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Gary & Tony Have a Baby

Aired June 26, 2010 - 20:00   ET



SOLEDAD O'BRIEN, CNN SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT (voice-over): Tony Brown and Gary Spino, they can't get much past their front door before they're reminded of what they're missing. Everyone seems to have a child.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hi, Blaze (ph). How you doing, buddy?

O'BRIEN: Gary can't even ride his bike to work without a stroller whizzing by.

GARY SPINO, PROSPECTIVE FATHER: Growing up Italian, this is something I was taught to want -- grow up, get married, have kids.

O'BRIEN: They've been together 20 years. Both men are in their late 40s.

(on camera): There are a zillion kids at this park.

SPINO: And I've got to tell you, since we moved here, I would come here and try to sit there and, like, watch one or two kids interact and run around, and follow them and think, I want to have a child.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): This couple is ready for the next big step in life. Gary and Tony want to have a baby.

(on camera): Why have a baby? Why was that the next logical step?

SPINO: I thought at the end of my life, what am I going to say? Do I wish I would have had a bigger apartment, or do I wish I would have had a family? And it was a no-brainer.

TONY BROWN, PROSPECTIVE FATHER: I've always loved kids. It brings out the kid in me. You know, there's nothing like the love of a child.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): It might seem an unlikely step for two men who spent a lifetime fighting for gay civil rights.

(on camera): Were you activists early on here?

BROWN: Oh, yes. Absolutely.

SPINO: It was with Act Up. And it just felt so good to finally yell out and say, "No!"

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Theirs is a story of how love changed everything.

Tony remembers the moment they met.

BROWN: Gary was across the room, a dance floor, a crowded dance floor. And our eyes met.

O'BRIEN (on camera): That's such a cliche.

BROWN: It is. It's totally true, though. It absolutely happened that way.

O'BRIEN: You saw each other across the dance floor?

BROWN: I looked at my friend next to him and I said, "That's him."

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Tony was so excited, he overcame his fear of telling his parents he was gay.

BROWN: When I met Gary, I realized that I could live my life happily. I had to come out. There wasn't an option anymore.

O'BRIEN (on camera): What did you say? Literally, what did you say?

BROWN: I said, "Mom, remember I told you I was seeing somebody? His name is Gary."

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Their struggle took on a new face.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are you prepared to make your vows to one another?


O'BRIEN: They founded The Wedding Party and staged mass weddings to promote gay marriage. Tony debated his opponents at a public college forum on marriage.

FRANK RUSSO, AMERICAN FAMILY ASSOC. OF NEW YORK: And to now make special legal circumstances for people who suffer from this unfortunate disorder of same-sex attraction, it makes no sense at all.

BROWN: What we're talking about today is equality.

O'BRIEN (on camera): There are plenty of people who say your marriage destroys the institution of marriage.

SPINO: I want to ask them, tell me how my marriage affects your marriage? Tell me. And nobody is able to do that. UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I now pronounce you legally married.


O'BRIEN (voice-over): They married in Canada. The U.S. doesn't recognize the marriages of same-sex couples, though five states grant gay couples limited marriage rights.

(on camera): Is it ironic, though, that one of the most activist things you're doing right now is incredibly traditional? You want to be a family. You want to have a baby. That is very traditional for a bunch of activists, isn't it?

SPINO: It is. And we've been taught since you're born, grow up, get married, have a kid. It's really unfair to then say, you know what? You can't do that.

BROWN: Except for you.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): So, five years ago, they thought they'd found a way to be parents. Tony donated his sperm to a lesbian couple who wanted a child.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We weren't looking for a parent. We weren't even really looking for a father. We were just looking for somebody who that this child they could know.

O'BRIEN: After Piper was born, Gary and Tony realized it wasn't the same as being full-time parents.

(on camera): You already have a baby. You have a little girl.

BROWN: We do. And she's brilliant.

O'BRIEN: How come that's not enough?

BROWN: Well, we're not her parents. She has two parents. Her moms are her parents. Her moms make the decisions for her.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Piper lives with us and we are doing the day-to-day parenting.

ALICIA SALZER, MOTHER: As much as Piper calls him "Daddy," when you are up at 3:00 in the morning, this kid has puked everywhere, and it's crying, and you have a child of your own, it's a whole other experience.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Having Piper made them want their own baby even more.

SPINO: We've been talking about having a family for a while and kind of trying to do it through Piper and -- or do we just really man up and, like, do it?

Do you remember what she looks like?

