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PIERS MORGAN TONIGHT
Aired February 14, 2011 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
PIERS MORGAN, HOST: Tonight reality TV stars on their lives and their loves. And talking of love, we've got Bravo's new love guru, Donny Deutsch.
DONNY DEUTSCH, HOST, BRAVO TV'S "LOVE CALLING": I'm ready to give some relationship advice. Piers called my special hotline. He knows he needs all the help he can get in this area. We're here to help some women out there.
MORGAN: Married twice, divorced twice, what the hell does he know about it?
DEUTSCH: Just because a marriage doesn't last forever doesn't mean it's a failure.
MORGAN: And more importantly, what can he do to help the Atlanta housewives with their own turbulent love lives.
NENE LEAKES, "THE REAL WIVES OF ATLANTA": It's just been very difficult to break up.
MORGAN: NeNe Leakes.
LEAKES: You know I have a huge secret admirer. Do you have a secret admirer, Piers?
MORGAN: Phaedra Parks.
PHAEDRA PARKS, THE REAL WIVES OF ATLANTA": I'm a wife, I'm a mother and an attorney. So who has time for romance?
MORGAN: Kandi Burruss.
KANDI BURRUSS, "THE REAL WIVES OF ATLANTA": A lot of my songs are about love, but my real love life is a lot more complicated.
MORGAN: We'll take your questions by phone or via Skype. This is a special Valentine's Day edition of PIERS MORGAN TONIGHT.
Donny Deutsch, you've been married and divorced twice, what do you think gives you the possible right to now put yourself up there as Mr. Love Guru expert to the nation's women?
DEUTSCH: Jump right into it. Don't waste any time. No, what -- that is my (INAUDIBLE). That I like most men are flawed. You know the mistake that women make is they go to their girlfriends for advice. Go to a guy, married and divorced twice, loves women, three great daughters. Most of my business partners have been women. I've certainly made my share of mistakes. But I will give you the real advice. And as a marker, I saw that huge space on television. We have doctors, you know, but nobody is doing this. And I found I was doing my everyday life --
MORGAN: There may be a reason, Donny, that no man has made a success out of advising women about how to deal with men like you.
DEUTSCH: No. Nobody has done it before. Nobody has done it before and that's the exact -- it's inside the criminal mind. I mean it did. It is -- those who can do, those who can't teach, whatever you wanted, what it is, I will -- I'm going to give them the real truth.
MORGAN: Are you (INAUDIBLE) turned game keeper? Are you reformed character?
DEUTSCH: Yes. Yes.
MORGAN: Or are you still talking from a position of --
DEUTSCH: You know being a dad changed me. There's no question about it. You have three girls, you have two little ones at home, it changes you. And so I think part of this is --
MORGAN: Why not? One of them is 24 years old?
DEUTSCH: And the other ones are 3 and 7.
MORGAN: You just changed or?
DEUTSCH: I think that it's a combination of age, it's a combination of mistakes. And so you kind of learn. But I actually -- this is actually women's advocacy show. This is actually -- it's interesting, I wouldn't say a (INAUDIBLE) pro-women show, but it's kind of like taking the mask off the boys club. So whether it's I'm trying to make up for my own mistakes in the past, or just wanting to help women and loving women. But it's very real and very authentic. It really is.
MORGAN: Are you genuinely a romantic man, do you think? Are men romantic really?
DEUTSCH: I don't think men by nature are what I call romantic. And so most women even want men to be like -- so many of the things that women think they want from men, I don't know if they really do. The very things they complain about are some of the stuff that are more traditionally manly like I want my man to talk more about his feelings.
Do you really want that? I guess -- I don't mean you.
MORGAN: Tonight is Valentine's Day, for example.
DEUTSCH: Yes. OK.
MORGAN: I've always found it horrific.
MORGAN: That -- this sort of building pressure.
MORGAN: To be romantic at a given appointed hour.
MORGAN: Is for most men on earth hell on earth.
DEUTSCH: Right. It's terrible. It's you have to -- you have to do what unnatural and think about, OK, for this night, I am extra special romantic whether you're feeling it or not.
And look, you do what you've got to do. But most men -- once again I don't -- shoot the messenger - are doing it because they kind of have to do it. Doesn't mean they don't love their spouses, doesn't mean they don't love their girlfriends. But I don't think most men would choose to say, I'm going to take a designated night and come up with the flowers and come up with this, and come up -- they do it because they love their women. But I don't think it's in most men.
MORGAN: What I do, I ended up getting marries last summer to a women who hates --
MORGAN: She hates flowers, chocolates, Valentine's Day and jewelry.
MORGAN: -- to be the perfect woman.
DEUTSCH: Does she like football?
MORGAN: She loves football.
DEUTSCH: OK. There you go. There you go. But it is -- I have found most women over the years, they like that stuff, but they really value what I call the more important stuff. You know, are you plugged into them? Do you really care about their needs? Are you sensitive to them?
They know what's ceremonial, and you kind of got to do it. But to most women I think they understand that flowers and chocolates are ceremonial. It's the real stuff that counts.
MORGAN: But there are women watching this, Donny.
DEUTSCH: Yes, they are.
MORGAN: They would think --
DEUTSCH: This is not going to be any date by the way.
MORGAN: Small, powerful, funny guy, we know what he's doing. He's setting up a secret closet dating agency. He wants all the hot women to ring up and go, Donny, tell me the answer to my problems. And he'll say, I'm here for you.
