Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Where are the mothers?
So my mother, Rita, was in town visiting last week. Just as she always does, she pummeled me with her usual questions.
"Are you eating enough? You look a little thin." "Oh, Ma!" I said. "You look a little tired. Are you getting enough sleep?" "Oh, Ma!" I said. "And are you still working so much?" "Oh, Ma!" I said. And as always, her reply: "Don't 'Oh, Ma' me! I'm still your mother!" I have to wonder whether Lindsay Lohan's mother does the same thing. And Paris Hilton's mother. And Britney Spears' mother. Because one of the questions that keeps up coming up -- as "Young Hollywood" melts down so fast, it's as if global warming has taken hold in Hollywood -- is this: WHERE ARE THE MOTHERS? Let's look at what Lindsay's mother, Dina, recently told Harper's Bazaar magazine when asked if she thought Lindsay was an alcoholic. "Nooo. She is just a 20-year-old who had to reel it in, and she's from an addictive personality genetically. And in that world, they give you things like candy. Hurt your ankle? 'Let's give her something.' " And oh, by the way: This is the same mother who would go out to clubs with her underage daughter. Huh? Oh, and how did Paris Hilton's mother react when a judge sentenced her daughter to jail for violating probation after getting nailed for reckless driving while intoxicated? Kathy Hilton blew a gasket in court -- not at her daughter for her unconscionable behavior, but at the judge for daring to do such an awful thing! Huh? Kathy Hilton would later issue a statement, doing the one-step, two-step backpedal, that seemed to acknowledge her daughter needed a kick in the rear end. But only after the noise of critics resonated so loudly in her ears she could have used a pair of self-denial earplugs. Maybe it's just me (actually it's not) but is it really unreasonable to ask whether a child gets his or her moral compass from the parents who raised them? And is it unreasonable to ask whether at a certain point parents who have their heads stuck in the sand become enablers by living in utter denial? You want to straighten out the wayward children of Young Hollywood? I have just the thing. Let me introduce them to my mother. Within a week they would all be straightened out, polite, respectful, and on their way to a life of reason, respect and responsibility. Because in the end, mothers who live their lives with eyes wide open will save their children from heading down a dangerous road with their eyes clamped shut. 180 Comments
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In my opinion, their heads are not stuck in the sand. They are stuck in an otherwise unmentionable body part that we are all aware that people's heads get trapped in, at one point in time or another.
Maybe it's because the moms are also trying to look and act the same ages as their daughters? There is an identity crisis. To be a mom or to be a best friend? If mom isn't there to give you sound advice, good or bad, going at it on your own will be quite a painful and bumpy ride. As we have now seen.
Well said. Coming from a mom who would pull any of those young "ladies" out of the bars by their underwear - if they had any on.
I'm sure my mother could give a helping hand, too. Unfortunately too many parents are either blind to their child's faults or too enamored with the Hollywood lifestyle to instill good, old-fashioned values in the children.
These parents of celebrity children need to be the parent to their children and some trying to be their friends. They need to think because they have money they are above the law. We are living in a society that call bad, good and good, bad, or right wrong and wrong right. Morality has left this country and no longer are valuing life and their morals. We have children that are not children anymore. They are acting like adults. Some of the parents are afraid to address their kids, because the child is making a lot of money for the family. Another thing marriage has become, I love so much today, and tomorrow I hate your guts so I want a divorce. That's the Hollywood way. I pray hard for hollywood.
I've been thinking the same thing - where are their mothers? I'm 27 years old and if I pulled the same crap these girls have - my mother would have put me in my place years ago. Mothers shouldn't be your friends at this age - they should be your mother.
Here!Here!
It is sad how hollywood tends to tear down a young artist. It's sadder that the mother isn't there to help them to stay in touch with reality. Shame on them!
Well said, but at the same time do not forget the fathers of these same folks. As the product of a dysfunctional family (my parents actually stayed together), it was both parents who helped mold me into the productive member of society I am today.
HI
what do they say, like mother, like daughter right, how can the daughter be any better if her mother dont mind them screwing up there lives. Man what a sick world we live in. They need God to straighten them out. Sex is gone to there head.
Typical over indulged spoiled brats. When one of these pop-tart losers kills someone in an accident because they are drunk or stoned, or both, it will be the next "trial of the century" with an OJ like outcome. Americans are star-struck ... just look at Arnold - he can't even pronouce California but he won the vote. Go figure??
hopefully you will send a copy of this to the mothers and the kids
With all due respect to mothers who are critical to a child's development, the fathers are the one who are largely in our society.
Where are all the dads?
Some day these people - the young and their parents - might have been different. I hope so. It seems that the MIA parents are all about the celebrity and the value society places on it. They've allowed their children to be turned into things, products. That's not being a parent, it's being a pimp.