BROWN: f course I remember what she looks like.

O'BRIEN: A family to them meant having their own biological child. That means doctors, lawyers, and a whole lot of money. And women. Not one, but two women --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: If my grandmother were to know the entire situation, I think she would give up.

O'BRIEN: -- one to donate an egg, another to carry a baby.

SPINO: They are coming out of the gate right now.

BROWN: I'm nervous.

SPINO: I'm nervous, too.




BROWN: Her number is up.

SPINO: Do you remember what she looks like?

BROWN: Of course I remember what she looks like.

SPINO: Well, I only --

BROWN: She's a beautiful redhead.

SPINO: OK. It was a while ago. What if she died her hair?

BROWN: I think I'm more nervous about meeting her mom.

SPINO: Oh, totally. No, no, she's cool. I'm nervous about meeting her mom. What do we call her?

BROWN: "Mom?" I don't know. Oh, God.

SPINO: "Grandma."

BROWN: Oh, no. Let's not call her "grandma."

O'BRIEN (voice-over): A big day for Gary and Tony. They're picking up the mother of their future child.


SPINO: Hello. I'm Gary.

BROWN: It's so good to see you. You changed your hair!


BROWN: It looks beautiful.

O'BRIEN: An agency has located Holly (ph), a Florida woman, willing to sell her eggs for $8,000.

(on camera): You could adopt a child. There are plenty of children in this country who need adoption.

SPINO: I know part of it is ego. Whatever that is, that's been going on for however long man's been on the planet of seeing your own biological offspring.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Since Tony had donated the sperm for Piper, they agreed to use Gary's sperm and a donor chosen by Tony for their own baby.

BROWN: I wanted somebody who had my background, because it was going to be Gary's sperm. So, I wanted somebody who had green eyes, I wanted somebody who was Irish and Dutch. And that narrowed it down a lot.

O'BRIEN (on camera): Was it a big stack of women who were the egg donors?

BROWN: We went through probably more egg donors than surrogates looking.

O'BRIEN: Five, 10?

SPINO: And I wanted --

O'BRIEN: Fifteen?

BROWN: Fifteen, 20.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Gary and Tony picked Holly (ph). Her employer doesn't want her to use her last name because she's donating her eggs to a gay couple.

(on camera): Did it ever give you pause to be providing eggs for two men who clearly can't have a baby?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: My caseworker actually called me up and asked me two or three times in the same conversation, "Are you sure you don't mind working with a homosexual couple?" And I was confused by the question. I'm like, why would that bother me?

They need eggs, I've got eggs. They deserve to have a family like anybody else.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): For Gary and Tony, this is more than a financial transaction.

BROWN: I know a lot of people in your position don't want to, you know, have any kind of contact or relationship, or whatever, and just the fact that you're open to it at all is --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I'm so glad that we're able to meet, and the fact that you're really wonderful people is just a big bonus.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are you ready for this?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I think so. They've told me a bit about the procedure, so I'm not terribly worried. I just kind of want to get started and get it over with.

O'BRIEN: Holly's (ph) been taking fertility drugs to increase her egg production.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We'll get an I.V. started, and we're also going to bring you back into the procedure room. The embryologist will come in and they'll say, "Hi," they'll identify you.

O'BRIEN: Now her eggs will be extracted so they can be fertilized with Gary's sperm.

DR. MICHAEL B. DOYLE, CONNECTICUT FERTILITY ASSOCIATES: There's an egg. She's doing great. We're definitely retrieving eggs from all the follicles.

We're all finished.

BROWN: Hey. How are you?

DOYLE: Good.

BROWN: It's great to see you.

O'BRIEN: The doctor emerges with good news.

DOYLE: She did great. The procedure, we finished -- sit down. The egg retrieval went great. We got 14 eggs.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, we're going to go make a baby together. Kind of.

O'BRIEN: Gary and Tony have begun their journey to having a baby.

BROWN: Holly's (ph) always welcome.


BROWN: So she's never going to have to feel like she's being denied something. I think she gets that. I think she gets that she's giving us this incredible gift and it's pretty amazing.

O'BRIEN: But this isn't the only new woman in their lives. The law requires them to hire a different woman, a surrogate, to carry the baby. Three agencies in the country work with gay couples. The cost, $30,000.

(on camera): How have you been able to afford it?

BROWN: We had a guardian angel. SPINO: Raised how I was, and taking care of your elders, I've been kind of looking after women who were alone. And the last woman was named Jan McDeviden (ph). When she died, she left us some money.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): For Gary and Tony, the total cost could run as high as $160,000. Gary is the office manager for a doctor.