DEUTSCH: That's -- you know, in advertising, we have what we call the business objective. That's the sub-objective, it's not the lead objective. But no, I have -- I actually find women more interesting than men. I actually -- in one of my books I wrote a chapter called "The Female Superiority Doctrine."
If you give me a man and a woman of the same talent, I would take the woman every time.
DEUTSCH: Here's why. If you watch a Saturday morning TV commercial for a little boys or girls game. If you watch a girls' game, it's always three or four girls playing around a table collaboratively. They're giggling. If you watch a commercial for a little boy's game, at the end of the commercial, a boy goes, I won.
We are the -- we are -- we care much more about how big our offices and the emotional gets women, want to be paid fairly, they want to work collaboratively, and I think of the equal talent, I will take the woman every time.
So I think women are more interesting. I think they're smarter and I think they're less concerned with showing off and all the big stuff than we are.
MORGAN: See, when I hear you come up with all this stuff --
DEUTSCH: You say, Donny, you just want a date. And this is why you're just saying --
MORGAN: No, I don't actually. I actually think -- I think part of this is just all guff. This is Donny Deutsch, one of the most brilliant, ruthless advertiser of the generation.
DEUTSCH: Thank you. Thank you.
MORGAN: I went to your house the other day, it's like a palace.
DEUTSCH: Thank you. MORGAN: You've made hundreds of millions of dollars.
DEUTSCH: Very proud of that, yes.
MORGAN: Out of this being sort of relentless machine killing people. Now you want me to think there's a little heart inside softy Donny.
DEUTSCH: Kidding aside, there's always been heart.
MORGAN: I love women, I love romance, I love love.
DEUTSCH: First of all, I don't think you can be successful in business if you're not a fine human being. I think the ruthless world is misunderstood.
MORGAN: Are you a fine human being?
DEUTSCH: I'm flawed but I think very funny.
MORGAN: What are the flaws?
DEUTSCH: The flaws --
DEUTSCH: Do we have an hour?
MORGAN: Yes. Maybe.
DEUTSCH: I think the flaws are I'm impatient. I think the flaws -- I candidly, ironically, I haven't got -- I think I have been a great dad, a great boss, a great friend. I still have not been the great husband yet.
DEUTSCH: Maybe because where I was in my career, I think the third time will be the charm for me. I think a lot of the women throughout my life have said oh, if you could only show me the same passionate attention you show your business, and they were right when I young.
MORGAN: When you say third time, are you dropping --
DEUTSCH: No, no, we're not getting married. Again --
MORGAN: When for the third time, you're implying that maybe that's --
DEUTSCH: No, there's nothing pending, but I'm sure I will at some point. So I --
MORGAN: You think you will get remarried again? DEUTSCH: I think so. Yes.
MORGAN: Third time?
DEUTSCH: Yes. Charm. You've been married twice, right?
DEUTSCH: Breaking pause. Two guys just trying to get it right.
MORGAN: But my predecessor Larry, he's been married eight times.
MORGAN: We're beginners on the marriage run.
DEUTSCH: And it's interesting. Both the women --
MORGAN: Why do you think your marriages fail? When you look back on it, what have you learned?
DEUTSCH: I was married to two great women. I think people get married at different stages of their life that maybe they're -- they don't sync up. Their needs don't sync up. And they're two wonderful women and I just think we may be weren't the right time, weren't the right space.
It doesn't mean -- it's interestingly enough. Just because a marriage doesn't last forever, doesn't mean it's a failure. Especially if it's a marriage for our children. You know not everything is meant to be forever and I can show you marriages that lasted forever and they were sucky marriages.
You know it's interesting, I also say to people, some of the advice I give to people that a lot of times people stay together for the kids. First healthiest choice is two parents living together at home with kids happy. Second best choice is two parents happy living separately for the kids. Worst choice, two miserable parents staying together for the kids. That's bad for everybody. So you don't -- I lost my train of thought.
MORGAN: It's quite interesting because what I have seen you say before about this is you think there should be in effect a view of marriage that's like a business, like a five-year review plan. At the end of five years, you sit down with your wife or your husband and you go over how things have gone.
MORGAN: And you ask yourselves together, should we renew this contract, this business arrangement we have? DEUTSCH: I must say (INAUDIBLE), but I do think like in anything, in a business relationship, in a friendship, in any type of a partnership, it's not unconditional. And I think that you don't want to have a safety clause every five years because that's going to almost sometimes obligate people out. But I think -- there should always be reflection points.
Not that, you know, obviously it's until death do us part, but there shouldn't be this we're in it no matter what happens because then I think that maybe allows for bad behavior. And I think if both people know there's a built-in check and balance, maybe it forces them to last.
MORGAN: There'll be people watching this who are very happily married.
MORGAN: Who've never fallen into the temptations of flesh.
MORGAN: In a way that perhaps you have --
DEUTSCH: Exactly say that. When you have the British accent, you could say that and it actually sounds somewhat romantic. If I said it, it would be tawdry and guttural.
MORGAN: But I've been instituted (ph) by your views as you've launched on your show about someone like Jesse James.
MORGAN: Who you say is a complete rat bag.
MORGAN: I mean, would your ex-wives listen to that and laugh a little bit?
DEUTSCH: You're not going to tell me you have them on the line calling, are you?
DEUTSCH: This is a poor --
MORGAN: But isn't one man's (INAUDIBLE), another man's whole distresses eye whose marriage didn't quite work out.
DEUTSCH: I think my ex-wives would say it didn't work out. He's a good human being, it didn't work out, and I was not perfect in those marriages. And -- so, but I'm sure they --
MORGAN: How bad a boy were you?
