Cookie consent

We use cookies to improve your experience on this website. By continuing to browse our site you agree to our use of cookies. Tell me more | Cookie preferences

Queen of the one-liners: Late comic Phyllis Diller's funniest gags

Updated 1646 GMT (2346 HKT) August 21, 2012

Phyllis Diller, who died this week, made an artform out of wisecracking. She was prolific, self-deprecating and slyly radical: Her jokes tended to focus on her failings as a housewife, her lack of sex appeal, and the shortcomings of an imaginary husband and overweight mother-in-law.
Queen of the one-liners: Late comic Phyllis Diller's funniest gags 9 photos
Phyllis Diller, who died this week, made an artform out of wisecracking. She was prolific, self-deprecating and slyly radical: Her jokes tended to focus on her failings as a housewife, her lack of sex appeal, and the shortcomings of an imaginary husband and overweight mother-in-law.
Hide Caption
1 of 9
Phyllis Diller on housework: "The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron."
Queen of the one-liners: Late comic Phyllis Diller's funniest gags 9 photos
Phyllis Diller on housework: "The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron."
Hide Caption
2 of 9
On sex: "I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away."
Queen of the one-liners: Late comic Phyllis Diller's funniest gags 9 photos
On sex: "I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away."
Hide Caption
3 of 9
On her looks: "I was so ugly. I don't know how to tell ya: I wore a choke chain until I was 12. My own ouija board told me to go to hell. A peeping tom threw up on my window sill."
Queen of the one-liners: Late comic Phyllis Diller's funniest gags 9 photos
On her looks: "I was so ugly. I don't know how to tell ya: I wore a choke chain until I was 12. My own ouija board told me to go to hell. A peeping tom threw up on my window sill."
Hide Caption
4 of 9
On New Yorkers: "Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
Queen of the one-liners: Late comic Phyllis Diller's funniest gags 9 photos
On New Yorkers: "Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
Hide Caption
5 of 9
On kids: "We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."
Queen of the one-liners: Late comic Phyllis Diller's funniest gags 9 photos
On kids: "We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."
Hide Caption
6 of 9
On old age: "You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type. Someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot."
Queen of the one-liners: Late comic Phyllis Diller's funniest gags 9 photos
On old age: "You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type. Someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot."
Hide Caption
7 of 9
On old age: "Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."
Queen of the one-liners: Late comic Phyllis Diller's funniest gags 9 photos
On old age: "Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."
Hide Caption
8 of 9
On providing for your kids: "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."
Queen of the one-liners: Late comic Phyllis Diller's funniest gags 9 photos
On providing for your kids: "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."
Hide Caption
9 of 9