Identifying the problem here is relatively simple: There is clearly a conflict of interest that comes into play from a parenting perspective when your child becomes the main source of income. The child recognizes the power they have over the parent and soon learns that they (the parent) is not going to mess with the meal ticket.
There's no doubt that these young women (and young men, might I add - let's not forget them) could do with a good dose of old fashioned discipline and that it's the mothers who typically mete it out. But might I suggest you modify the question to "Where are the families?" My dad was as strict as my mom and the messages I got from both were so consistent it was like they could read each others minds. Fathers are expected to be more than sperm donors and wallets to their children. After all if Rick Hilton is smart enough to keep his businesses thriving surely he can set aside a little time to monitor his children. (Having said that, when Lindsey has a deadbeat dad, I would expect her mother to pick up the slack).
With the exception of Kathy Hilton, Spears & Lohans mothers & family LIVE off them. How can they say anything for fear of being cut off financially? I think its disgusting. I am 47 & my mother STILL tells me like it is. These "children" & their families are an embarrassment & money rules here!
I did not raise my son to become an alcoholic at age 18. I raised him to become a Rhodes Scholar. He managed both. There was no alcohol in our home, and I never took him to clubs when he was underage. He drank with his friends, who showed an amazing capacity for creativity in acquiring their liquor.
Blaming the parents of these spoiled rich brats only goes so far. What about the club owners who willingly serve their underage patrons -- so long as they're beautiful and publicity worthy? What about the papparazzi who hound them unmercifully? What about the studios and publicity machines that encourage them to "be seen" at the right places? Some Hollywood parents do a better job than others. The parents of Hilary Duff, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Leonardo Di Caprio and other stars who survived childhoods in the spotlight come to mind. But the readon Lindsay, Paris and the others behave so badly is because they want to behave badly. It isn't up to the mother of a 20-year-old to keep them home at night.
Mothers can only do too much. After that, decisions for behavior still fall to the children. If a mother has done her job well, those who choose to ignore her wisdom will at least be aware of their folly as they skid down the paths of life.
At the age that some of these "young" stars are, they should be considered adults in their own right. They should have enough responsibiltiy and accountablity to not need their mother or their father to bail them out of the fiascos they get themelves into! And what abou the babies they themselves have? If these stars were "regular" people, they would have been deemed unfit and lost custody of those children by this point. Enough already!
Yes!!
I just had to make a correction, because it's a common mistake. Paris is going to jail because she was driving on a suspended license, which she had because of the driving under the influence charge. Not because of the actual reckless driving while intoxicated.
This of course does not in any way excuse her behaviour, and she should go to jail, but I just had to make that correction.
I am an ordinary mother who had her head in the sand about my daughter waaaay too long. Where am I now? Raising my 5 year old granddaughter with her mother (my daughter) nowhere in sight. It catches up with you one way or the other. Head out of the sand NOW.
These girls are not babies, Lindsay will be 21 next month and Paris is 26. Time to quit blaming the parents and have these girls take responsibility for themselves. It's too late for the parents to parent, and sometimes it just doesn't matter, they kids going to do what ever they want. Especially when it is the child that has the $$$.
Mothers and fathers need to act like
mothers and fathers. If you don't want to pay attention to your children -- no matter what age they are -- then dont' have children. I agree -- it is just a matter of time till someone gets hurt or killed by one of these out of control young women. Pray that they can get on the right track.
What you say makes absolute sense - but think about it..how "normal" is the existence of someone who is makign more money then they know what to do with or is going to inherit more money then they know what to do with..how connected to reality are they in the first place..and in a world where the world is served up on a platter - connection to the real world will be minimal - moral compass or otherwise. Yes parents have a responsibility - but how connected to reality are they?
I wonder if these questions were asked about Judy Garland's mother and Elizabeth Taylor's mother. And of course there's Rose Hovick--known as the epitomy of all the stage mothers who wish they were the star. And how come nobody is asking about Nicole Richie's mother?
These Hollywood mothers need to direct their children in right path since they obviously cannot do it on their own. As a mother of 2 grown sons who understand the meaning of "last nerve" I can proudly say neither one has been in trouble and are respectful to the law and their elders. They have both grown up to be fine young men. When they got on my last nerve they knew they had stepped over the line and straightened up.
I'm not sure what Kathy Hilton's deal is, but Lindsay and Britne's mother suffer from a problem that's very common among young Hollywood's parents - it's really hard to bite the hand that feeds you. Dina Lohan is her daughter's manager, and I have a hard time believing that she'd be willing to sacrifice her couture wardrobe and Botox injections to give her daughter a much needed slap on the wrist. Today's parents have a hard enough time saying "no" to their children. Imagine how much harder it is when the kid can take back the house they bought you.
Everyone asks about the father..didnt Lindsay's dad just get out of jail? There's a role model. Didnt Britney's dad open some fried chicken fast food place in the boonies? Paris' dad..that poor man never speaks a word. Appears to me the mother wears the pants in that family. So it would seem the fathers are pretty much irrelevant.