DEUTSCH: I was -- you know what? I'm -- I was not perfect. I will be a great husband when I finally get it right. OK?
MORGAN: Do you believe that?
DEUTSCH: Yes. Absolutely.
MORGAN: Do you believe that (INAUDIBLE) change their spots?
DEUTSCH: Yes. I think we grow. I don't -- I think we evolve. Let me ask you a question. As a father now, let's say I know you've got three kids and they're older, and I'm sure you were a great father. But I have a feeling if you had a little one at home now, you might even be a better father because everything you've learned in the perspective that you have and the experience you have. And you're comfortable in your own skin.
So I think that we're all kind of growing. And I do think absolutely. So it's -- I think that's the one thing I have -- I got right. And I think my credential on my show is because I have made mistakes. And I am a guy and most guys do make mistakes. But I care and I love, and I have a big heart. And that's the premise.
MORGAN: Are women taking this seriously so far?
DEUTSCH: Yes. It's -- I was walking through your newsroom, it's amazing. Five of the different -- these are serious producers. On the show, can I ask you? Because they understand, they wish they had a guy best friend.
MORGAN: Are you telling me my own staff --
MORGAN: -- are believing you're some sort of love guru?
DEUTSCH: Yes. One of your senior people pulled me aside and said, you know, I'm -- you know I'm not going to name names, I'm in my 40s, I love my job, I can't find the right guy. I had to cancel on this. Because they understand that my perspective is valuable. Not another girlfriend, not a shrink. But a guy who then my day, who might be their big brother, their best friend. So I'm not going to say here's the prescription, but I'm going to say, hey, maybe if you try this, or maybe he's doing this because of this. Or maybe you should think about that.
And I was always doing that, my life, with all the women over the years I work with, my oldest friend is a woman. So it's actually a really smart thing and a very genuine thing. It really is. The camera doesn't lie and I actually think I'm better equipped to do this than anything else I have done.
MORGAN: We're going to bring on some ladies in a moment --
DEUTSCH: OK. MORGAN: -- from the Atlanta housewives.
MORGAN: I'm also going to take calls on Skype and the phone from random women who want to talk to the love guru.
MORGAN: And --
DEUTSCH: Actually you can do this -- what can you say? Wouldn't you be good at this, you're a guy who's a great guy.
MORGAN: I think I would be hopeless.
DEUTSCH: No, you wouldn't, because you get it.
MORGAN: No, I won't.
DEUTSCH: You get. You're older -- you're a guy .
MORGAN: My advice --
DEUTSCH: I know you, you're kind. You've been kind of a little bit of a lovable role.
MORGAN: No, but like the Brits say, all Brits are the same. When it comes to matters of heart and romance and stuff, we basically of the get-over-it cap.
DEUTSCH: And you refer to things as what?
MORGAN: Yes, it's like, just get over right.
DEUTSCH: OK. But --
MORGAN: Worst things happen (INAUDIBLE).
DEUTSCH: If you had a girlfriend that you came to and said, Piers, my guy took me out twice and he's saying this, what does it mean, you would be equipped to not only tell her what it means but how to handle it. Now if you were a guy --
MORGAN: I'd be quite blunt.
DEUTSCH: Yes, you would.
MORGAN: I think I'd overanalyze, overtalk.
DEUTSCH: But in a caring way. Had you been a guy maybe who had been in one marriage for 50 years, hadn't been around, you'd go, I don't know. So you have the credential I have actually. MORGAN: OK. When we come back, I'm going to ask you, Donny, about business, politics, power, and money and your advice for America.
MORGAN: Back now with Donny Deutsch, the host of Bravo TV's "Love Calling."
Donny, let's put you into a position of your day job, if you like. When you're not being a love guru, you're a very powerful --
DEUTSCH: You can't say that with a straight face, can you?
MORGAN: I can't really. No. But I might be getting away with it.
You know you are a very successful advertising man. You're the original sort of modern day mad man, if you like. Made several hundred million dollars selling a business.
DEUTSCH: You said that twice. You're jealous about that.
MORGAN: I am jealous about it.
MORGAN: You're a good looking guy.
DEUTSCH: Thank you. You're a handsome man also.
MORGAN: You're a love guru and you've got hundreds of millions of dollars. And you've got a massive house. I hate you.
DEUTSCH: It's OK.
MORGAN: Let's move on.
DEUTSCH: You got the big show, though. OK?
DEUTSCH: All right.
DEUTSCH: Everybody's got something, right?
MORGAN: As a powerful ad man, you know, one of the top executives in New York and you've seen how America has gone through a very tough period. Treat America as America incorporated for a moment for me. Imagine you've just been put in charge of this. What would you do to get America back on its feet?
DEUTSCH: I think what I would do, and I know this is not going to be a popular answer. I think I would get America with any brand to really understand their brand right now. And they have to understand, we have to understand, that although we are a great power, probably still the greatest power, we cannot dominate the world anymore.
You know there is this part of America that is, we are America, we can conquer all. We can't be the schoolyard boy anymore. We're not -- we are a different part of our life curve. I mean we're headed more in the direction of whether you caves, which is going to be always going to be critical in this world, but with the emerge of China, a lot of our problems today are the function of we are a bit of a bloated empire.
And we are not who we were. We're still a great nation, the greatest nation, but where we fit in the world, we're going to have to learn to play in the schoolyard a little differently. And I think if we have that self-awareness we're going to be a more effective brand in the world. And I think our president, much to the chagrin of a lot of people, understands that.
