Skip to main content
Part of complete coverage from

Rihanna making a bad decision?

By LZ Granderson, CNN Contributor
December 5, 2012 -- Updated 1500 GMT (2300 HKT)
LZ Granderson says Rihanna's flaunting of her apparent reconnection with Chris Brown is a harmful message.
LZ Granderson says Rihanna's flaunting of her apparent reconnection with Chris Brown is a harmful message.
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
  • LZ Granderson: Rihanna seems reunited with Chris Brown, who beat her in 2009
  • He says pair flaunts their intimacy on social media; Rihanna sending poor message
  • He says most women who report abuse have been victimized before by same man
  • LZ: It's her choice, she needn't apologize, but may not be able to count on fans' sympathy

Editor's note: LZ Granderson, who writes a weekly column for CNN.com, was named journalist of the year by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association and is a 2011 Online Journalism Award finalist for commentary. He is a senior writer and columnist for ESPN the Magazine and ESPN.com. Follow him on Twitter: @locs_n_laughs

(CNN) -- Recently it has seemed that every other tweet or Instagram posted by pop star Rihanna taunts the public with an uncomfortable thought: Singer Chris Brown, the man who beat her so badly in 2009 that was she was almost unrecognizable, may once again be her lover.

Rumors the two had reconnected began circulating not long after their infamous altercation, which ultimately resulted in Brown pleading guilty to felony assault. Then earlier this year there was the remix to Rihanna's song "Birthday Cake," in which Brown was the featured guest vocalist offering such coy nuggets as:

"Girl I wanna --- you right now

LZ Granderson
LZ Granderson

Been a long time I've been missing your body".

OK, maybe "coy" is the wrong word.

In any case, the couple's allusions to their reunion --a Twitter picture showed her embracing a man who appears to be Brown; another showed a man presumed to be Brown face down and shirtless on a bed -- culminated with Brown posting a photo of himself and Rihanna, who appears to be in her underwear. "What would music today sound like if these kids didn't exist?" the caption read.

Entertainment: Chris Brown ready to start a 'new chapter'

Become a fan of CNNOpinion
Stay up to date on the latest opinion, analysis and conversations through social media. Join us at Facebook/CNNOpinion and follow us @CNNOpinion on Twitter. We welcome your ideas and comments.



Normally I don't like to get too involved in grown folks' private business. But when you use social media to shove your business down the public's throat, it's no longer private.

Rihanna doesn't need to be a spokeswoman for victims of domestic violence, nor does she need to live the rest of her life as a victim. But someone needs to send her a copy of "What's Love Got To Do With It," or something, because she's sending a message that everything is fine and that the man who beat her is "a good man." Maybe so, but 77% of women her age who report domestic violence have been victimized previously by the same man, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics.

This fall, some Upstate New York high school students dressed up as Rihanna and Brown and reenacted their fight in a school skit for fun. When one treats serious matters like this so lightly, does one inadvertently gives permission for others to do the same?

Rihanna 'felt protective' of Chris Brown
School under fire for blackface bit
Chris Brown's new tattoo called 'creepy'

When the world first saw the images of Rihanna's face after her fight with Brown, many rushed to blanket the songstress with support. The way she is flaunting their relationship now, I don't anticipate the same amount of sympathy for her if another incident occurs.

Perhaps that's why she (preemptively?) called her latest CD, "Unapologetic." She likely knew she would hear a lot of criticism and I guess she wanted us to know she doesn't need our sympathy.

Famed hip-hop author dream hampton recently tweeted that "Rihanna's a dissertation, waiting to be written."

She's right.

Entertainment: Chris Brown renews 'friendship' with Rihanna

At 24 with 12 No. 1 singles and five Grammys, the singer is already an all-time great in terms of chart performance and sales. She's far more complex away from the mic, often seeming to reveal herself in the 140 characters she uses in her tweets... with the exception of one song.

Her biggest seller to date, 2010's "Love the Way You Lie," is a duo with Eminem. The song is about a physically abusive, love-hate relationship.

As Eminem, who has had his own very public dealings with domestic violence, raps:

"You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 'em"

Rihanna hauntingly sings:

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts..."

After that recording, I thought Rihanna had gotten Brown out of her system. I guess love, no matter how poisonous it appears on the outside, is a hard drug to recover from.

Since completing a 52-week domestic violence program, Brown has shown about as much control over his temper as Bruce Banner.

After his 2011 interview with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America -- in which he said his attacking Rihanna is "not really a big deal to me now" -- he reportedly went to his dressing room and trashed the place in anger. Allegedly, he smashed a window that sent glass falling into the street below, before storming out of the building, shirtless, in 40-degree weather.