SPINO: The court has to wait 45 days for the final hearing.

O'BRIEN: Tony was an actor who became a civil rights lawyer. Without this gift, they could never have afforded a child. They are so grateful, they keep a picture of Jan in their living room.

SPINO: The two women that are doing really everything are really getting the least amount out of this big chunk of change.

O'BRIEN (on camera): And where does all the rest of the other money go?

BROWN: Medical fees, the fertility clinic, doctors' fees at the fertility clinic.

SPINO: Social workers, lawyers.

BROWN: Social workers, lawyers.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Now that there are fertilized eggs, the men have to choose a surrogate to carry the baby.

SPINO: The first person we looked at, I thought, oh, she sounds really good. And the next one we looked at, I thought, oh, she uses capital letters, that's probably better. But how do you really kind of judge her?

CINDY, SURROGATE MOTHER: It's kind of like a dating service. You fill out this forever-long personality profile of you and your family. Then we had to meet in person, so it was kind of like a blind date.

O'BRIEN: But can this woman survive the backlash in her own small town?

(on camera): They thought surrogacy was you having sex with other people?

CINDY: I've heard someone say, "That's sick. How could you prostitute your wife out for money?" And I was like, "OK, this conversation is over."




O'BRIEN (voice-over): They are the oddest of matches: a mother of two from the rural South, all tattoos and motorcycles, a gay couple fighting to change the world so it makes room for their family.

BROWN: I want our child to know that he's growing up in a world where, you know, his family may look different from other families, but his family is just as celebrated, just as real.

O'BRIEN: Now these disparate worlds have been matched by a surrogacy agency.

BROWN: It was clear from her profile that she was assuming she would be carrying for a heterosexual couple.

O'BRIEN: Cindy (ph) grew up in the rural South.

(on camera): What is this town like?

CINDY: It's small.

O'BRIEN: How far a drive to the next biggest town?

CINDY: Forty-five minutes.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): This would be her third pregnancy.

(on camera): Did either of you have any reservations about surrogacy for a gay couple?


JOHN, CINDY'S HUSBAND: I don't think that really even mattered to us at all.

CINDY: It didn't.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): She didn't want CNN to show her children or identify her town.

Cindy and John are not their real names.

(on camera): Are you worried about your safety?

CINDY: I'm not worried about my safety, so much as I worry about my relationship with people, because people judge.

O'BRIEN: Not a lot of gay men having babies here?

CINDY: I don't think there are any gay men with babies here. This is totally different than where they live. But I worry a lot about my family.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Gary and Tony also grew up in small towns. Their childhood memories are not so pleasant.

BROWN: This is where I went to school, right here.

O'BRIEN: For Tony, it was 1960s suburban Richmond, Virginia.

BROWN: Every desk in my school had "TBIG" carved or written. Every wall, "TBIG," "Tony Brown is Gay."

O'BRIEN: Tony's chief suspect, his football teammate, John Sheer (ph). John would eventually come out as gay, but back then he says he was one of 20 kids involved in teasing Tony.

JOHN SHEER (ph), FOOTBALL TEAMMATE: He was different, and difference was not encouraged. I think gay meant bad, gay meant something you didn't want to be.

BROWN: I was on the football team and I was on the track team. I had a girlfriend. And nothing seemed to work.

O'BRIEN: Tony's parents took him out of school.

BROWN: My parents came in and talked to the headmaster, and my dad was in the other room behind closed doors. But I think it was like the first time he realized something really serious had happened, and he was like, "How could this happen?"

O'BRIEN: His sister Debbie (ph) remembers how scared Tony was to tell his father he might be gay.

DEBBIE (ph), TONY'S SISTER: I so clearly remember how afraid Tony was to tell my dad. And I think that's one of the hardest things, is if you kind of feel like you can't really be who you are in front of everybody, and be yourself.

O'BRIEN: He was so upset, so unhappy, he tried to take his own life.

BROWN: I went in my mom and dad's medicine cabinet and grabbed a handful of pills. The doctor told them to keep me awake, just keep me up, walk me around. And so right back here, they just paced back and forth, back and forth, and held me up and kept me alive.

O'BRIEN: Central Pennsylvania was no more welcoming to young Gary Spino. His cousin Lisa remembers how cruelly he was treated in school.

LISA, GARY'S COUSIN: I remember them just calling him terrible names. He'd be walking through the hall, they'd take his books, pull all his books out of his hands.