MORGAN: I think he knows, too. We had Donald Trump on last week who vehemently anti doing anything with China.
MORGAN: He thinks they're the enemy. They're going to come on rape and pillage America with its possessions. And what's your view of the two diametrically opposed opinions? Because I suspect the truth lies, as always, somewhere in the middle where China isn't clearly going to be the best friend of America.
MORGAN: But isn't the answer really to do business with them?
DEUTSCH: Well, if you look at the history of the world there needs to be a check and balance. The world works best when there's kind of a ying and a yang watching over each other. So the answer is, we have to have our eyes, wide open. This is -- it is a zero of some game for some degree.
We have to understand that they're not necessarily the enemy but there is as some game point of view. Having said, we've learned we need to co-exist and play nicely with them. For lack of a better. To just say they're the enemy, we can't -- it's ridiculous. And Donald is a smart businessman. He knows better than that.
Having said that, we've got to understand those are the guys that in certain ways can hurt us. They're really the only guys that can -- I mean obviously are crazy people in the world. So it's that peaceful co-existence, I always say, over a used set of words but that's the reality.
MORGAN: Within two years, America will go to the polls again and Obama's ratings right now pretty good. But the Sarah Palin lurking in the background, who -- I would imagine from an ad point of view, from a marketing point of view is a dream.
MORGAN: She's incredibly famous, she's quite sexy, she's dynamic, she's energetic and she does social media better than anybody else in politics. And she's certainly a threat. What is your assessment of her as a potential challenger to the White House?
DEUTSCH: She's unelectable. Let's distinguish what she is versus a great political candidate versus a fascinating media critter. That's what she is. What -- the reason she is so compelling, I've said this takes a lot of gum (ph), this is the first attractive woman in power that this nation has ever seen.
We haven't seen that before. A woman that looks like that, that is physically appealing, that has a certain way and is also this powerful political figure. Men and women have had a fascinating hard time processing that. She is a fascinating media critter. She will never be electable in this -- the greatest thing that can happen to the Democrats is if she runs for office. Having said that, though, the Republicans are going to have to deal with her because she obviously has a power base. She is not electable.
She's a fascinating media character, but not a compelling political character.
MORGAN: But I've sat here with you 10 years ago and said we're going to have a very young African-American candidate come through and he's going to beat Hillary Clinton and become president.
MORGAN: You might have had the same answer.
DEUTSCH: No. Fifty years ago maybe I'd say no. If anything, the media, which is a great precursor we have, as we always see black presidents in movies and whatnot. The reason she's not electable is the electoral college, is that there are certain blue states that you have to carry that she will never carry.
Is there a chunk of this country that would elect her? Yes. New York will never elect her. California will never elect her. New Jersey will never elect her. Pennsylvania will never -- there were certain -- there are seven states that swing elections and some of those swing states right now she will never, ever, ever, win.
MORGAN: Is every brand rescuable?
DEUTSCH: No. Not everybody --
MORGAN: I mean, it's Lindsay Lohan right now, if you were able to rebrand her, you could rescue her?
DEUTSCH: She's waiting to happen. She's -- look, the second sexiest story in the world. Somebody on their way up, the first who's on her way down. She's already done that. She's an actress with chops. People are going to feel bad for her. The way to rescue her, very simply, obviously get her physically healthy. One great serious movie role.
And she has the fascination of America. I was waiting to come on here, they're lining up. They were lining up to do the latest story on what's happening since what happened with her with the necklace and whatnot. So she's fascinating. She has America's attention. She's a young woman, she can bring herself back. She's beyond rescuable. She's a great brand.
MORGAN: Who is not rescuable?
DEUTSCH: Somebody that commits a horrible act to children or somebody that murders, or someone -- we even saw Michael Vick, you know, who did an almost horrific, horrific thing, and what he did with these dogs. but here's a guy who paid his dues. He did his time and people genuinely felt there was remorse there. And right now he's this incredibly popular figure.
MORGAN: (INAUDIBLE), Donny, where, even O.J. can go through what he went through and to a certain degree, until his latest misdemeanor, actually a lot of people still liked it.
DEUTSCH: No. I think he was not rescuable. I mean will people really -- when he walks in an airport, will people stare at him? Will women still be drawn to him for some sick reason? Yes. But here's a guy who 95 percent of people, most people who are bright people think he really killed those poor people.
So no, that's not right. He's looked at as evil, he's looked at as horrible. Fascinating, yes. There's a separate, there's a difference between people that were drawn to and fascinated from a train wreck versus people who in any way, shape or form we would aspire to, who could sell a product or have any positive appeal to them.
MORGAN: You've got reasonably good looks. That's not exaggerating.
DEUTSCH: That's the second time you brought that up also.
MORGAN: I'm coming to two more things.
DEUTSCH: OK. OK.
MORGAN: You're rich and you've had --
DEUTSCH: Trying to say that.
MORGAN: And you've had power.
MORGAN: Which has been the biggest aphrodisiac to women?
DEUTSCH: Power, no question. You know power is -- rich -- wealth brings power. I'll answer this question because I'll get asked a lot. Sometimes. And you -- look, you're a guy, you're a very well- to-do guy. You have this great place now in the media world. So women are drawn to that.
