyday," he said.

Williams will leave inspirational messages on the fridge and on Jordan's mirror in his room, so the young teen will know he's not alone during "hard times." Williams has deployed overseas before, but not into a war zone.

Every time he deploys, Williams talks to Jordan and tells him "he's taking a step of being a man in the house."

This July Fourth weekend, friends and family will gather at the home for a party to help send the 16-year Marine veteran off.

What will Jordan tell him?

"I'll tell him that I love him and hope he's safe," the teen said.

In the meantime, he said he'll "try to just have fun while he's here and hang out with him and do things with him."

CNN's Gregg Canes and Traci Tamura contributed to this report.

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