O'BRIEN: Even his brother Michael joined the teasing.

MICHAEL, GARY'S BROTHER: Gary was picked on a lot. David and I picked on him. Jeez, he remembers all this like it was yesterday, I'm sure.

O'BRIEN: Gary still drives 350 miles once a month to take his mother to church.

SPINO: I Mean, I would love to go with you, mom. You know that. I always like spending that time with you.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes. I know. SPINO: But I don't feel safe in there anymore.

O'BRIEN: Gary and Tony stopped attending the church after hearing a sermon against gay marriage.

SPINO: I walked in with my mom and dad, I saw this pamphlet, "Join the Campaign to Save Marriage in Pennsylvania." Even now, it makes me -- I was so anxious, I thought I'm going to throw up. Maybe nothing will be said about.

And a priest launches into the sermon, and it was specifically about this. And I just thought, I have to get out of here.

O'BRIEN: Tony wrote letters to parishioners urging them to ignore the sermon.

BROWN: They had like a poster board that they had written, "Please take one." And so Gary took the poster board down and he ripped up, and he was just in tears.

O'BRIEN: Gary and Tony had come face to face with Catholicism's position that marriage is only between a man and a woman. Some members of Gary's parish responded this way: "Same-sex marriage should be banned forever." And, "Many people in our parish were turned off about your letter and are now writing their state representatives to make sure the ban on same-sex marriage becomes a reality."

BROWN: The mass ended. And I said, "Monsignor, you know Gary and me. You know us. You know that we're no threat to marriage. We're not the problem here."

O'BRIEN: Unlike the church, Gary's mother Mary accepts their marriage.

MARY, GARY'S MOTHER: Us living in a small town, kind of narrow- minded. They're not as open as they are in the big cities. It's just an everyday thing there.

O'BRIEN: Gary and Tony's world is quickly changing for the better. Cindy, their surrogate, feels the same way.

(on camera): In some ways, are you similar to Tony and Gary?

CINDY: Some ways.

O'BRIEN: How so?

CINDY: I think we all have the desire to change the world as it is, right now. Make it different, make it better.

Don't I look like a cafeteria lady?

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Cindy hopes to make Gary and Tony's world better with a baby, if she can get pregnant. They don't want to miss a moment, even if they have to join her by video conference.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: In just a few moments, about to transfer the two embryos --

CINDY: You're welcome! You all have fun. We'll see you in a little bit.

O'BRIEN: Gary's sperm and Holly's (ph) egg have made an embryo. A doctor implants the embryo in Cindy, hoping it will develop into a healthy fetus. If the procedure works, Gary and Tony could become just two of an estimated 1,000 gay men in the U.S. to become fathers using a surrogate.

DOYLE: It's Dr. Doyle.

O'BRIEN: Or will these two men and two women have to start this long process all over again?

BROWN: We're -- what's the news?




"Gary & Tony Have a Baby" continues in just a moment. First, this "360" bulletin.

The ban on deepwater drilling in the Gulf of Mexico is over, at least for now. A federal judge in New Orleans has ordered the Obama administration to begin accepting applications and issuing permits within 30 days.

For the latest on the disaster in the Gulf, stay tuned to CNN for "ANDERSON COOPER 360." That's at 10:00 p.m. Eastern.

General David Petraeus says he supports President Barack Obama's July 2011 deadline to start withdrawing U.S. troops from Afghanistan. He calls the circumstances surrounding General Stanley McChrystal's resignation "sad."

And that record-setting match at Wimbledon is finally over. American John Isner beat France's Nicolas Mahut 70-68 in the final set. The match lasted more than 11 hours and took three days, easily the longest tennis game on record.

We'll be back with more of "Gary & Tony Have a Baby" right after this quick break.

I'm Randi Kaye.




UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How are you doing?

BOYLE: Good. How are you?

TONY BROWN: We're, uh -- what's the news?


BOYLE: It's great news.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Gary and Tony find out Cindy is pregnant before she does. Parenthood is finally within reach.

BROWN: We did it.

GARY SPINO: We swam.

BROWN: You did it. You're fertile. Oh, my God.

Oh, please God, let this be a healthy baby.

O'BRIEN: Cindy had already suspected.

CINDY: Hello?

SPINO: Hey, there.

BROWN: Do you feel different? Do you feel like you're pregnant?

CINDY: Yes, which is why I e-mailed you the other day.

BROWN: You did.