And so people will say, well, Donnie, aren't you worried if a woman is with you she's with you because of your wealth and because of your stature? And I say, that's part of who you are. Women are drawn -- that's like -- that doesn't mean that they're not in love with me. And maybe if I was garbage man, they won't fall in with me. But they still love -- it's part of what makes a man appealing. Versus someone who has appeal. Gold digger, you got to watch out for that.
MORGAN: How --
DEUTSCH: That's life. That's reality.
MORGAN: How appealing do you think you are to women?
DEUTSCH: I think --
DEUTSCH: That's a great question. I think -- I think I have a decent appeal for these particular reasons, you've mentioned some of them. I think I'm a guy's guy and I think women like that. And I think I love women and I think it shows and I think I'm interesting and a little kind of have some jagged edges along the line, so I think that lovable bad boy thing, women like, you know that.
This is you, my friend, also.
MORGAN: Well, we're going to --
DEUTSCH: I mean it's very easy for you to kind of get into this stuff.
MORGAN: Well, I'm asking the question.
DEUTSCH: I'm feeling you're living through a little catharsis here yourself. I mean there's something going on here. And I want any control -- I want to play back how many times you said rich, handsome, powerful -- what were the other ones?
MORGAN: Rich, handsome, powerful and a big house.
MORGAN: We're going to test your theory.
MORGAN: About A, you're likeability as a loveable rogue. And also about your ability to be a love guru. When we come back, we have "The Real Housewives of Atlanta." NeNe Leakes.
DEUTSCH: Yes. MORGAN: Kandi Burruss and Phaedra Parks.
MORGAN: This Valentine's Day, we're talking about love. So I want to bring in the lovely ladies of Bravo's "Real Housewives of Atlanta."
NeNe Leakes, welcome.
MORGAN: Kandi Burruss, welcome. And Phaedra Parks, how are you?
PARKS: Hello, great, how are you?
MORGAN: Before we go any further, ladies, I want you to respond immediately to Donny's claims -- his two claims, really.
DEUTSCH: Already I'm dead.
MORGAN: Let me explain exactly what I think Donny's thinking is. One is that every woman loves a bad boy and secondly that the reason he should be trusted by women as a love guru expert now is precisely because he's been so bad in the past.
DEUTSCH: No so bad, lovingly bad. And not horribly bad.
MORGAN: He says lovingly, I suspect others would tell a different tale. What is your instant reaction?
LEAKES: I would have to say I do like a bit of a bad boy.
MORGAN: Do you know now?
LEAKES: Mm-hmm. I do.
BURRUSS: Yes. I think women do like bad boys.
MORGAN: Boy, this is going in the wrong way, too.
BURRUSS: I think -- I mean --
BURRUSS: Every woman, you know, like a man with a little edge to him.
BURRUSS: You know, but I feel that I'm a love guru myself.
MORGAN: So would you take advice? If you have -- you've all been going through different kinds of crises in your show. I'm going to come to you individually and get the guru to give you advice. And I'm going to ask others about what they think of the advice. But would you instinctively turn to a man who has been married and divorced twice and you know, boasts of being a lovable rogue.
Is he the kind of guy a woman would go to for genuine advice about her difficulties with a man?
LEAKES: I would think so. Because he's done it, he's been there, he can advice me. I would really take his advice, I would.
MORGAN: Would you?
BURRUSS: I'm not sure.
PARKS: I think so because I think experience is the best teacher.
BURRUSS: Yes, it is.
DEUTSCH: And the important thing --
MORGAN: Three more times. Unbelievable.
DEUTSCH: Somebody who really loves women also.
MORGAN: Would you look at him now, with this cheeky grin, the twinkle in the eye, and think I reckon he's about to settle down seriously?
DEUTSCH: I didn't say about to.
BURRUSS: He's a good looking man, he's rich.
DEUTSCH: Thank you. MORGAN: He's rich.
MORGAN: A big house.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.
MORGAN: Looking for a third wife. I mean --
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.
MORGAN: Ladies, we are ticking all the boxes here, aren't we?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.
DEUTSCH: But the interesting thing, and this is I think the point, I think what women are drawn to is men who are basically good. Hopefully you guys can look to me and say basically he's a good soul. But maybe I'm going to be one who's going to tame him a little bit. I'm going to be the one that --
LEAKES: I never think that.
DEUTSCH: You don't?
DEUTSCH: That's good, though. I think that's a good thing.
BURRUSS: But women always --
MORGAN: They're going to tame you.
DEUTSCH: They are going to be the ones who are going to get a guy to finally settle down.
BURRUSS: But that's my point.
BURRUSS: The whole thing for a woman, like we want to tame this guy, we really like you, we want to -- I'm going to lock him down. I'm going to lock him down. So if I'm going to ask you for advice, I want to know how do I finally lock you down. Nobody has locked you down, that's my point.
MORGAN: Let's get to the specifics here of the love guru and his advice.
NeNe, I want to start with you. You're married. You and your husband Greg have been going to quite a lot of turmoil that we've seen in the show. Bring me up to speed. Where are you currently with your marriage. LEAKES: We're separated.
MORGAN: Why? Are you going to get divorced, do you think?
LEAKES: It's possible.
MORGAN: Why has it come to this, do you think?
LEAKES: Just a lot of things that have happened in our marriage over the years. People have asked me, oh, are you divorcing him because of something that happened between him and Dwight? No.
I have been with him almost 14 years. And it's just things that have happened over the years. He's probably been a bit of Donnie Deutsch.
MORGAN: A bad boy?
LEAKES: He has been a bad boy, here and there, over the years. One of the things that I have a problem with, we don't have good communication. And I feel like communication is the key to a good relationship. What do you think?
