Candles burn next to a lighted tree at a makeshift shrine in Newtown, Connecticut, commemorating the victims of the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, 2012.
Editor's note: LZ Granderson, who writes a weekly column for CNN.com, was named journalist of the year by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association and is a 2011 Online Journalism Award finalist for commentary. He is a senior writer and columnist for ESPN the Magazine and ESPN.com. Follow him on Twitter: @locs_n_laughs
Grand Rapids, Michigan (CNN) -- December 13, 1996.
My son, barely a few moments old, is crying. I walk toward the medical room bassinette where he is lying, smile, and then tell him not to worry... daddy's here. And then ever so gently I place his tiny hand inside mine and again tell him daddy's here... I will keep you safe.
He stops crying.
I start.
And thus began a parent and child relationship that is probably no different than the billions that came before that night and the billions in the 16 years after. Of all the natural instincts that enslave my body, the desire to love and protect my son is a master I have never rebelled against. And I am sure many of you can agree: Being a parent can be both a person's greatest joy and greatest sense of anxiety.
"I will keep you safe," is what we tell them.
And then something like the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary happens, or the shooting at the mall in Oregon, or the movie theater in Aurora, and you are reminded of how increasingly difficult it is to do just that.
There have been 31 school shootings since Columbine in 1999, and sadly there is not a damn thing to suggest there won't be 31 more.
In my 20 years of journalism, I have had quite a few conversations with mourning mothers and fathers who have had to bury their children. Last year I interviewed a father who dropped his son off at football practice and never saw him alive again -- taken by an undiagnosed heart ailment. I cried for hours afterward. I'm sure that father still cries on occasion today.
But something different grips your soul when you know the cause of a child's premature death was not brought on by ill health or an accident, but rather an outbreak of senseless violence that took place somewhere we once viewed as safe -- like an elementary school. Or as we saw late this summer in Wisconsin, a place of worship.
We hurt and weep for the victims while fighting off a chilling fear that the same thing can happen to us. I can take my son to the doctor to have his heart checked out, but how do I or any of us drop our children off at school on Monday and not be worried?
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Scared?
Some of us who choose to live in small cities or nice neighborhoods used to be able to cloak ourselves with the comfort of "it can't happen here." But in this new America, it can.
It has.
Newtown, Connecticut, is far from the mean streets of New York City.
There are fewer than 28,000 people there.
And it happened.
What are parents supposed to do? "I will keep you safe" is so much harder today, and at times I feel as if I'm running out of places to hide. Do I keep him away from the movie theater? The mall? School?
Tragedies like these usually reignite discussions surrounding gun laws, but those talks and possible changes do nothing to ease the fear millions of parents are dealing with right now. Guns are the symptoms, the true disease is a culture that embraces, glorifies, and monetizes violence.
In the summer of 2011, a man drove through the heart of my mid-size city's downtown and randomly sprayed the streets with bullets -- striking innocent bystanders before speeding down the street and eventually killing himself. What am I supposed to do, not let my son go to the library that's down there?
"I will keep you safe" is my promise to him, and there are days in which I feel as if this new America is determined to make keeping that promise as hard as possible.
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The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of LZ Granderson.
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Erica Simmons rings the campus bell at Agnes Scott College in Decatur, Georgia, during a nationwide commemoration December 21, marking a week since the Newtown, Connecticut, mass shooting. Church bells rang out across the country at 9:30 ET Friday to remember those who died in the gun rampage.
A woman pauses at a streetside memorial during a moment of silence on December 21 in Newtown.
Connecticut State Police block the road to Sandy Hook Elementary School during a moment of silence on December 21. A week ago, a gunman forced his way into the school and shot and killed 26 people, including 20 children.
A woman bows her head in Newtown's Sandy Hook village on December 21.
People observe a moment of silence for the school shooting victims at the Blue Colony Diner in Newtown on December 21.
Children in Newtown, excluding Sandy Hook Elementary, return to classes on Tuesday, December 18, four days after the shooting at the elementary school.
U.S. Rep. David Cicilline, D-Rhode Island, holds a news conference with the Brady Campaign to discuss gun violence. In attendance with the Brady Campaign were several survivors of gun violence and family members of victims of gun violence.