More than once he's lost his temper and turned to Twitter to tell critics to "--- off," or in the case of comedienne Jenny Johnson, wrote he'd defecate on her face. And then there's the bar fight with singer-rapper Drake.

Again, this is a year after anger management.

Oh, I can hear Brown fans now -- leave him alone. He did his time. Stop hating.

Entertainment: Chris Brown's creepy new tattoo 'not Rihanna'

Listen.

I grew up with domestic violence all around me -- from close family to friends -- and I tend to believe if a guy hits a woman once, she needn't stick around to see if his apologies are sincere.

But it's Rihanna's choice, and apparently she's not interested in apologizing for the decisions she's made. And if there's a repeat of 2009, a lot of us won't be interested enough to care. After "Birthday Cake" I'm not sure if I would care.

Hopefully that incident was a one-time thing and she'll be alright.

Hopefully.

Follow @CNNOpinion on Twitter

Join us at Facebook/CNNOpinion

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of LZ Granderson.

ADVERTISEMENT
Part of complete coverage on
May 19, 2013 -- Updated 1345 GMT (2145 HKT)
Bob Greene on how 18th century Americans tried to make sense of the day with no sun
May 18, 2013 -- Updated 0057 GMT (0857 HKT)
With guest Rep. Keith Ellison, John Avlon, Margaret Hoover and Dean Obeidallah discuss the president's scandal trifecta, hope for immigration and what Jolie's revelation means for women.
May 17, 2013 -- Updated 1709 GMT (0109 HKT)
The press has turned on President Obama with a vengeance, writes Howard Kurtz
May 18, 2013 -- Updated 1801 GMT (0201 HKT)
Donna Brazile says our democracy is endangered, not by the Russians, North Korea, Iran or even terrorists. To quote Pogo: "We have met the enemy and he is us."
May 18, 2013 -- Updated 1759 GMT (0159 HKT)
Photographer Arne Svenson defends his show "Neighbors," portraits of the occupants of a building near him taken through their windows.
May 17, 2013 -- Updated 2057 GMT (0457 HKT)
Theater critic Kevin Williamson was kicked out of a play when he took the phone away from an audience member and threw it. He says it was worth it.
May 18, 2013 -- Updated 1425 GMT (2225 HKT)
U.S. actor Angelina Jolie (L) holds daughter Zahara as husband and actor Brad Pitt (C) carries son Maddox during a stroll on the seafront promenade at the historic Gateway of India outside their hotel in Mumbai on November 12, 2006.
Gil Welch says women must not panic over Angelina Jolie's mastectomies: 99% of women don't carry the BRCA1 gene.
May 18, 2013 -- Updated 0852 GMT (1652 HKT)
JR's "Inside Out" project brings public spaces alive with giant representations of people
May 17, 2013 -- Updated 1922 GMT (0322 HKT)
Roger Colinvaux says the IRS scandal is fundamentally about disclosure of donors, not tax-exempt status.
May 17, 2013 -- Updated 1149 GMT (1949 HKT)
Alex Castellanos says Chris Matthews is wrong; the Washington controversies result from a government that is too big to control
May 17, 2013 -- Updated 1556 GMT (2356 HKT)
Mike Downey says Los Angeles has well-funded but clueless sports teams.
May 17, 2013 -- Updated 1552 GMT (2352 HKT)
Grace Liu says It's time for some tiger cubs to approvingly roar for our strict and demanding parents
May 17, 2013 -- Updated 1157 GMT (1957 HKT)
Sens. Al Franken and Roger Wicker say we need a strong SEC to make sure credit ratings fraud doesn't bring down the economy again.
May 16, 2013 -- Updated 1425 GMT (2225 HKT)
LZ Granderson says instead of reducing the blood alcohol content threshold, how about enforcing existing laws better?
May 16, 2013 -- Updated 1514 GMT (2314 HKT)
Maia Goodell says the military should use civil legal remedies on sexual assault cases.
May 16, 2013 -- Updated 1616 GMT (0016 HKT)
Rand Paul says firing the acting head of the agency isn't enough of a remedy to the abuses that endangered individual rights
May 16, 2013 -- Updated 1737 GMT (0137 HKT)
Simon Tisdall says a gruesome video might further damage the already challenged reputation and credibility of the Syrian opposition.
May 15, 2013 -- Updated 2026 GMT (0426 HKT)
Michael Harley says to give Tesla Model S the "best" trophy is presumptuous - it is pioneering but not flawless
ADVERTISEMENT