MORGAN: Let's bring in the gurus. Here are the facts of Mimi's marriage. What would you say?
LEAKES: I don't think there should be any secrets. I'm very loyal to the man that I'm with. I want a man that's very loyal.
DEUTSCH: Before we go into communications, are you deeply in love with this man? Do you want to share the rest of your life with him?
LEAKES: I don't know.
DEUTSCH: OK, well, then maybe you shouldn't be married.
LEAKES: Well, I'm not asking about him. I'm just asking in general.
DEUTSCH: OK, what's -- if -- obviously communications is important. But it's what's important to you. To some people, a marriage -- maybe they're not the kinds of people that have to tell each other everything. So it's what's important to you. And if the answer is communication is usually important, well, then that's the answer.
MORGAN: Hang on, Mimi, you've got two boys, right? Bryce and Brent, right?
MORGAN: When you have kids -- you've got three kids -- how much more difficult is it to simply say this marriage is over, move on, when there are kids involved?
LEAKES: Very difficult.
DEUTSCH: It changes everything. The math -- you know, it's like there are lives at stake. And I think the answer is you have to give a marriage every single shot you can do. And you only end it when you say, there's no chance, and actually us staying together might not be good for the kids.
So -- but look, that's when you take every -- you bring in every professional help you can, because it's not just the two of you.
MORGAN: It's interesting to me -- here's the thing, you talked about your husband being a bit of a bad boy. Earlier, you were all laughing and joking saying, we love a bit of a bad boy. It's not quite so good if you're married to a bad boy, is it? Doesn't it eventually erode trust?
LEAKES: Yeah, it would. But I trusted him going into our relationship. I really did. I think we have had a good relationship. And going back to divorce, it's been the hardest thing I have had to do in my life. It's just been very difficult.
DEUTSCH: Of course. Look, other than death, it is the hardest thing.
MORGAN: Donnie, from what you have heard, what should she do?
MORGAN: From what you've heard, what should she do?
DEUTSCH: She should follow her heart. And I'm listening to her and it really sounds like she's out out of the marriage. Just listening to you, the way you responded to me when I asked you and said I don't know. The only thing I can say to you is if there's any chance for it to work, great. If not, understand five years from now you're not going to be feeling the way you do now.
Right now, all you're feeling is there's a dark hole there. The marriage hasn't worked the way you wanted. So you're comparing that to nothing. Let's say it doesn't work, fast forward, you fall in love with somebody else, and you're kids are great, it's going to feel very different. This is the hardest part now.
MORGAN: I think when it comes to further dating at the moment, that's where the second part of love guru comes into play. We can discuss this after the break.
When we come back, I'll be getting more -- come down, guru. I'll be getting more advice from the guru for these two ladies.
MORGAN: We're back now with the Atlanta Housewives, Mimi, Kandi and Phaedra. And of course Donnie Deutsch, the self-appointed love guru of Bravo's "Love Calling."
Kandi, let me turn to you now. You have had a very successful career, a Grammy award winning singer/songwriter. You're a single mom of a little daughter called Riley.
You have had a tough time. Your fiance died, which was obviously a very traumatic time for you. What would you describe your current situation like, in terms of men and romance, as we talk on Valentine's Day.
BURRUSS: Well, I'm single currently and of course I would love to date. But being that I am a mother and my daughter's eight years old, it's like I have to date with a thing in mind of he has to be good for me and my daughter. Because eventually if I really, really like him and we want to take things to the next level, then I want him to be somebody who can be great step dad material.
MORGAN: That completely changes the dating dynamic, doesn't it? Because every guy that you go out with, you're thinking would he be a good step dad?
BURRUSS: Exactly. And I know you're not really supposed to think too far ahead when you first meet somebody, but I don't believe in wasting a lot of time.
DEUTSCH: That's just being smart. That's price of entry. Your child is your life. And if date one there's a man who doesn't like kids or you -- run. It's not even a question of marrying him. That's like somebody who doesn't want to be with a black woman. That's not going to be right for you.
This is who you are. You're a mom. That's price of entry. That's it.
BURRUSS: Exactly. So we see eye to eye on that.
DEUTSCH: That's being a mom. That's like, sorry, you're out. That's who I am, you know?
MORGAN: So how is it going? Are you dating?
BURRUSS: It's cool, but I know you don't -- I don't know if you watch our show.
MORGAN: I have dabbled with your show.
BURRUSS: My mother, she's very opinionated as well. So when I meet men, it's like almost a weird situation where not only do they have to be right for me, they have to be right for my daughter and my mother. Because if not, she will give us hell.
MORGAN: Why do you think -- why have things not worked out with you and men before, do you think? If you are being self-critical, how much has been your fault and how much has been the guy's fault?
BURRUSS: It depends. It depends on the situation. Sometimes I get bored, you know. So if like she says, the conversation -- that we don't have great conversation all the time -- like I believe -- and I learned this from somebody who was married for many years. They say you have to have great communications, you know, finances in order, and great sex for a relationship to really work out.
MORGAN: Here's the key thing. I want to talk to the expert on all three of those areas, Mr. Deutsch. What do you think is the priority for a woman? Is it security and money? Is it friendship and communication? Or is it great sex?
DEUTSCH: I think it has something to do with where they are in their life curve, frankly. I think the older a woman -- and I have seen this with my contemporaries, that the older a woman gets, security and finance just become -- it's their lifeline.