CINDY: I keep thinking of all of you.

BROWN: All right, sweetheart. We love you. We'll talk to you soon.

CINDY: Mom asked me, she said, so what are they going to say when they call and tell you that you are, and I'm going to say, damn it. I said I want to say damn it. Now, I've got to put the beer bottle down.

O'BRIEN: Gary and Tony are dying to see what the baby looks like. They drive south for Cindy's three-month sonogram.

SPINO: I'm Tony.

KRISTI (ph): I'm Kristi (ph). Nice to meet you.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Nice to meet you.

O'BRIEN: They tell everyone they're having a baby.

BROWN: It's so funny this morning, why are you all here? SPINO: Yes.

BROWN: We're here to meet our baby for the first time.

SPINO: Even with the flight attendant (ph).

O'BRIEN: Cindy is starting to show, but she and her husband, John, don't want to share the news.

(on camera): Do people know you're having the baby for a gay couple?


O'BRIEN: Nobody does?

CINDY: No. Well --

JOHN: A couple friends.

CINDY: My mom and dad, a couple of really close friends.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Gary and Tony get their first look at the baby.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: See that heartbeat right there. And again, we've got little arms and legs. But that little flicker is the heartbeat.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, look, this other hand is going up.

BROWN: Oh, my God, he's totally waving at us.

SPINO: That's great. Thank you so much.


BROWN: Looks beautiful.

O'BRIEN: Cindy is certain she won't get attached to the baby growing inside of her.

CINDY: It's not the same as it was with my two kids. To me, it seems like I have a very good friend who's going to have a baby. It's like I'm an outsider looking in, really.

O'BRIEN: Gary and Tony are attached to her.

BROWN: We're open to us having a relationship with them after the child is born.

SPINO: That openness and availability and fun and love and family.

BROWN: That was a really important criteria for us.


SPINO: Oh, my God. It's so cool.

BROWN: I know. Just amazing.

SPINO: It really is.

O'BRIEN: They can't wait to share the news of the pregnancy.

BROWN: Back in New York, you know, we can tell our friends and family kind of easily about what's going on.

O'BRIEN: As Cindy's belly grows, she worries what her family will think.

CINDY: If my grandmother were to know the entire situation, I think she would give up. She would say, you know, I've outlived my welcome in this world, so I'll see you later.

O'BRIEN (on camera): The surrogacy, the gay couple --

CINDY: She cried about the surrogacy. She cried, she worried. But she had to deal with it. There was no way to hide that from her. And I think that the gay couple would push her over the edge. The fact of knowing that I still have close contact with them, she just might not be able to understand that. And I wouldn't want to do anything to cause her any pain.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The uterus is really just kind of one big muscle. There it is.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Gary and Tony are more worried about the baby growing inside of Cindy.

(on camera): Is there a downside? Has there been a downside to the agreement?

BROWN: There have been bumps in the road.

O'BRIEN: Like what?

SPINO: When we saw them drinking Mountain Dew, I was like, Mountain Dew is chock-full of sugar and caffeine.

BROWN: So we got them a fruit of the month club, to make sure they eat fresh fruit each month.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): These potential fathers can't control how Cindy lives her life.

CINDY: Sometimes we talk every week. Sometimes it was annoying. They read. And what I'm reading is, this is what's going on right now. I'm like, honey, this is not my first ball game. This is my third time around. Let me tell you what's going on. O'BRIEN (on camera): She says, when she felt you were being annoying, describing to her all the things from the book she should be going through, and she was like, I've had a couple of kids, boys, I kind of know how the show goes.

BROWN: We had to at least pretend like we were in control.

SPINO: Wait, she said we were being annoying?


SPINO: Oh, God.

O'BRIEN: I believe that's a quote, actually.

SPINO: Well, honey, we are kind of annoying sometimes.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): This all may seem funny right now, but the two men have no idea how much really is out of their control.

CINDY: We called them from the hospital, because I was being prepped for surgery. Emergency C-section and there was no time to play.




SOLEDAD O'BRIEN, CNN SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT (voice-over): There's a baby on the way and Gary and Tony need just about everything.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Nice to meet you too.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Thank you. Thank you so much.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I haven't been in here.

O'BRIEN: So they register for their baby shower.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is so exciting. All right. You're going to have a baby. How old?

BROWN: How old?


BROWN: It's --


SPINO: Oh, it's been born.

BROWN: It's not adoption. No, no, no, we're having it with our surrogate.

