Paris attacks: On the day after, less ‘joie de vivre’

Editor’s Note: Jim Bittermann is CNN’s senior European correspondent based in Paris.

In sunnier times the French called it joie de vivre – a carefree joy of life. Millions come here looking for it; but these are not sunnier times.

These days they have another expression that fits: mal au coeur, which means both nausea and heartache.

President Barack Obama, French President Francois Hollande, second from right, and Paris Mayor Anne Hidalgo arrive at the Bataclan, site of one of the Paris terrorists attacks, to pay their respects to the victims, after Obama arrived in town for the COP21 climate change conference, on Monday, Nov. 30, 2015, in Paris. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci

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To be sure there were still plenty of people Saturday posing for selfies in front of the Eiffel Tower and finding a lover’s lips along the Seine. But there were also the police stops in front of the closed shops. In fact, all of the Christmas markets in town have been closed down. The terrorists have managed to steal a little bit of joy out of Christmas.

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The carousel horses were covered and stopped. Other horses with policemen on their backs have taken their place along the Champs Elysees, the avenue the French think is the most beautiful in the world.

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Here and there restaurants remained open, and you could still hear a laugh or two. But cinemas were dark and shuttered; flags flew at half staff over half empty streets; the gates were locked at the upscale stores.

Innocence taken away

Some commentators have called this the French 9/11, just like they did after the attacks in January at the magazine Charlie Hebdo. In sheer numbers the New York tragedy was clearly much worse that those in France, but all three share some things in common: they all make people feel vulnerable – just like they do in Paris today – they all took away a little innocence and sucked the joie de vivre right out of the air.

Vigils are being held across Paris in the aftermath of the terror attacks that took more than 125 lives on Friday, November 13. Photographer Gillian Laub met people who were out honoring the victims and reflecting on the tragedy the next day. Among them were 30-year-old Paquita Mboni, left, and Laurent Farre, 40, at the Place de la Republique square. "In the United States I don't know if this would have happened," Farre said. "People would have been able to defend themselves because they are allowed to carry guns. We aren't, so we are defenseless. But we won't give in to fear. It's not an option."

Laurent Masseau —

"I came here with all my friends tonight. I am in shock. I never saw Paris like this," said Masseau, 36. He was attending a vigil at La Republique. "We are in a state of emergency. It's a kind of civil war. I have felt this coming on for a long time and now it's been confirmed. I am worried that some politicians are going to use this for their own profits and create more hatred."

Carla Crenn —

"I came here to pay my respects to the people who we lost. Today was very hard," said 20-year-old Crenn. "I felt like everyone was staring at me as if I was a terrorist. There is a big difference between being a practicing Muslim and a terrorist. ... I had friends here last night who were killed. That could have been me."

Joe Adelaide and Felicity Ben Rejeb Price —

"I was coming home from work last night and my girlfriend texted saying don't go home, something terrible happened," said Adelaide, 26. "I had to go see; I couldn't help it. But I wasn't even allowed near my apartment because it's across the street from Bataclan and there were barricades."

Sara Bouden —

"My friend Hyacinthe was killed here last night," 28-year-old Bouden said outside the restaurant La Belle Equipe. "I live in the neighborhood and have met her here before. I could have been here with her last night. I am still in shock. It doesn't seem real and I don't know what is going to happen. We all came out here tonight in solidarity to pray for better times."

Pierre Carol —

"I walk by (La Belle Equipe) every day on my way to work," said Carol, 32. "How can this be? Young people just enjoying life and relaxing after a long week at work. Why the young innocent people? ... It's hard to describe how sad I feel right now."

Awa Diabate —

"I am a Muslim and starting to doubt my religion when these people who kill other human beings also call themselves Muslims," 32-year-old Diabate said outside the Bataclan. "But I won't ever lose my faith. I will fight for my beliefs and for my family."

Moira Rosabrunetto —

"I came here to show my respect and reflect on this tragedy," 18-year-old Rosabrunetto said at the Place de la Republique square. "I hope all the Islamaphobia ends in this country. ... Everyone deserves some dignity."

Mazr Marzouk —

"I came here from Egypt in 2002 and raised my three children here, so they are French," said 38-year-old Marzouk. "I am so devastated about what happened, and I am scared for my children. ... I don't want my kids to be filled with hate or fear."

Clea Mbaki Maboliaa —

"I came here with my mom tonight to take photos and to show that we are here and not scared," said Maboliaa, 16. "It is my rebellion. I couldn't sit home and do nothing. ... I almost went to the concert (at the Bataclan) last night and now I am grateful my parents didn't let me."

Candles, flowers and signs are placed at a makeshift memorial in Paris. French President Francois Hollande has called the deadly attacks "an act of war." ISIS claimed responsibility.

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When the Eiffel Tower – the symbol of Paris – went up, it materialized that joie de vivre. It was a called at the time a “folie” – a crazy idea.

The tower Saturday night was closed and dark. No one seems in the mood just now for crazy ideas.