Regarding Dina Lohan, I would like to know where are the other Lohan children when she is out partying with Lindsay and the dad is in jail? Lindsay is the oldest in the family - correct? Quite frightening to say the least. Lindsay is the bread winner in that family and Dina is loving every second. I feel very sorry for all the children! Lindsay has changed from a lovely and talented actress (The Parent Trap) to a messed up, drugged out young woman who looks much older than her years. Very sad.
Is it me, or should everyone be sick to the back teeth of Paris, Lindsay and Britney? I know I am. I'm tired of hearing about privilege being abused because they're Hollywood and the rest of us aren't. You know as well as I, if cocaine had been found in our cars, we wouldn't be out free to go into rehab AGAIN, we'd be locked up like some bad guest actor on L.A. Law.
If anyone else had been caught even ONCE driving on a suspended license, it's to JAIL we'd go, not back to a high-end suite at our daddy's hotel. It's the parents' faults also, the parents are like the ones at wedding receptions, who let the kids run around and make all kind of noise and don't police their own kids, they turn them loose on everyone else. That's what I feel like here. These 3 pieces of garbage have been turned loose for the world to deal with, and the tabloid shows love it. Stop supporting what makes them money, we'll see how long it takes for them to clean their acts up.
Amen. Thank you. I was begining to wonder if I was the only one raised by a mother who holds her children accountable for their actions, the way they live their lives, and for their actions in society. It would break my mother's heart if I did something like what these girls have done. Then, my mother would straighten me out. Heck, in regards to Hilton, my mother would have probably told the judge to give me a longer sentence in jail because I deserved it and to teach me a lesson: that no one is above the law.
Very well said. It is amazing how young hollywood thinks the law doesn't apply. Most of these mothers are grabbing on to their children's coat tails for their 15 minutes of fame instead of being responsible parents. How does a 20 year old get into a club anyway? If I were 20 any my mother knew I was in a club she would have come down and pulled me out by my hair!
20 somethings party... that is just the way it is. What they are doing is not all that different from what your average single 25 year old would be, perhaps a little more extreme because of the amount of money they have to spend. The difference is that the media follows their every move and sets unrealistic expectations of perfection in the public eye. But I wouldn't blame the mothers or the media, they are all old enough make their own decisions.
The thing that annoys me though is that they are driving drunk. I would think that someone with that amount of money could at least take the time to call a driver to get them home without harming anysone.
These are GROWN women. Maybe the reason they act this way is that no one makes THEM take responsibility. "Young Hollywood" think there is no consequences to their actions because, so far, there hasn't been.
Kudos! I'm tired of the inebriated youth of hollywood!! I'm 25 and could not concieve of wasting such a fortunate life. Their selfishness is seemingly endless, and I'm glad I'm not the only one with the "where are the mothers?" question on my mind. Send um' to my Grammy, she'll straighten their problems right out! By-the-by I believe in no exceptions; Paris Hilton's sentence was a joke...
It would appear that their fathers were not present in their lives or were not stepping up to a more active involvement in raising those children. Yes, children. If they do not act responsibly, they are children...very dangerous children.
you know what guys? i'm wondering if that kind of young celebrities who don't know what values and respect are except for being alcoholic or having their daily drugs could one day give an education to their own kids. what do you think Lindsay,Paris ?? Can wait for you to have a kid!
The problem is that these kids HAVEN'T been raised by their moms. They were raised by nannies or agents. If their mothers would stop going to movie premiers and $5,000 a plate functions, maybe they could take better care of their children. Or as they like to think of them.....investments.
To the folks asking, "where's the Dads", I think since the most dysfunctional figures in Hollywood today seems to be young "females" (not ladies), it is a mother's responsibility to instill the values. True, it takes both parents to properly raise children, but the mothers should be the parent to teach young girls how to be respectable young ladies. My mother would've straightened me out before I hit my teen years, and she frequently talked to me about what it takes to be a respected and responsible young lady. She also led by example and not adhering to the "do what I say and not what I do" logic. Like some have already said, these girls have mothers who are trying to be their BFF and enjoying their daughters' success and money too much to interfere.
Now, if the situation were reversed and there were young men running rampant, then I would ask, "where's the dads"!!!
Mom (or Dad) cannot always control the child. At some point the child becomes a legal adult, influenced by other legal adults who may or may not be entirely mature. But that isn't the real point of the article, I think. The point is that the parents of these misbehaving stars seem to be publicly condoning the behavior - and that is what people find disturbing. But in the end, it is no different than a Mafia mom or a gang member's mom that denies their child could be so bad. Some people are just really, really good at denial, and that's not just a symptom of Hollywood.
