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PIERS MORGAN TONIGHT
Interview with Jada Pinkett Smith; Interview With Steve Harvey
Aired June 17, 2011 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
PIERS MORGAN, HOST: Any list of Hollywood power couples would have to include Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, and, of course, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith. Tonight, Jada Pinkett Smith on her career --
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JADA PINKETT SMITH, ACTRESS: I love acting, I love directing, I love producing, I love being a mother, I love being a wife. If I had to choose one, just would put me in the crazy house.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
MORGAN: -- on marriage --
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MORGAN: You've got the power to make the number one movie star in the world just abandon schedule for his wife. That's the real power.
SMITH: Well, that's love.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
MORGAN: -- and her family values.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SMITH: Will and I have a lot of support and have a lot of knowledge that we can give our kids, some life lessons and they can be safe.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
MORGAN: And then Steve Harvey, who is a very funny man with some very serious opinions on relationships.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
STEVE HARVEY, COMEDIAN: Hey, man, let me tell you the truth, if I understood women and could write that book, I'd be a millionaire.
(END VIDEO CLIP) MORGAN: And role model.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HARVEY: Real men do what they say they're going to do.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
MORGAN: This is PIERS MORGAN TONIGHT.
MORGAN: There is almost nothing that Jada Pinkett Smith can't do -- actress, singer, producer, director, author, business woman, and, on top of all, that wife and mother to a superstar family.
Jada joins me now.
Blimey. How on earth do you do so much?
SMITH: Well, I just put one foot in front of the other and keep it moving. You know? If I think about it I'll get overwhelmed, but --
MORGAN: What I like about it. I get the sense from you and Will that it's all about the background, where you came from. The work ethic comes from not having anything when you were young.
MORGAN: But now you've got the chance to do all this stuff it must be: A, very exciting, but B, you have that drive because you know where you came from.
SMITH: Absolutely. I think Benjamin Franklin talked about that. How, you know, children who are brought up without much really have the best work ethic. But, you know, for me, I feel blessed to be able to do what I like to do as well. You know?
MORGAN: What do you like doing most? Put family aside for one moment, professionally, if I could offer you the chance to just do one of those things everyday?
SMITH: Oh my goodness. One?
MORGAN: What would you choose, what would you get rid of? What do you think is the one thing you love most?
SMITH: I think that's been my curse, that I can't really find that one thing that keeps me content and happy. I've always wanted to have the ability to do what I want to do. And there are so many things that I want to do because I love acting, I love directing, I love producing, I love being a mother, I love being a wife. If I had to choose one, just would put me in the crazy house.
MORGAN: What would your mother say? Mother's always know? If I had her sitting here now what would she say is the thing you enjoy most, do you think? My mother would know.
SMITH: She would probably say being a mother.
MORGAN: Right, but what about professionally?
MORGAN: Really? See, that's interesting.
SMITH: Yes. She would say music, seeing me on stage.
MORGAN: You see, I work with Sharon Osbourne and she raves about your music.
SMITH: Yes, I went on her show. She brought me on her show a few years ago.
MORGAN: I know, she thinks your band are fantastic and you're like a proper, wild rock chick. I find this hard to understand because you seem so apparently nice and normal the kind of girl you want to take home to meet your mother.
SMITH: I know.
MORGAN: But I read all this dark stuff.
SMITH: Well, you know I feel that's the yin and the yang of every personality if you really think about it, you know? Are any of us one thing, really? No.
Tell me about -- your mother raised you as a single parent and you've had a pretty tough year actually because your father died and then his mother died and I think your aunt --
SMITH: My aunt also passed away.
MORGAN: I mean, three very close members of your family. What was it like for you growing up in a single parent household?
SMITH: Very hard. Very hard, you know, my mother was also very young when she had me so it was like two sisters trying to make it on their own, and the environment in which we were growing up in was not easy, you know? So, two women trying to protect each other and trying to make it together. It was very difficult. Very difficult.
MORGAN: No money, really?
SMITH: We didn't have a lot of money. I mean, we weren't broke. My mother was a nurse actually.
MORGAN: I know. I can see where you get it from. Is she as kick-ass as you are? SMITH: Yes, probably even more so. Probably more so. But, yes, it was very tough.
MORGAN: What did she teach you, your mother, in terms of value, do you think?
SMITH: I think the endurance. My mother had been through a lot and I'd just watched her overcome so many demons of her own and she never gave up and she always -- I mean, she is such a hero in my eyes and everything that she has been through and I've just watched her over the years just blossom and become. And, you know, I've just learned that life is about enduring.
MORGAN: I mean, that's an interesting word, I've never heard anybody say that before. Life's about enduring. I mean, I would imagine there will be people watching and saying, "Well, what do you have to endure now?"
