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TIME magazine

Verbatim

"The current economic performance...is as impressive as any I have witnessed...It is possible we have moved 'beyond history.'"
Alan Greenspan, Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank

"I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don't think I'd be waving those flags in God's face if I were you."
The Rev. Pat Robertson, criticizing banners the city posted welcoming tourists to Gay Days

"Orlando is a pretty moral town. If God was going to hurl a meteor...you'd think he'd start with Las Vegas."
Randy Young, a minister from Orlando

"They said it's nothing like Watergate! It's worse. In Watergate ...we didn't have a body!"
Richard Nixon, linking Whitewater with the suicide of Vincent Foster

Joint Economic Committee (Greenspan); The 700 Club (Robertson); USA Today (Young); Nixon in Winter (Nixon)


Winners

Teddy Forstmann
Puts up his money and joins Michael Ovitz and John Walton in funding school vouchers

Mike Wallace & Co.
60 Minutes graybeards stifle bid to clone the show. Self-imitation isn't flattering--or shrewd

Dennis Rodman
Warm gesture overshadows antics as he pays for Texas racial-murder victim's funeral

& Losers

Mariah Carey
Dunned by chauffeur, splits with Derek Jeter. Dream lover come rescue me? Now's the time

Sinbad
Comedian's talk show canceled as Magic Johnson's debuts. Yes--Sinbad had a talk show!

Susan B. Anthony
Suffragette gets little support to put her back on the $1 coin. Yes--Anthony's on a $1 coin!


Court Composure: Music to Dribble To

Basketball seasons come and go, but for "The NBA on NBC," the theme song remains the same. That brash melody that leads viewers in and out of commercials is called Roundball Rock, and it was composed by New Age instrumentalist extraordinaire John Tesh. Ever agreeable, Tesh says he doesn't mind that his best-known, and perhaps most hummable, creation is rarely attributed to him. "It happens to other composers as well, and I love hearing it." Tesh says he wrote the tune while in Europe; without a tape recorder or piano, he called home and sang it onto the answering machine, then submitted it under a fake name. According to Tesh, the song is the same pace as a fast break--120 feet a minute. "When I had to decide what the tempo was, I taped a whole bunch of games, then turned off the sound on the TV to make sure the tempo matched. This song would not work for golf." He says he is thinking of doing a rap version of the song next year. Asked whom he was rooting for in the finals, Tesh replied, "Seeing as I get royalties each time the song is played, I just root for more basketball."


Chronicity

Clock Watching
Last week the board of directors at the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists moved the hands of its Doomsday Clock ahead five minutes--to nine minutes before midnight. We asked Bulletin editor Mike Moore what makes this clock tick:

Q: It's been several weeks since India and Pakistan tested nuclear weapons. Why have you waited until now to move the clock?

A: This was the first board meeting since those tests, but we had been thinking about moving the clock long before that situation. The arms-reduction process between the U.S. and Russia has stalled, which is of great concern.

Q: Could we ever find the clock at, say, 10:30 p.m.?

A: The starting point for the clock was designed to be a quarter to midnight. When we moved it to 17 minutes to midnight in 1991, it was in a burst of optimism. If we found things were so good that we could move it to 10:30, we'd just retire it.

Q: What about 11:15?

A: No, we'd just retire the clock.

Q: Do you consider other possible earth-ending events, such as approaching asteroids?

A: The clock is a metaphor for world tensions; it's not an environmental clock. We don't consider asteroids and such.


Exploiting Our Leaders

Gravy At The Grave
To attract visitors, the Lake View Cemetery in Cleveland, Ohio, is holding an essay contest, the winner of which will enjoy a romantic evening by the monument to slain President James Garfield, near where he and his wife are buried. The evening will be highlighted by a seven-course dinner. Entrants had to explain why they wanted to win. Most just seemed eager for a night out.

Clip Job
This week in Los Angeles, Butterfield & Butterfield will auction off a tuft of Abraham Lincoln's hair, with, the catalog promises, traces of the President's blood still visible. The hair was clipped during Lincoln's postmortem and wrapped in a telegram, which is included. Bid estimates: $10,000 to $15,000.

Inspiration
According to p.r. material for two new novels, Random House's "Lucky Bastard is the...story of a gifted politician with dangerous friends and a zipper problem,'' while the Senator in Simon & Schuster's The Woody has "a history of having a 'zipper problem.'" Where do they think this stuff up?


Numbers

63
Cents on the dollar women earned, compared with men, in 1979

76
Cents on the dollar women currently earn

73
What they earned last year

77
What they earned in 1993

$1,000
Hourly fee to which the Senate last week considered limiting lawyers who sued tobacco companies

50-45
Vote by which they decided to set no limit at all

50, 23
Percentage of men who visit sex sites online who prefer sites with visual erotica vs. those who prefer chat rooms

23, 49
Percentage of women who visit sex sites online who prefer sites with visual erotica vs. those who prefer chat rooms

2
Number of times Mulder's and Scully's lips touch in the film The X-Files: Fight the Future

1
Number of times Mulder gives Scully CPR in the film

Sources: USA Today; Associated Press; MSNBC

By Tam Martinides Gray, Michele Lynn Orecklin and Jessica Yadegaran
In TIME This Week

Cover Date: June 22, 1998

As Good As It Gets
Incite to Abort
Victory For Vouchers
Topic A
Starr's Fellow Traveler
Monica Who?
Oink If You Love Pork
From A Different Shore
Notebook


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