It's the ultimate in lazy parenting: the "yes" moms. Yes honey you can go out partying; yes honey you can drink when you drive; yes honey, you are outside the law and mommy's precious baby won't ever get into trouble.
Simply put this is: b.s. As the parents of 3 boys, my husband I have to carefully weigh up our yes's and no's. It can't always be yes. It shouldn't always be no. It has to be balance - and it has to be what is best for the child in the long run. Parenting classes are too late for these parents. They can use the money for therapy for their adult child instead, I guess.
What they need is "TOUGH LOVE".
Enabling your children to be irresponsible will never teach them the survival skills they need in the real world. These young hollywood moms needs a WAKE UP CALL.
PR people and image consultants are also to blame. They're the ones who tell Arnold to keep saying, "Cal-ee-fornia," and make sure new stars know to start working the party scene. Guess the idea is that bad press is better than no press. Perhaps some mothers are worried that going against this system will estrange them from their daughters. Still, mothers should risk it for the sake of keeping their daughters decent an respectable!
Ok Dr. Freud, blame the mothers. These young women are adults and their mothers are not accountable for their adult childrens' behavior. I sure don't blame my own mother for youthful mishaps. Do you?
It's only my opinion, but...
1)Yes, it is women and men behaving badly in "young hollywood" 2)Yes, it should be both their Mom's and their Dad's helping to straighten them out 3)Yes, they are "adults" now, but raising kids to be good adults starts at birth and when the children are very young. These parents fell down on the job for various reasons (too busy with their own careers and money, or too caught up in getting money out of their children's careers). However it's never too late to act like a parent, and no matter what my kids ages get to be, I will always be the one they should hate the most to disappoint and I will never wash my hands of them because they are "grown up". 4)This will catch up with them, but I'm afraid it's the children of "young hollywood", like Britney Spears' boys, who are going to pay. Britney is clearly contributing to a whole new generation of irresponsible out of control people since she is never home to be a Mom to the two kids she so desperately wanted a short time ago. They are really all that matters now, so I have no sympathy for her "plight". Many people would love to have her "problems". Time to grow up, stop being selfish and whiny, and be a responsible Mom who puts the kids first! God help us if the young people of today are using these celebrities as an example of what's "cool" or how to behave, because we will all be in a lot of trouble if that happens. I guess we, as parents, will have to work even harder to overcome their bad influence on our children. How sad.
Let's face it, all of Hollywood, including the parents are just plain shallow. Their just a different breed.
While I agree that these girls are in desperate need of some rules, I think it's horrible that we're focusing on 2 young women and their problems and on the absence of good parenting on the part of those 2 young women's mothers.
It seems like a very one-sided attack on women. So, I must say: 1) The news is what the media and we, the consumers, make it. Should we stop being interested in these 2 young ladies, the media will stop printing stories about them. 2) Why not focus on the positive? There are plenty of young women and men who are excellent role models and bettering their communities. 3) We must stop blaming only mothers for being bad parents. Notice that there is no mention of fathers, but we all know that it takes two to make a baby. Both of these babies have fathers that are alive and at least superficially active in their lives. Yet, these two men are conspicuously absent in their lives. 4) On a similar note, we must stop using these 2 young women as scapegoats. They act as many young women AND men do, but these two simply do it in the spotlight.
While I agree that the parents of these folks have failed them (and yes, I mean both their mother AND father), I also believe that it is probably too late to change them. The moral character of a person needs to be shaped from birth and once it is set, it is very hard to modify. Do you really think that these spoiled children will ever grow up as long as they are surrounded by folks that are willing to cater to their every needs? It is also not just a symptom of being born rich - is there anyone out there who believes that Jackie Kennedy Onasis raised Caroline or John to be spoiled rotten brats? Look at the good they did and without continually grabbing headlines for all the wrong reasons! In this environments, everyone needs to go back to raising well mannered, responsible children and stop excusing every bad thing they do then wondering why they are so disconnected from reality.
Dina Lohan and Kathy Hilton can't accept that they are in their 50s -- that's the problem. And by struggling to act 25, they are enabling their daughters' poor behavior and 'live for the moment' morality.
Let's be honest, none of these so called "singers/actors/models" was actually raised by their parents. I'm pretty sure there is over 50 nannies who took care of the kids while mommy and daddy were partying. Now the moms just tried to be "friends" with their daughters and put the blame on someone else. Mr & Mrs Spears, Hilton and Lohan, please just take responsibility of your own actions (or lack of) and face the fact that you really really damaged your kids
I have a 20 yr old daughter that I can "talk" to until I am blue in the face, but she has a mind of her own. She has a baby by her boyfriend and is only allowed to come over while he is at work because he states that we are "not normal" (we don't drink or do drugs, unlike his parents), so we are boring people. We raised her proper and her record proves it, unlike his two DUI's. My point is how far can a parent push if the child is not willing to listen? Do you push so far that your child refuses to see you or let you see the grandchildren? Once they become adults they have a mind of their own and even though they don't listen, they really are and down the road they will wish they would of acted on what we were trying to guide them on.