Members of the human rights group Volunteers Against Crime and Corruption light candles showing the names of those killed during the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, during a prayer vigil in front of the U.S. Embassy in Manila, Philippines on December 18.
Children light candles to pay their respects to the victims of the Newtown, Connecticut, shooting at the main square in Tirana, Albania, on Monday, December 17. The deadly gun rampage at Sandy Hook Elementary School has provoked strong reactions from around the world.
Protesters march on the National Rifle Association's Capitol Hill lobbyist offices in Washington on December 17.
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg speaks out for stronger gun control at a press conference at City Hall on December 17. Bloomberg, co-chair of Mayors Against Illegal Guns, was joined by victims and survivors of gun violence.
Chris Foye, whose son Chris Owens was killed by a stray bullet in 2009, stands with other survivors and family members of gun violence at Bloomberg's press conference on December 17 in New York.
People pay their respects on December 17 at a makeshift shrine in Newtown to the victims of Friday's elementary school shooting. Funerals began Monday in the Connecticut town.
Traders on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange hold a moment of silence on December 17 in honor of the shooting victims.
Young people mourn at Newtown High School before a memorial service attended by President Obama on Sunday, December 16.
President Barack Obama waits to speak at an interfaith vigil for the shooting victims from Sandy Hook Elementary School December 16 at Newtown High School.
Mourners comfort one another December 16 before U.S. President Barack Obama speaks at an interfaith vigil for the shooting victims.
Two women embrace before the interfaith vigil at Newtown High School on Sunday evening.
From left: Newtown residents Claire Swanson, Kate Suba, Jaden Albrecht, Simran Chand and New London, Connecticut, residents Rachel Pullen and her son, Landon DeCecco, hold candles at a memorial for victims on Sunday, December 16, in Newtown, Connecticut.
A young boy walks past Christmas trees set up at a makeshift shrine to the shooting victims in Newtown, Connecticut, on December 16.
Ty Diaz is kissed by his mother, Yvette, at a memorial down the street from Sandy Hook on December 16.
Teddy bears, flowers and candles in memory of those killed are left at a memorial down the street from the school on December 16.
Two teenagers embrace at a makeshift shrine to the victims in Newtown on December 16.
Nuns pay their respects at a makeshift shrine to the victims on December 16.
Members of Sisters of Christian Charity go to lay flowers in front of the Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 16 in Newtown.
A woman receives a hug as she leaves morning service December 16 at Trinity Church in Newtown near the elementary school.
Parishioners pay their respects to the victims of the elementary school shooting while attending Mass at St. Rose of Lima Roman Catholic Church in Newtown on December 16.
Police officers honor the victims of the school shooting at the St. Rose of Lima Roman Catholic Church on December 16 in Newtown.
The Jacksonville Jaguars have a moment of silence in honor of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting victims before their game against the Miami Dolphins on December 16.
A parishioner kneels in front of a makeshift memorial at St. Rose of Lima Roman Catholic Church in Newtown on December 16.
A police officer removes flowers from a busy intersection on December 16 in Newtown. Police said they were afraid the memorial, left for the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, would cause a traffic hazard.
A woman hugs her daughter on the steps of Trinity Church on December 16 in Newtown.
Angel wood cutouts for each of the 27 victims are set up on hillside in Newtown on December 16.
People in Bangalore, India, hold cards and photographs of the slain at a candlelight vigil outside a Catholic church on December 16.
J.J. Watt of the Houston Texans shows his glove in remembrance of the victims before the start of a game against the Indianapolis Colts on December 16 in Houston.
Donna Soto, right, mother of Victoria Soto, the first-grade teacher at Sandy Hook Elementary School who was shot and killed while protecting her students, hugs her daughter Karly while mourning their loss at a candlelight memorial at Stratford High School on Saturday, December 15, in Stratford, Connecticut.
Firefighters kneel to pay their respects at a makeshift memorial near the school in Newtown on Saturday.
A child lights a candle at a memorial filled with flowers, stuffed toys and candles outside of Saint Rose of Lima Church near Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut on Saturday.