SPINO: Right. And so --

BROWN: So she's 38 weeks pregnant now.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, so she's really having your baby?



BROWN: Portable bassinet.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We'll need the boppy.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Boppy gets its own. Here's the scanner. So let's go.

BROWN: Gary, hold on.

This is what I was looking at that I like. We need a lesson in the bugaboo.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We've got two different kinds of bugaboos. This is the epi baby (ph). So it's a great feature.

BROWN: How much is this guy?


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Too many options.

BROWN: You could do his hair. We're going to need a Baby Bjorn. And it's going to be covered in vomit.


BROWN: That's what they call the boppy.

So their legs go through here and they're strapped in, right?


BROWN: I don't know the baby is going to fall right through.


SPINO: There's too much going on.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: OK, now we have a boppy.

BROWN: There it is. That's what we've been talking about all day.

O'BRIEN (on camera): Has it been stressful on your relationship?

SPINO: I would say, yes.

O'BRIEN: You're fighting?

SPINO: I find him yelling at me saying, don't yell.

BROWN: And I'm yelling right back.

O'BRIEN: That counts. Yelling.

BROWN: I'm a bit of a (INAUDIBLE) sometimes.

O'BRIEN: What are you fighting about?

SPINO: He wants things to look a certain way.

BROWN: Tidy.


O'BRIEN (voice-over): Then they go home to make their tiny, one- bedroom apartment big enough for two men and a baby.

SPINO: How do you want to start this?

BROWN: Just take everything out and then just put back what we are going to keep.

Are these recipes?

SPINO: I know.

Oh, my god. We haven't cooked in like 15 years.

So you don't have to walk over stuff.

BROWN: So we'll go through this box and debate.

SPINO: On these items.

BROWN: On certain items.

Oh, my god. We're not moving back in, no, no, no.

SPINO: Put this in the bin with all those, and that too. And these. There's only so much room.

BROWN: That's why I was going to give them to you, Gary.

SPINO: No. No, no. We don't have to worry about that right now. Let's just get everything out.

Is that it, then?

We've got to go through all this stuff.

BROWN: OK, put everything in the big thing over there. So how do you want me to do this?

SPINO: Whatever makes you happy?

BROWN: Are you texting?


BROWN: We've got work to do.


Uh-oh, I hung up on her. Are you there?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, I'm here. You want to know what it's going to be, right?

BROWN: I want to know, I want to know. Janelle is a boy.

BROWN: Whoo-hoo!


BROWN: Oh, that's great news.

SPINO: That is so cool.

O'BRIEN: Their baby boy is three months away. But a judge is about to challenge Gary and Tony's nontraditional choice for having their baby.

BROWN: They said, yes, we have to do a pre-birth order. We have an attorney for you down there and once we talk to the attorney, the attorney said all of the parties had to be present. And that really shocked us.

O'BRIEN (on camera): Drama for everybody.

BROWN: Yes, it is.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Since the baby is being carried by a surrogate, a judge is forcing Gary to take Cindy, John, and Holly, the egg donor, to court to give up their rights to the baby.

(on camera): What is it like to sue the couple who's doing all this for you?

BROWN: Ironic.


BROWN: I mean it's --

O'BRIEN: Was it strange? It was a friendly suit, but it's still a suit.

BROWN: Yes. SPINO: Yes, it seemed like a procedural thing, paperwork, signed, T's crossed, I's dotted. Just paperwork you had to do. But when it had those words in it, whoa, that's --


SPINO: Not very friendly.

BROWN: Yes, it was strong.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): As they go in, Cindy tries to cut the tension with reassuring words.

CINDY: I hope that who he belongs to they're still going home with him.

O'BRIEN: Minutes later, Gary is declared the baby's only parent.

BROWN: What happened today is a very strong thing.

O'BRIEN (on camera): This is a milestone today.


O'BRIEN: Does it feel like it?



O'BRIEN (voice-over): This is also the first time that Holly is seeing Cindy carrying her biological child.

(on camera): That's your baby. Is it strange? It's got to be a little strange?

HOLLY: I think when I'm going to have a pause is when I see the baby for the first time and I'm just wondering what happens when I see that family resemblance and I say, oh, my gosh, that's my chin, or that's my nose. How am I going to feel about that?

BROWN: The family is altogether.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: My dad's about to have a baby shower.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Gary and Tony celebrate their legal victory with a baby shower, joining together their family and their extended family.

BROWN: That's Krista, my friend, Krista. That's my sister, Debbie.