Where are the mother's? that is a good question. Another question we could ask is Where are the police? Lohan is underage. Why aren't the establishments she is getting served at being penalized for serving minors?
While I too wonder where young hollywood's mothers are - let's not forget to ask where are their fathers? Neither Britney nor Lindsay have relationships with their lunatic fathers. While I do not know what type of relationship Paris has with her father I do wonder how these girls can continue onward in their destructive ways.
Oh - wait, yes I do - because the media demands it. Why are these obviously troubled girls continually harrassed? Nicole, Mary-Kate, Lindsay, Mischa, Paris, Britney...these are the names on the front of OK!, People, Star, InTouch. The public's desire to see trainwrecks is overfed by these salacious and invasive publications. They will not be satisfied until one of them succumbs to their demons and then the evening news will devote a half hour to the death rather than reporting on more serious matters. It's not just young hollywood's mothers - but our culture and we in general who are responsible for this tragedy.
AMEN!!! It's an absolute disgrace! If I had ever even considered behaving the way these girls have, I don't I would have even made it to adulthood. A previous post mentioned the mom's trying to be either 20 again or their daughter's best friend and he/she is right. It's all give them what they want, don't hurt their feelings, don't discipline them - they won't like you! Get over it. Step up, be a parent and do your job. These women will one day thank you!
The problem is bigger than that! It's our justice system; Example, The court system cutting time severed for good behavior before Paris spent a second in jail, thus promoting her bad behavior. It will happen again and didn't Lohan get a DUI? Why was she out in her car in the first place? She shouldn't be driving! Not to mention that she shouldn’t be in clubs where alcohol is served.
The problem is; in addition to poor parenting a government that promotes bad behavior and the media as well for not writing the stories properly. Notice today’s headlines in CNN where the article reads; Woman dies because the power company cutting off her power. The article never states that maybe just maybe if the woman paid her bill, the power company wouldn’t have been turned off. It’s more interesting to point blame to the power company but I don’t know why. The stupid woman should have paid her bill. Take the guy who has TB and was instructed not to fly. Even after this guy knew he had the deadly form of TB, he boarded a plane, putting hundreds if not thousands of lives at danger especially people who have had organ transplants or AIDs. This guy has absolutely no concern for human life other than his own, yet no one is mentioning anything about his selfish act. The people should be furious, absolutely furious and three should be a lynch mob outside the hospital where he resides. In summary, this bad behavior is everywhere! It shouldn’t be tolerated by parents, governments, or the general public and bad behavior will continue until people are forced to pay for their actions.
So True !!! These mothers need to give these kids a kick in the rear ends and sent out in the real and get jobs and learn respect.
While I agree with much of what has been said here, I have an issue with the topic. There's a lot of "wild child" behavior in Hollywood - but it isn't just from the girls. Why are the girls the only ones getting flack?
In the case of Lohan and Hilton, it would indeed appear that their mothers are perpetuating their bad behavior. However, I know many mothers who did a fantastic job providing boundaries for their children and still ended up with irresponsible adults. Our society places too much emphasis on too many of the wrong things. When we celebrate celebrity and a star's every move is reported, we have to expect that immature young women such as Lohan and Hilton are going to use society's seemingly sick fascination to their advantage. I blame the girls for their own bad behavior.
Equally to the point, where are the authorities. If day after day there are news stories about underage starlets drinking in clubs either buying directly or getting drinks from older friends, this should trigger an investigation, and if true, should result in businesses closed and irresponsible friends jailed for providing the drinks to a minor. In the same vein, if news reports have someone famous seen with a bag of marijuana or other drug at an airport, I would expect this to be probable cause to watch them when they travel.
it is too late for momma to do anything about these young people. They should have been parents when they were younger uh I think 21 + is a bit late to try and start parenting. Britney Spears and Paris Hilton etc. are nothing more than freak shows in the reality inclined Anna Nicole world of television celebrity worship.
Lindsay is an adult. Her Mother isn't in a position to tell her what to do and expect to be obeyed.
That said, Ms Lindsay needs to experience some consequences for her actions. Simply ducking into rehab isn't the answer. Too many "stars" have been doing that lately to try to duck responsibility for their actions. One would hope that whatever Judge addresses this current fiasco will see right through it and give her some jail time. Lindsay (and other people) need to learn that there are serious consequences for one's actions. Perhaps that will make her consider what she's doing before she gets herself into trouble AGAIN. And shame on her father for taking advantage of this for his own personal gain.
Thank god I am not the only one saying "Where is her mother." Sometimes giving in to their every whim is not the answer, sometimes a swift kick in the butt is.