SMITH: I would say that I still have my demons. You know, I still have my demons from my childhood and --
MORGAN: Like what?
SMITH: Well, you know, I have my own issues of abandonment, you know?
MORGAN: From your father?
SMITH: From my father and, you know, having been raised by a young mother who was really trying to find her way as well as having a little girl by her side. So, all kinds of issues come up with that. But I sure have a lot of daddy issues.
MORGAN: Yes, tell me about him.
SMITH: He's a very unique man. I must say. He wasn't a great father but I must say that he was an incredibly interesting, unique man and I really admired him.
I think that a lot of my gifts and my talents have come from him. And -- but, you know, he wasn't a great dad, but he was a cool guy.
MORGAN: Did he get better as he got older?
SMITH: I would say that before he passed, we had an opportunity to find common ground. We really did. We found a common ground. I don't know that we got complete understanding.
MORGAN: Did you forgive him?
SMITH: I forgive him now. I forgive him now. I think once he passed, a lot of things fell upon me when he passed away. A lot of revelations came to me. And it's so sad that it takes death for, you know, fierce revelations to hit you. And I wish that before he had passed, we could have had a more solidified reconciliation, but we didn't. But I must say that now, I do forgive him. MORGAN: What do you think you get from him in terms of your personality?
SMITH: My creative mind. You know, I would say my contemplative way of thinking, my courage to step outside of the box and do things that, you know, are unlikely. He was that character. You know, people would say, "Your dad's far out."
SMITH: So I think I probably get a little bit of my far-outness, probably most of my far out-ness from Rob's pool for sure.
MORGAN: And for your mother, I mean, what does she make of this, absurd way that your life has turned since those early days?
SMITH: I think she's amazed, you know, and it doesn't stop.
MORGAN: Does she worry about you?
SMITH: She worries when I work too hard. You know, just recently, she was like, "OK, this is getting ridiculous." She's like, "I'm calling the producers."
MORGAN: She probably doesn't know how many things you're doing.
SMITH: Well sometimes she gets a little concerned about that, but she really enjoys, you know, what I do and what the family does. I mean, she -- you know, it's our dream.
MORGAN: I want to ask you, I want to play a little clip from "Hawthorne" in which you played a brilliant character, and then I want to ask you what your mother thinks of it, given she used to be a nurse.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SMITH: Hello? UNIDENTIFIED MALE: (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
SMITH: You sure you got the right number?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'll make this meeting with Morrisey quick.
SMITH: I miss you already.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I leave in five hours and I miss you like crazy.
SMITH: All right. I'm going to take a hot bath and I suggest you get home before it gets cold, because that's when I get out and that's when you miss out. UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh really. Well you just make sure you keep my side of the bed warm, OK?
SMITH: No, what's mine is yours.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
MORGAN: I mean, it all happens on that show, doesn't it?
MORGAN: Yes, and, of course, some rather steamy love scenes go on, I notice.
MORGAN: What does the other man in your life, the one sitting opposite you right now, what does he make of all that?
SMITH: He --
MORGAN: I happen to know he is literally 10 feet away.
SMITH: Yes, he's in the room here, somewhere.
MORGAN: Watching this. Yes.
SMITH: I mean, it's part of what we do, you know, and --
MORGAN: But I could not watch my wife do a love scene.
SMITH: You know, it's interesting I think --
MORGAN: He produces it with you, right?
SMITH: Yes, he does and I think it --
MORGAN: He's there, he's in the room.
SMITH: No, we don't do that, sitting there on the monitor watching, like, no, OK, cut, Jada, what you need to do. No, we don't do that.
But what's interesting, having a partner that's in the industry as well, you know what those love scenes are. He's done enough to know that there's no real romance going on when you're doing those love scenes.
MORGAN: This is the great excuse that I hear from all these actors. But it calls the realities, how many of them end up having these steamy flings for real with their co-stars? Answer, a lot.
SMITH: That's true.
MORGAN: So, I'm doing the maths here, and that's why if I was in your position watching this, I would be, you know --
SMITH: And I get that. You have just to have trust, you really do. You have to have trust.
MORGAN: Can you watch him do it?
SMITH: I can. I really can. I think - - but I'm a different creature in that way as well. You know, I'm always the one that's like, listen, don't show me up, let them see what you got, all right? Don't play with it, you know? That's always me.
MORGAN: We've got to take a break but when we get back I want to talk to you about you marriage because what I like about it is that you were kind of flabbergasted that you got married anyway, and then you were even more flabbergasted that you've lasted 14 years and you still seem ridiculously in love. I need to know the secret. We all do.
Are you going to ask me when we come back?
MORGAN: When we come back. I'll give you time to think about it.