Candles light up a memorial outside of Saint Rose of Lima Church in Newtown.
Lucas, Kelly and Michael DaSilva pray and embrace at a makeshift memorial near the school in Newtown.
People are overcome with emotion Saturday at a makeshift memorial near Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown.
Residents arrive Saturday to pay tribute to the victims of an elementary school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut.
A couple carry balloons to place at a curbside shrine to in Newtown on Saturday.
A mother and daughter attend a prayer service at St. John's Episcopal Church in Newtown on Saturday.
Flowers and signs of sympathy adorn the street leading to Sandy Hook Elementary School.
Claudia Urbiana and daughter Jocelyne Cardenas, left, hug outside of the entrance to the Sandy Hook school.
A makeshift memorial with flowers, stuffed toys and candles sit outside Saint Rose of Lima Roman Catholic Church in Newtown, Connecticut, on Saturday.
A man bows his head as he stands at a makeshift memorial, outside Saint Rose of Lima Roman Catholic Church in Newtown on Saturday, December 15.
New Jersey resident Steve Wruble, who was moved to drive out to Connecticut to support local residents, grieves for victims at the entrance to Sandy Hook village in Newtown on Saturday.
People attend a prayer service in Newtown on Saturday to reflect.
A mother hugs her children after paying tribute to the victims in Newtown on Saturday, December 15.
Newtown High School student Trevor Lopez stands outside of a church where residents have come to pray and reflect on Saturday
Andrea Jaeger places flowers and a candle at a makeshift memorial outside a firehouse near Sandy Hook Elementary School on Saturday.
The U.S. flag flies at half-staff above the White House on Saturday.
Ken Kowalsky and his daughter Rebecca, 13, embrace while standing at the end of the road leading to Sandy Hook Elementary School on Saturday.
A woman puts a flower near crosses planted by Rio de Paz (Rio of Peace), in memory of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting on Copacabana beach in Rio de Janeiro on Saturday.
A woman sits during a service at the Asylum Hill Congregational Church in Hartford, Connecticut on Friday, December 14.
Fans at the NBA game between the Utah Jazz and the Phoenix Suns participate in a moment of silence for the victims of the Newtown shooting on Friday in Phoenix.
An overflow crowd listens to a church service held at the St. Rose of Lima Catholic Church in Newtown on December 14.
People gather for a prayer vigil at St. Rose Church on Friday.
People gather for a vigil outside the White House in Washington following the Connecticut elementary school shooting on Friday.
Candles burn as people gather for a vigil outside the White House.
Hartford, Connecticut, Mayor Padro Segarra speaks emotionally about the students and teachers who died earlier in the day at Sandy Hook Elementary School in nearby Newtown at a candlelight vigil at Bushnell Park in Hartford on Friday.
Cynthia Alvarez is comforted by her mother, Lilia, as people gather for a prayer vigil at St. Rose of Lima Roman Catholic Church in Newtown.
People gather for a prayer vigil at St. Rose Church in Newtown.
People gather for a prayer vigil at St. Rose Church.
People gather inside the St. Rose Church to remember the shooting victims on Friday
A woman bows her head during a vigil for the shooting victims at St. Rose Church.
People gather in the St. Rose Church for a memorial service Friday.
Women comfort each other during the vigil at St. Rose Church.
A woman looks on during the vigil at St. Rose Church.
People hug outside of the Newtown United Methodist Church on Friday, near the site of the shootings at the Sandy Hook school.
A flag at the U.S. Capitol flies at half-staff after President Barack Obama ordered the action while speaking from the White House. Obama called for "meaningful action" in the wake of the school shooting.
Julie Henson of San Francisco joins other people outside the White House to participate in a candlelight vigil on Friday.
Obama wipes tears as he makes a statement in response to the shooting on Friday.
Washington resident Rachel Perrone, left, and her 5-year-old son, Joe, center, join others outside the White House in a candlelight vigil.
Faisal Ali, right, of Colorado Springs, Colorado, joins the vigil outside the White House.
People gather outside the White House to participate in a candlelight vigil.
Supporters of gun control hold a candlelight vigil for victims of the shooting outside the White House.
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