I absolutely agree! Parents in general need to listen to any alligations against their children. After that they should try to help in resolving the issues or at least be proactive in preventing problems by discussing how to act right and why. Based on observations, stuff is pretty scary for our future.
These girls are not from the most stable families. All these parents seem to have their own problems, but let's not forget that there are many good parents whose teenagers and young adults are acting out as well. Those kids just aren't playing their lives out before a national audience. Times have changed and people have let values and moral go by the wayside in the quest for fame and fortune. It takes a village and the American village leaves a lot to be desired.
I think these Mothers definitely had their heads in the sand. For Dina Lohan to act like Lindsey's behavior was "normal" letting loose is ridiculous. Her daughter was well on her way to becoming an alcoholic and drug addict at the ripe old age of 20 and she was turning a blind eye. But the ultimate responsibility lies with Lindsey not her Mother. It's much easier for us to accept if we blame the parents but I'm pretty sure Lindsey knew that doing cocaine for hours on end was not a "good thing"! In rehab blaming your Mom is not the first step to recovery but taking responsibility for your own actions. Of course, these Mom sure were wonderful enablers!
Where are the parents? This young stars are meal tickets for the parents. Of course the parents are just going to let them "do their thing". And then the parents get to buddy up with them and party the nights (and days) away.
Not just in Hollywood, but in all areas of our society. Mothering is on the way to being a lost art. I teach 4 yr old PreK and I am constantly AMAZED at things I hear Mothers say and do.
I completely agree, it appears that the mothering instict in young hollywood seems to be limited to lunch dates and fashion advice. My mother would have personally called the police if I were driving intoxicated and if she could have, would have slapped the handcuffs on me herself. THAT'S a good mom.
Lack of parenting (from BOTH mothers AND fathers) setting boundaries and disciplining while these women were growing up may very well play a critical roll in their behavior now--but these women are adults--all over 18, most in their mid-twenties. They're responsible for themselves, they make their own choices--maybe if we stop patronizing and criticizing them as if they were teenagers, they would stop behaving as such.
While yes it is the responsiblity of the parent to make sure that their children grow up with morals and become law abiding citizens a parent cannot regulate their child after the age of 18. Having been in the business of entertainment I see it all around, the hand outs , the ignoring of bad behavior and the law breaking. It comes not from too much too soon but from the people that are in the center of it all collecting commission off the one who is doing all the work. Because with a "no" from a manager, bodyguard, attorney, accountant or any other person on the payroll comes the possiblity that that person will in fact be thrown off the gravy train they having been riding. It also comes from the clubs that continue to serve underage drinkers from all walks of life. But because the entertainers that are getting in trouble are bringing in business so to speak it is over looked. Not until someone dies either the entertainer or a person they kill will things change. We need to stop putting entertainers and sports figures on pedastels. We need to remember that these people just have different jobs than the rest of us and in most cases get paid way too much to do it. Everyone should be treated equally under the law period! Rehab should not be a resort hotel like setting that someone runs to everytime they get in trouble. Judges should use the laws on the books and enforce them not lower a persons sentence before they even start their time in jail. Most imortantly one cannot help someone who does not want to be helped and you cannot teach a person a lesson unless they are willing to learn.
In a society that caters to the idea of celebrity, I think it's a little late to be looking for the parents after something's gone wrong. I 26--the same age as these girls--and I was wondering where the parents were 15 years ago when everyone was gah-gah over the Olsen twins and Britney was just starting out. My parents would never have allowed me to be used and exploited the way these poor kids have been product-ized their whole lives. They're given everything they want (usually more); they are gotten out of every scrape and problem (although these make their brand even more popular); yet we still expect them to come out normal, adjusted adults. Look back over all the child stars and teenage sensations over the last century; very few of them survived without major scarring. Yes, I agree that the parents are stupid and greedy to not put their child's well-being ahead of their own pockets, but our entire society creates these kids. We need to look more closely at the monster we've created before blaming a weak parent for buying into the system.
AMEN! This is the problem with society as a whole....parents are so concerned with their children having everything handed to them on a silver platter that we are raising a whole society of self-indulgent spoiled rotten brats.
Blame the parents, sure, that's convenient. What ever happened to the notion of taking personal responsibility for your actions?
EVERYONE has had parents at one point or another, but not everyone has had a general public who, directly or indirectly, provides the financial ability to lead such a lifestyle. Let's compensate our 'stars' a little less and force them to live like the rest of the world...then maybe one day that pointed finger will turn a full 180 and point back at the REAL problem - the individual.
Everyone on here posting can be a good example towards others. I have been on other news sites, and they all have been wondering off onto other things and not sticking with the story at hand. Well done. I feel as if these girls are going to slam at the bottom and just like all the others in the past, they're going to have to make a "come back" It's amazing that the girls get more attention than the boys, who are doing the exact thing. Give a 20 something millions of dollars, and they're going to do what ever people their age wants, because that is how they can keep their "so-called" friends.
