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Preview: South Park for PC
January 18, 1999
Web posted at: 3:30 PM EST
(IDG) -- WARNING: This video-game preview contains foul
language, PC favoritism, and references to Chef's
Chocolatey Balls. Continued reading can lead to
ill-mannered behavior and bad temperaments.
Proceed with caution.
What could possibly be more fun than cuddling
up with Chef beside the fireplace for some good
old-fashioned ~#!@%? Well, how about Acclaim's
South Park game for the PC? Yep, Games.net
now believes that playing this upcoming shooter
will be a lot more fun than getting buck-wild with
Chef--no matter how tasty his Chocolatey Balls
are.
In coming to the PC, the South Park game will
gain new options and control schemes not
available in the Nintendo 64 version. Multiplayer
games over a LAN or the Internet will allow
individual players to have their own screen rather
than a dinky quarter-screen, making
deathmatches more immersive. And, of course,
you'll get to aim with a mouse instead of that
nasty little analog stick.
South Park: The Game's story takes place in the
show's all-too-familiar Colorado town. Like some
twisted version of Deep Impact, the townsfolk,
mutant turkeys, and space aliens go crazy upon
hearing news of a giant meteor heading straight
for Earth. Playing one of the four South Park
youngsters, you must somehow save the world,
the town, and yes, even Mr. Garrison.
As you go, you'll nab a variety of
weapons--though they're not exactly standard
Half-Life-issue. Think snowballs, dodgeballs, a
Toilet Plunger Launcher, a Sponge Dart Gun, a
Super Sniper Chicken,
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Hey! #!@%?
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Dr. Mephisto's Warpo
Ray, a Cow Launcher, and a top-secret weapon
based on alien technology known only as the
Dancing Gizmo! And it gets better: Each weapon
has an alternative firing feature that does more
damage, affects more enemies, or basically just
looks funny. For example, instead of just throwing
a snowball, you can have one of the children
urinate on it first--creating one very yellow
snowball.
South Park PC is basically the N64 version
(available in stores now) on crack! We're talking
higher resolution, quicker frame-rates, and
Internet multiplayer capabilities. Though it won't
be available until late January/early February, the
PC version is looking really good.
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