I say to young people all the time -- I think women make this mistake. They say -- well, they'll meet a man; he'll be a great provider; he's a nice guy. But the passion isn't there.
You have to start with the crazy passion. Whether you're a man -- or I say this to young people. No matter who you're with, it's going to kind of fade a little bit, but at least you've got to be able to go back to it.
MORGAN: Is he right?
PARKS: Yes. Yes.
LEAKES: I would love to have attraction.
PARKS: Passion is everything.
MORGAN: Isn't passion key here, ladies?
PARKS: Yes, definitely.
DEUTSCH: You can't be like having this crazy sex with a guy who's a deadbeat and he's a bad guy. But if you don't have that, at some point in your life, you're going to go look for it somewhere else.
MORGAN: Phaedra, you're fascinating I think as far as the guru is concerned, because you're the most interesting specimen of all of my surgeries today, because you're happily married. Now this is an extraordinary turn of events which we weren't predicting. So how have you managed this? Why are you happily married, do you think?
PARKS: I guess because I'm committed to the marriage. I think that's the first key, is to be really committed to the institution of marriage. I respect my husband. And, you know, we have a mutual respect. And so if you're willing to work at anything, I think you'll be successful at it.
MORGAN: As someone whose respect for the institution of marriage has been rocky over the years --
DEUTSCH: I respect it but I think --
MORGAN: What do you think now when you hear that?
DEUTSCH: I think that's so brilliant, because you have a great business strategy about your marriage. What you said in very direct terms -- you didn't even go into the -- I love marriage. The business of marriage, the -- use the word institution, that's a goal of mine. That matters. I want that to work and I'm working towards that.
So it's like no different than somebody who says I want a successful career and I'm committed to that. I think it starts -- I think maybe in my case is -- why my marriages didn't work, I wasn't necessarily committed to the institution. There are people who get married and they do it. I think that's a great set of words that you use.
MORGAN: Ladies, let me bring this segment to an end by asking each of you very quickly -- you have heard the guru in action now. Should you go through further marital strife or trouble with a boyfriend, would you go to him for advice? Yes or no?
PARKS: Yes, I think I would.
MORGAN: Two not very enthusiastic yes.
DEUTSCH: They were yes.
LEAKES: I said yes in the beginning, so yes.
MORGAN: You've got three yes, love guru. When we come back after the break, we'll be taking some questions for everybody here by phone and Skype. I want to hear your love advice for our viewers when we come back.
MORGAN: We're back now with Donnie Deutsch, host of Bravo's "Love Calling," and the real housewives of Atlanta, Mimi, Kandi and Phaedra. We're going to take a call from Lauren in Washington, who has a question for the love guru.
DEUTSCH: How can we help you?
CALLER: Well, I have a question. I dated this guy for three years back in 2008, and we have had this on and off thing. But every couple of months, he sort of freaks out and starts ignoring me to the point where it all blows up and we end it.
So I don't know if I should just break it off with him completely or try and make it work.
DEUTSCH: How old are you guys, Lauren.
CALLER: I'm 24 and he's 30.
DEUTSCH: You know what? The definition of insanity is continuing the same behavior and expecting a different outcome. Do you want a guy who every two months freaks out? It's one thing if you broke up maybe once and got back. You don't need to ride that roller coaster.
You're a young woman. You have your whole life ahead of you. Why put up with it? By the way, if you allow it, you're basically encouraging the behavior. At the very least, end it. So teach him a lesson. If there's any chance it's going to work, he's got to know there's a cost of doing business.
MORGAN: By your definition then, whoever the lucky girl is who becomes the potential third Mrs. Deutsch will surely say, well, hang on, twice he's been through these marriages that don't work.
MORGAN: You're saying the familiar bad pattern never changes.
DEUTSCH: There's a difference between growing and evolving and learning life lessons, versus you're in relationship and the guy keeps going the same thing and he's going to keep doing the same thing.
MORGAN: So Lauren should get out of this relationship.
DEUTSCH: She should, at the very least, end it because that's the only chance of saving it. He's going to learn a lesson that he's not going to have that option of every two months thinking about it.
MORGAN: What's your view, Lauren?
CALLER: Now I think he's right. It's just hard because I do love him and I care about him a lot. And I know that he's expressed the same for me, that he loves me and cares.
So it's hard to break it off with somebody when they've told you one thing, but then they sort of act in a different way.
DEUTSCH: I know, Laura. But as I said, there are two great options. One option is to stay as it is and you're not happy. Option number two is teach him a lesson and maybe he will be different. Option number three is find greatness with somebody else.
MORGAN: OK, we're going to move on. Thank you, Lauren. We now go to Vanessa in New York, who also has a question for the guru. DEUTSCH: Hey, Vanessa.
CALLER: Hi, Donnie. How are you?
DEUTSCH: How can I help you, Vanessa?
CALLER: I was wondering what are your top tips for keeping your partner happy in a relationship?
DEUTSCH: It's interesting. In no particular order, number one, letting him know that you're there for him. It's not just like, all right, he's there for you also, but showing him in different ways, whether it's supporting what he does. Giving unexpected nurturing gives, if you will, number one.
Number two, continually try and surprise him sexually. Number -- no, I'm just --
MORGAN: Wait a minute, Mimi, isn't that a classic bad boy man's answer? Seriously.
DEUTSCH: I didn't say -- I said, keep -- I think a man's got to do it also, keep it fresh.
MORGAN: Ladies, you're not impressed by this? Or are you?
PARKS: Yes, I always feel like he's supposed to keep it new. You've got to keep it new.