It's easy to judge when it's not your kid. We can all say these kids need a spanking, but this is the way most kids act anyway right under their parents noses. But the difference is that these kids actions are right published in the media like CNN, as what I did and those young ladies on "Girls Gone Wild" are not.
Also, Lindsay and Paris are over 18 so they can rightfully tell their parents to go away or ignore any matronly advice. The media and our fascination only feeds their need for wild partying further as they know everything they do will show up the next day in the tabloids and CNN. Stop reading stuff about these kids and the web-page advertising revenue for these stories will drop and the website will get the hint.
I don't know if it's a lack of mothers as it is a lack of people in their lives who are willing to be an authority figure. Young Hollywood grows up just as coddled as young professional athletes, with everybody catering to them and telling them how great they are. Clubs letting them in, even though they are underaged. Shops and boutiques giving them tons of free stuff. Media swarming around them, especially the entertainment media, which paints these young celebs as royalty. Most people had somebody when they were younger, whether it was a parent, a teacher or a coach, to knock them down a peg when their britches got too big. Who is knocking Lindsay, Paris and Britney down a peg? Certainly not their inner circles.
About the comments that at 20+, this is out of the parents' hands, and these kids should be responsible for themselves... If the parents had done their job when these kids were 5, 10, 15, and 17, then they would be able to handle the pressure, and would not think themselves above the law.
My parents laid down very few rules - they had to always know and approve where I was, and who I was with... no drugs... no driving drunk or getting in a car with anyone who'd been drinking. No breaking laws. Anything else I wanted to do was approved on a case by case basis--even in the days before cell phones, I could always find a payphone to call and ask for approval of a change in plans. That was it. I'm almost 33 now, and while I stopped calling Mom when I want to go to the movies when I went off to college, I've yet to break any of the other rules. I see no reason these Hollywood parents shouldn't be able to do the same (they should even have it easier, because the media help monitor them -- where my Mom had to rely on neighbors and friends) -- and there is evidence that many Hollywood parents--and hence their children--succeed just fine.
I just had to say, lay off the poor girl, and don't critisize her mother for going out to the bars with her... make a big deal about a twenty year old who drinks... Hey parents who are judging her mother, remember when you were twenty, and it was legal to drink, but now anyone under twenty one drinks and they are immoral and horrible, and her mothers a bad parent for allowing it. WAKE UP AMERICA... WE ARE AT WAR AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS COMPLAIN ABOUT HOLLYWOOD MOTHERS... This country makes me more and more sick everyday
Let's face it, celebrities are often celebrities because they have the willingness, looks, circumstances and eccentricities to be in the limelight. No one would have heard of these women if they were responsible and had simply studied to become accountants! These are not role models, they are not supposed to be "responsible" women, they are wild and crazy performers! (with a few extra million dollars at their fingertips before their 21st birthdays) Once they have time to mature, there may be others who follow in the footsteps of celebrities such as Jolie- now involved in many humanitarian efforts, instead of the more crazy antics of her youth. Why are we so obsessed with these women? We should focus on the ones in our own families and communities that need guidance. Or the ones who use their wealth and celebrity for good causes. And otherwise, turn off the TV!
I am disappointed that you are only focusing on the mothers. Although there actions, or lack thereof, are questionable, these young ladies have fathers too and both parents and children should be held accountable.
Our society is so quick to blame. Perhaps we need some moral, upstanding human beings that are portrayed in the media positively instead of being bogged down with the likes of hollywood vanity that lack a moral compass.
Isn't part of the problem that they paid HUGE amounts of money for playing make believe and they lose their grip on reality? Celebrity are coddled, spoiled and even our legal justice system does not hold them to the same accountability as "regular folks". They are let off with a slap on the wrist for offenses that most normal people would be in jail for.
We help this along too. The club owners get the publicity of being the "in" place to be, so they serve alcohol to minors, the parents can't control their kids because they are no longer children. Certainly Lindsay is out of control but she is over 18, is living on her own and can tell her Mom to butt out if Mom tells her something she doesn't like (not that her mother is being reasonable in partying with her). But when did it become REASONABLE for these people to make MILLIONS of dollars for making ONE movie? Part of it is our society too. Lindsay is in the business since she was young and has no basis for reality.
Well put, being the "cool mom" can have major repercussions. Parenting isn't about being cool, it's about the dirty deed called responsibility -- Responsible mothers are the true pillars of cool and your children will thank you in the end.
If the followers and supporters of all these glorified "starlets" talked by keeping their wallets in pockets, a significant message would be sent; i.e., their products wouldn't sell and sponsors would not be there if they didn't get their (clean) act together.