BROWN: My sister, Dory.


BROWN: Cynthia, Barbara and Leslie, Piper's mom.


BROWN: The gangs all here.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Thank you so much for coming. We're so glad that everybody's here today to shower Tony and Gary with love.

O'BRIEN: The party is thrown by Alicia and Leslie and Piper, Tony's biological daughter.

BROWN: I really like the heart on the sleeve.

Just want to thank all of you so much and a very, very special thank you to you, Piper, and to Alicia and to Leslie. You guys showed us how to be dads. And we thank you and love you so much.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The next event is called "name that baby food."

BROWN: Peas.

SPINO: Carrots.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Each dad will change his diaper in 10 seconds or less.

BROWN: Gary, you have really got to work on your diaper technique.

O'BRIEN: The shower hasn't come a minute too soon. Because what Gary and Tony don't know is that the baby is ready to make his debut.

SPINO: It's about 5:30ish. I thought it was a prank phone call quite honestly. A woman's voice said, are you ready to have a baby? And then I said, who is this?

BROWN: Oh, my God, it's happening right now.

Her water broke and that she dilated a little bit, so it's starting. Let me go get the car.

BROWN: I'm freaking out.

Oh, my God.




SOLEDAD O'BRIEN, CNN SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT (voice-over): At long last, their baby is coming. CINDY: When I stood up from the bed, my water broke. I was like, oh, dear Lord. We can't do this yet.

BROWN: Oh, my God.

SPINO: I thought it was a prank phone call because a woman's voice said, are you ready to have a baby? And then I said, who is this?

BROWN: We have everything, pretty much.

We may not get much sleep.


CINDY: We called them from the hospital and I was being prepped for surgery, emergency C-section. And my mom finally got them.

BROWN: We're going to be there in about 9 1/2 hours.

CINDY: And they started the routine, the flipping out again.

BROWN: We're coming down for our baby's birth.

SPINO: Oh, my God.

O'BRIEN: Gary and Tony race south to the hospital.

BROWN: We're off and running.

Counting every mile.

SPINO: I wanted to see his first moments.

O'BRIEN: By the time they arrive, they've missed the birth.

BROWN: Hey, Gary, I love you.

SPINO: I love you too.

BROWN: Are you all right?



SPINO: Ready?


SPINO: Oh, my God, is that him? He's so little. I've got a baby. Oh, my God. He's so tiny. Should we wash our hands or something?

BROWN: Oh, my God.

O'BRIEN: Nicholas Christian Brown Spino has arrived.

BROWN: Hey, little guy.

SPINO: Oh, a little spit-up there.

O'BRIEN: And he's already spitting up.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That's normal for a C-section baby.

BROWN: Hi, baby.

All right, sweetheart, it is time to meet your daddy. Hey.

SPINO: Welcome to the world.

O'BRIEN: Down the hall, Cindy has mixed feelings.

CINDY: I got to spend hours with him before they got there. He was in the nursery and I was -- I just said, you know, just bring him in here. He should still be with me. So I got to spend some time with him and it was nice.

O'BRIEN (on camera): Is it hard to be a surrogate and let the baby that's promised to somebody else go?

CINDY: A little bit. A little bit.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Nicholas is the last baby Cindy will ever have.

CINDY: They said, you can't have anymore, because if you get pregnant the fourth time, it could be your life. So make that decision. So I'm done.

O'BRIEN (on camera): Does that make you even more attached to Nicholas?

CINDY: A little bit.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is your chariot.

SPINO: We just had a very, a very emotional goodbye. You know, how do you say thank you to somebody who has your baby, that gives you your future, that changes your life?

Oh, my God. This is your first outside. It's a great big world out here.

O'BRIEN: Days later, Gary and Tony take baby Nicholas on a whirlwind family tour.

SPINO: Mommy, Mimi (ph), meet Nicholas.

I think we got the best present this year.

MARY, GARY'S MOM: Oh, he's beautiful. Oh, that's a nice big yell.

O'BRIEN: Gary's mom, Mary.

MARY: Oh, I was thrilled. Because Nicholas is the first Spino on our side of the family. I have the three little granddaughters, so he's the first Spino from our family.

MARY: That's you, Gary. That's you.

O'BRIEN: Gary's brother, Michael, worries about the future.

MICHAEL, GARY'S BROTHER: I think the concern with two men having a child might come into play once Nicholas is in school. You really can't control what other kids might say or do and that's always the toughest thing on a kid is peer pressure.


Look at that sweet thing.