DEUTSCH: The first thing I said is the most important. Make him feel special. Men, we are, as I said earlier in the show, the weaker sex. I mean that genuinely. Women are stronger and superior. I'm not saying prop him up all the time, but make him so he's your man.
LEAKES: The whole sex thing, I mean, all the time I need to try something new? Why don't he try something new?
DEUTSCH: I didn't say all the time try -- he should. I said try --
LEAKES: Same old size. Is it going to grow?
DEUTSCH: Love guru doesn't have an answer to that one.
MORGAN: I think you should be a love guru. When we come back, we'll have a question via Skype. (COMMERCIAL BREAK)
MORGAN: I'm back with the love guru, Donny Deutsch, and the Atlanta housewives. We have a call via Skype from Tracy in New York. What's your question?
CALLER: Hi, everyone. I actually have two questions. The first one is for the ladies. I have no plans for Valentine's Day, and I was hoping the ladies could give me some advice on where to find a rich man.
The second one is for Mimi. I want to know she like better, Piers or Anderson Cooper?
MORGAN: Oh, I love that question. Let's get that one out of the way first?
LEAKES: I love Anderson. I just saw him a few minutes ago. We've been --
MORGAN: Is there a but something.
LEAKES: I love you too, but I'm in love with Anderson.
LEAKES: I'm sorry.
MORGAN: Let's go to Valentine's Day. I want to know what each of you three are doing on Valentine's Day. Do you know what you're doing tonight?
PARKS: I'm not quite sure, but it will be something sexy and romantic with my husband.
MORGAN: Yeah. You'll be with your husband. Where will you be tonight?
BURRUSS: I'm not dating anybody, so I'll just be with myself.
MORGAN: Footloose and fancy free in New York?
MORGAN: Excellent. Well, I'm free in about 10 minutes. Mimi, what are you doing?
LEAKES: I'm free as a bird.
MORGAN: Really? Sounds like a good night. Donnie, you in?
DEUTSCH: I'm in. I think we got it hooked up.
MORGAN: Can I ask one thing about Valentine's Day, because here we on the -- for men, it's the most agonizing, pressurized day of the year. It's the day when a man has to be romantic. And woe betide him if his partner, wife, girlfriend is romantic, and he doesn't do the right thing. If the chocolates aren't right, the flowers don't turn up, if the candle lit dinner hasn't been organized.
Is it important? Why do women care? Why do you have to be romantic on this day?
PARKS: I think every woman wants to feel special. I think this is the one day that you should just feel like a queen.
MORGAN: So it's important to you?
PARKS: Yes, yes.
BURRUSS: It's important to me too. I love when a man actually plans things out.
MORGAN: For all three of you, this is a big day?
LEAKES: All the holidays are a big day to me.
MORGAN: And in answer to Tracy's question, where is she going to find a rich man? She's in New York, any advice?
PARKS: Well, she better walk Wall Street.
MORGAN: Wall Street? Any other offerings?
LEAKES: Where are you going to be?
DEUTSCH: One of you producers asked me the same question. The mistake women make is they will go to a chardonnay like -- go to a steak house. Go --
DEUTSCH: On a Wednesday night, go to a Manhattan steak house. It's all going to be all guys in suits, successful guys. Two women at a table are going to stand out there.
MORGAN: I think you're right. The men should come to you, shouldn't they?
LEAKES: I think they should find you.
DEUTSCH: No, wrong, you -- I'm not saying you're not wonderful. But --
LEAKES: I've had a serious rich man.
DEUTSCH: I'm not saying -- but by the way, a man should approach you, but why not put yourself in as many positions where more men will approach you and you have a better choice that's going to work for you.
MORGAN: How important is money? Could you go out with a poor guy?
MORGAN: Could you? Be honest. Even your dress looks sort of a million dollars.
BURRUSS: Well, actually, I had this made for a clothing line.
MORGAN: Could you go out with a poor guy now?
BURRUSS: He can't be totally poor, because I don't want to take care. I dated a man that I had to take care of, and I don't like it.
MORGAN: So they have to be wealthy?
LEAKES: He doesn't have to be super rich, but he needs to have his own career, his own money. I'm attracted to that.
DEUTSCH: It's about respect. Money is a symbol of it. It's hard to respect a man that's not driven or not some degree successful. I'm not saying he's got to be a millionaire. So money is a way of keeping sorts, more of a man who's not going after something in life, then it's hard to respect him.
MORGAN: Final question, ladies. You're going to a desert island for the rest of your life. You can take me, Donnie or Anderson Cooper?
PARKS: I'm taking you.
MORGAN: Liking your answer.
BURRUSS: Wait, say that again?
MORGAN: Desert island, rest of your life, me, Anderson Cooper, Donnie Deutsch.
BURRUSS: That's a hard one.
MORGAN: I'm strike one.
BURRUSS: OK, I'll say you. They say once you go Brit, you never go back.
LEAKES: I like Anderson, but I may take -- if I was stuck, I may take Donnie. He knows what to do.
MORGAN: Two for me, one for Donnie.
DEUTSCH: It's your show.
MORGAN: None for the man who is coming up next on CNN. Ladies, thank you. Donnie, thank you. Ladies, you'll be reunited again on "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" part two, February the 20th on Bravo. Donnie, thank you. You're on Bravo giving your wonderful love advice for everyone.
Now, we're going to go to my colleague, Anderson Cooper, "AC 360," who was the only one of the three men that none of these ladies wanted to take to a desert island. Anderson, have a good show.