In the case of Lindsey Lohan - she is nothing more than a meal ticket to her mom. Dina Lohan seems like the parent who needs to live vicariously through her child because of the regret that she never achieved this level of success herself. Therefore, now she has the opportunity to act as stupid and irresponsible as her daughter. This is all about Dina Lohan, not Lindsey. I don't think Dina gives a darn about Lindsey's welfare. As long as her daughter stays in the spotlight - she does too. As far as Paris Hilton, the only way that poor excuse for a family will wake up is when Paris gets behind a wheel drunk and kills someone's mom, dad, son, daughter, etc.. God forbid that happens, but at the same time, I wouldn't be suprised if that moron Kathy Hilton tried to make some excuse for her daughter!
Isn't alot of the problems we see today in society about responsibility? When growing up parents, both mom and dad are responsible in training, directing and guiding their children so they can grow up a well balanced adult. When you are an adult aren't you responsible for your own actions? Yet, today it is someone else's fault I am an alcoholic, drug abuser, violent person, can't keep a job, in jail, can't raise my own children, just about any thing else? Responsibility for your own actions is a much needed quality that is in very short supply today, regardless if you are "famous, rich, infamous or poor" and if people would quit blaming everyone else and everything else for what their bad behavior is, then I am hopeful that would be a tremendous benefit to humankind today.
I think you are totally on track there. I want to be a friend to my daughter so she feels she can talk to me without me blowing up, but at the same time, I am her mother. She is not always going to like me.. and if you are doing your job right as a mother, um, they won't like you all the time. That is just how it is.
And yes, enablers, those Hollywood mothers are. How could you not think it was awful that your still teenager/barely 20 year old daughter goes to rehab! What! There is also another issue here... children that are expected to act like grown ups. I see it everywhere. In clothing, to the games/movies/electronics/ to the things they eat and drink. People are expecting their children to grow up and be autonomous way too early. AS a matter of fact, it almost appears like some parents shove their children into adulthood. Me, I will be the typical mom. I will be hated and yet respected at times. I will be the worrier. I will be the mother that expects their grown up child to call me if they have traveled a long distance.
***NEWS ALERT FOR MRS. LOHAN****
Go get your daughter, bring her back to whatever small town you came from and please try to act like a mother to her. Lindsay is not your FRIEND, not your SISTER and not your party buddy! Take her camping for a couple of weeks, do something!!!!!!!!!!!!! Before its to late.
In response to Anonymous who discussed the woman who passed away because the power company cut off her power (and her oxygen she needed) IF you had bothered to read the story instead of spouting of at the mouth you would have read she fell ill and couldn't pay the bill and she was only $120 behind. I used to work for a collection firm, and quite honestly power companies let some bills get into the thousands before cutting power. I pray you never fall on hard times and struggle to pay bills!
As for these kids, the parents failed them when they were young, the justice system is failing them now. Make them pay the price anyone would pay for their actions, Paris says her 45 (now reduced to 23) day sentence was cruel, oh yea you little twit? Why don't you go ask the parents, spouse, siblings or children of someone who was killed in a drunk driving accident because of some ignorant jerk like yourself. That's cruel they will never see their loved one again...as for those who read this and say but she made a mistake...yes she did and she was warned by having her license suspended and yet she drove and got caught and was let off with ANOTHER warning and drove again. How many mistakes does she get? Lindsay has been out of rehab for a short time and has been caught on tape snorting cocaine, it was allegedly found in her car after her accident she has been charged with a DUI. I bet she gets out of that mess. Britney is just a train wreck and instead of focusing on her career should be focusing on raising two boys who aren't royal screw ups like herself. Where the parents have failed, the system should step in, stop with the special treatment and make these kids pay!
Way to go. That's right, the MOTHERS and FATHERS should be stepping in and trying to reel their children in. I guess they think they make too much money to do that. Ha. Let them live with me for a week or two and I'd show them how to act, live and respect the position they've been given...
Here's what I'd like to know - Where is God in these young womens lives? Have the paparazzi ever photographed any of them going to church?
I don't expect this to be published because there are so many comments already. But I didn't see anyone ask about these girls religious beliefs. It appears they have none.
This isn't 1957. Where are the dads? Both parents are just as screwed up as the kids in most cases.
As my father has always told me, parenting does not stop just because a child turns 18. I am 41 years old and my parents still have a very strong influence on me. Sometimes, it is just the voice of reason in my head.
I am one of the mothers that always did checks and balances to my sons as they grew - what worries me now is how the disfunctional "mothers/children" get the publicity and funtional are consider boring. There is no common sense anymore, it is lost to sensationalism.
I have always felt that the blame for Paris Hilton's behaviors rested with her parents. They had enough money to provide her with ANY kind of education but she instead ended up a vapid airhead. Maybe the public should boycott Hilton hotels until they enroll her in community college in Alaska with no cameras around.
Posted By  : Thu May 31, 10:20:00 AM EDT ET |