BROWN: Oh, mama, look what we did.

PAT BROWN, TONY'S MOM: I'm so happy for you, Tony.

O'BRIEN: Then Nicholas meets Tony's mom, Pat, and his sisters, Dory and Debbie. They're happy to see him, but think he's safer living in New York.

DORY, TONY'S SISTER: I think if they lived where I lived, it would be not as accepted.

P. BROWN: Hey. Oh, he's sucking like crazy.

Well, you have a lot of people that are not as well educated, and they just don't feel the same way. And you can't make them. You can't change their mind. Oh, gosh, this is so sweet.

O'BRIEN: Meanwhile, Cindy finds herself more attached than she'd ever expected to the little boy who grew inside her.

(on camera): Did you ever think about saying, wait, and changing your mind?

CINDY: Yes. Yes.

O'BRIEN: But you didn't. Why not?

CINDY: He wasn't mine. Biologically, he wasn't mine.

CINDY: I got this one from him.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): She receives postcards from the baby and his daddies.

CINDY: My dads told me to tell you all that they love you a lot. Love you.

O'BRIEN: It makes her miss Nicholas even more.

CINDY: I think about him at least once every day. But I know he's taken care of. So I don't have to worry about him, I just miss him.

O'BRIEN: Holly, the egg donor, visits her biological son.

HOLLY: Oh, yes. I was nervous, actually. Tony said, he looks just like Gary. I'm like, yes, that's my nose. So it was a moment of recognition, but it was always, this is Gary and Tony's baby. We had a connection, but it was a good, you know, very close involved aunt kind of connection. So I'm glad about that.

O'BRIEN: Holly will tell her own son that Nicholas is his cousin.

Gary and Tony have settled into life as two dads.

BROWN: Very good.

I think that may be the one thing that I didn't anticipate, that our relationship would be stronger because of Nicholas.

O'BRIEN: Yet Tony still has no legal relationship to either Gary or his new baby.

BROWN: Oh, here comes roll call.

O'BRIEN: Tony holds Nicholas as he watches New York's legislature vote on whether to allow gay couples to marry.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: In 31 states of the nation, the people have rejected.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Announce the results.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Ayes, 24, nays, 38.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The bill has lost.

BROWN: Here's the little guy. Here he is, right here.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Please welcome Tony, Gary, and Nicholas.

O'BRIEN: As a family, Gary and Tony take Nicholas to his first protest.

BROWN: And one day my son and my husband and I will live in a state that will honor our marriage. Thank you. Thank you for being here tonight.

CINDY: But I think sometimes they get caught up in the political world and sometimes I worry about his safety, because they are very sensitive people, but they don't have the mother instinct. O'BRIEN (on camera): She says she worries about your son's safety.

BROWN: How so?

O'BRIEN: About people who have an issue with gay couples.

BROWN: We can't live our lives in fear of what a crazy person is going to do. We wouldn't leave the house.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Cindy is using the money she was paid as a surrogate to move on. She's finished college and bought a motorcycle.

CINDY: It's so fun.

This is the chair that the clients will be sitting on.

O'BRIEN: She's opened a tattoo parlor with her husband.

(on camera): Now you've got a tattoo parlor and a bike that sounds like a Harley hog.


O'BRIEN: It feels to me like there's a certain amount of freedom. How does that link to having Nicholas?

CINDY: I think it's a certain amount of freedom, but also, I think, if I stop, if I slow down, depression might hit.

BROWN: It's your big day, buddy. You get to be adopted today. You look so nice. Look at you.

O'BRIEN (voice-over): Gary and Tony go to court so Tony can legally adopt Nicholas.

BROWN: After today, there's no fear.

How are you?

O'BRIEN: The adoption makes Gary and Tony both legal parents of baby Nicholas, though they have no legal relationship to each other, in the eyes of the government.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Do you, Anthony and Gary, hereby agree to adopt Nicholas, to treat Nicholas in all respects as your own lawful child, to incur and fulfill all the responsibility of parents with regard to Nicholas?

BROWN: Oh, yes.

SPINO: We do.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Then it is my great pleasure to make you legal.


O'BRIEN: Now, Tony is papa. Gary is daddy. And when they look at this healthy, thriving baby boy, Nicholas Christian Brown Spino, they see family.

BROWN: We're a family. I mean, it was just beyond my wildest dreams.

You are the cutest little boy I know. And you make me happy and you make me sing, you ask me, I will do anything for you. You're even cute when you spit up. Good job.