(VIDEO CLIP PLAYS)
MORGAN: That's from "A Different World," Jada's first big gig in Hollywood and a sitcom produced by Bill Crosby. And I want to read this quote, it seems very appropriate. One reporter has described you as dainty but kick-ass, chiseled but curvy, hip-hop but hard rock, earthy but other worldly, artistic but business savvy, accessible but eons away from the average person's life.
What do you think of that?
SMITH: I would say that's pretty much on the nose. That's how --
MORGAN: It makes you a fascinating and complex character. Much more than people might think?
SMITH: Yes, definitely. I hear that a lot, especially in interviews.
MORGAN: At least they're all the same. (INAUDIBLE).
SMITH: But, I do, I hear that a lot and I don't think that, you know, it's very hard to really get the gist of all that I am and I think a lot of people see me as the mom and a lot of people see me as the nurse on "Hawthorne" on TNT. But, you know, people don't really get to know who Jada is. I think only my close friends and my husband and my family.
MORGAN: What don't we know about you then, that would be a thing to find out?
SMITH: I think all the different layers, you know? All the many different interests that I have, you know, and how deeply I love, and how committed I am to what I love and my own truth. I don't know if people really know or understand that about me.
MORGAN: What's very interesting is. If we just studied you and everything you do you'd be a compelling subject anyway. It just so happens that you're also married to the most bankable movie star on planet earth --
MORGAN: -- which kind of lifts the whole thing to a ridiculous level.
SMITH: Right. Yes.
MORGAN: You didn't make it easy, did you?
SMITH: No, I didn't. I did not. And I would say, you know, that's one thing about me, I never choose the easy route, you know, and I must say that my life with Will and the life that we have together is wonderful, but on the other side of that -- because, you know, it's hard to stand next to a man, you know, as powerful as he is, you know, just because of being his support and what it takes to support that is a lot.
MORGAN: You see, I met him for the first time ever, about 20 minutes ago and he's exactly how you would hope Will Smith is going to be.
MORGAN: He is just a nice, easy, funny guy, obviously, incredibly in love with his wife who is just there to support you and, you know, it's nice to see. You don't see that very often.
SMITH: No, and he took two days off. I'm only here for two days and he took two days off from "Men in Black 3" to be here with me and to make sure that that I'm OK. He knew that I've had a rough, rough schedule. And he was like, you know what, I'm going to take off and I'm going to take care of you.
MORGAN: You talk about him in power, you've got the power to make the number one movie star in the world just abandon the schedule for his wife. That's the real power.
SMITH: Well, that's love. That's love.
MORGAN: Well, what made you fall in love with him?
SMITH: I would say Will came at a time in my life where he saw beauty in me that I didn't see in myself at the time. And, you know, he saw a diamond in the rough and kind of, picked me up and blew off all the dust and said, I'm telling you, I'm going to make you shine girl.
MORGAN: He certainly did that.
SMITH: Right, exactly. So, I was going through a really rough time and, you know, he created a really safe space for me to get healthy and to grow and define myself.
MORGAN: How do you keep things so -- I mean, I keep reading that the pair of you have a fantastic sex life, after 14 years of marriage.
SMITH: You have to. You know, and I know people get so upset about it, but for me --
MORGAN: I don't get upset, I get excited by it. Wherever you go, the pair of you, you try and make love. Is that true?
SMITH: I mean, we make love in some interesting places.
MORGAN: I mean, should I be concerned about my Green Room.
SMITH: You should be. You should be, you know?
But the thing about it is I feel like you have to keep spontaneity, you have to keep -- you have to keep your partner on their toes because once, you know, it starts getting into a routine, it's like -- it gets very boring. You commit, you give your life to someone.
MORGAN: Every guy, I mean you look at Will Smith and you think, fantastic actor, lovely guy, blokes love him, women love him, everybody loves him and now we've got to deal with the fact that he's good in bed as well.
MORGAN: It's a chance sheet.
If you were being critical, really critical, think he's not in the room right now. Let's try and do one fault.
SMITH: He's a workaholic.
MORGAN: Is that a fault?
SMITH: It can be at times but it's not like a crushing fault, but you said, one thing and I gave you one.
MORGAN: Do you guys ever have arguments? Do you ever scream at each other? SMITH: No, we don't scream at each other. We cut that in the beginning because we're both very passionate people, so we knew we wouldn't survive screaming at each other. So -- but, yes, we have arguments and we have our disagreements and we have our debates. You know, we have our problems. I mean, it's not perfect in the sense that we don't have any issues. It's not an easy marriage.
MORGAN: What is the secret for a successful Hollywood marriage? There's all the pressures that fly in.
SMITH: Friendship, friendship. You have to be friends and in that have a certain understanding of what is needed. I think that with marriages, people have to understand that you have to look at your marriage and understand what is needed in your marriage -- not what people think your marriage should be or what people want your marriage to be. But I have to look at my husband and I have to look at him and look at what he needs as an individual and he has to look at me and see what I need and then we have to look at the union and see what the union needs and we have to make decisions based on that. Not based on what people think marriage should be.
