By Kathleen Adams, Harriet Barovick, M.M. Buechner, Tam Gray, Daniel Levy and Joel Stein
"Make some money, have a life, come back, kick ass."
"God, I'd like to forget all this."
"To form a leadership PAC for the sole purpose of advancing oneself...just bothers me greatly."
"...My shoulder was nearly worn out by people giving me high fives."
"This antitrust thing will blow over."
TIME (Hopper); New York Times (Hyde, Gates); National Journal (Livingston); AP (Merletti)
He gets knocked down...
Saddam Hussein, this planet's most revisited villain, is popping back up, daring the world to bomb his country, and then backing down. Will Bill Clinton finally find a way to deflate this crazy clown?
Real news stories this week that could become plots for Adam Sandler's next movie
Have we got a job for you
Newt Gingrich, Al D'Amato and Isaac Mizrahi have all recently found themselves out of a job. And if Ken Starr ever finishes his investigation, he may be too. We asked some headhunters to suggest new careers they could pursue.
Michael Wessel Spectra International
Dennis Spring Spring Associates, Inc.
Holly Fitzgerald Fitzgerald Associates International Inc.
Women in uniform
Shorts or tinies? It seems the International Volleyball Federation, which regulates indoor volleyball, is tired of being the dowdy sister to beach volleyball. The federation's new uniform standards went into effect this month. Women's shirts "must follow the body line," say the regulations. And women's shorts "must be tight in waist and length," with a maximum inseam of 5 cm and "cut in at least a 30[degrees] angle toward the top of the leg." No ruling on tans, yet.
Be prepared, part 11 If the only historical artifacts of the 20th century were the 11 Boy Scout handbooks--issued from 1910 to last week--it would be remembered as an era in which the square knot retained its central importance. Chivalry, woodcraft and "duck-on-a-rock," on the other hand, made way for low-impact camping, Internet etiquette and self-defense from sexual abuse. The new book is printed in color on recycled paper, and it, alas, no longer offers such wise saws as "all trainers know that smoking is bad for the wind."
54,908 Number of merger-related job cuts during the first 10 months of 1998
37,033 Number of merger-related jobs lost during all of 1997
$198,000,000 Combined increase in the value of the stock owned by the CEO of Travelers and the chairman of Citicorp, after the announcement that the companies were merging
$9 IPO price for stock in the Internet company theglobe.com
$63.50 Where the stock closed on its first day of trading, valuing the firm at $691,000,000
$5,800,000 Amount the company lost in the first six months of 1998
70 Percentage of malls that Santa will have gone to by the end of this week
12,000 Number of calls FAO Schwarz mail order has received a day inquiring about the Furby, this year's most popular toy
1,300,000 Number of Furbys shipped to stores
Sources: Challenger, Gray & Christmas, Inc., Wall Street Journal, Dow Jones News Service, International Council of Shopping Centers, FAO Schwarz, Tiger Electronics
Beats writing about molecules Nothing like a newly discovered dinosaur to get those science writers' juices up. According to which publication you read, Suchomimus tenerensis was:
"[a] creature with a long thin snout like a crocodile, thick legs like tree trunks, huge curved claws like meat hooks..."
"...the size of a city bus with 16-in., hook-shaped thumb claws and a snout like a mutant crocodile..."
"[a] giant with a crocodile's face and powerful Popeye-like forearms...sporting a huge, sail-like, bony structure growing out of its back and deadly, 16-in., stiletto-sharp thumb claws..."
"[a dinosaur with] hypertrophy of both the premaxilla and the anterior ramus of the maxilla...and has prominent epipophyses for muscle attachments. The neural spines increase in height rapidly in the middorsal vertebrae, forming a low median sail that is deepest over the sacral vertebrae."
MORE TIME STORIES:
Cover Date: November 23, 1998
Clinton's tormentor finally settles
Get me outta here!
Starr's turn on the grill
Paying a price for polluters
Arizona: What's that rotten smell in phoenix?
Louisiana: The $29 million job
Sweet deal why are these men smiling? The reason is in your sugar bowl