MORGAN: Who's the boss?
SMITH: Both of us. And I'm going to tell you right now it's not one or the other. Believe you me, I know people - - it's both.
MORGAN: Even as you do that I'm terrified. I think I know.
Anyway we're going to have a little break. When we come back I want to talk about the fact that it's not just you two kicking ass in entertainment but your kids as well. So, we'll talk about them and their fabulous careers.
SMITH: All right.
(VIDEO CLIP PLAYS)
MORGAN: And that, of course, is the next generation of the Smith dynasty, 13-year-old Jayden who has also been in the "Karate Kid" and 11-year-old Willow with her massive hit "Whip My Hair."
MORGAN: I mean, you've got some family here because they are genuinely talented. It's not like you thrust them down an unsuspecting public's throat when they're not very good. They are very talented children.
SMITH: Yes, they are, even if I say so myself.
MORGAN: Do you -- I know you get asked this a lot but I suppose I'd rephrase the obvious, do you worry about them. I read your explanation that actually because they're surrounded by so much love and talented people, not just with you but with your friends, many of them are in the business, and if they can't succeed in that environment, then when would they given where you and Will came from.
MORGAN: But I guess the obvious question is: as you know, fame brings with it it's own kind of pressures. Entertainment and performing, all that kind of thing is a pressurized environment.
Do you ever get concerned about having kids go down your route so young?
SMITH: It's interesting because when I think about the pressures that I had growing up, you know, living in a drug infested neighborhood. Not always having the lights on, not always knowing where my next meal is going to come from, having parents who are addicted to drugs, I think I would rather have my kids deal with the pressure of the Hollywood platform in a more contained, controlled environment than having had them be confronted with life on that platform.
With life there are pressures, there's no getting around it. So I actually feel really blessed to have a platform like Hollywood where I actually feel that Will and I have a lot of support and have a lot of knowledge that we can give our kids some life lessons and they can be safe.
MORGAN: I do another show, "America's Got Talent."
MORGAN: And when I see these young people, we often get criticized for encouraging them to be stars, but when you hear a Jackie Evancho or someone who is so incredibly gifted, and my first question is, show me the parents?
MORGAN: Let me see what's going on here, how pushy are they being, are they there for them, do they understand it?
I mean, for one thing, that's so obvious about this environment is that you and Will know all the problems, know all the pitfalls and you aren't pushing them.
SMITH: No. I mean, this is -- this is their game and at any time they want to stop they have our full support. I don't know if Willow and Jayden want to do this for the rest of their lives. I know they want to do it now.
And I tell you what else is interesting about others, children who are brought into the Hollywood game, I feel like the paragons have shifted because the child becomes the breadwinner for the family, so they become the adult. They have to make the decisions and the adults start relying upon them, and they're hiring and firing parents and family members. Well, it'll be a long time before Jayden Smith or Willow Smith is breadwinner of this Smith family. Hell no. So the paradox stays in.
MORGAN: If either of them become the breadwinner, I want to be their manager.
SMITH: Exactly. You know, so they still have the ability to remain as children who just happen to entertainment whereas, I think, most children end up making more money than their parents, and it creates a very difficult paradox.
MORGAN: I want to read you a quote, "I have more comfort in my skin than in the world I had in my twenties," At that age you look for the dude to take care of you and in your 30s you connect with your internal power and I took care of myself and everything else that was to fall into place did. You're about to be --
SMITH: No, go on, say it.
SMITH: Yes. And I'm proud.
MORGAN: Are you?
SMITH: Yes, I really do. Oh, no. I feel good. I mean, listen it's inevitable, it's inevitable.
MORGAN: I didn't like turning 40.
SMITH: You know what, I actually don't mind it. I thought I was going to have a more difficult time and I think what helped --
MORGAN: Does it help because you look 25?
SMITH: Well, thank you. Thank you.
Well, you know they say that 40 is the new 30. That's what they say, so that's how I feel.
MORGAN: I wish I felt like that, come on and take just control.
SMITH: Yes, I feel really good. I really do. I have to say.
And I think that having had those three deaths in the last year gave me deep reflection on my life and on my blessings, and I think that really put everything into perspective.
MORGAN: How would you most like to be remembered eventually? What's the thing you'd be proudest of, do you think? SMITH: I don't know. I hope that -- I hope that the people that I've loved remember me as loving them fiercely. My grandmother who raised me, her love is what has carried me through so many things. It's what I remember most.
So I would say it would be how I've loved. You're going to make me cry. Don't do it, Piers. Don't do it.
MORGAN: I didn't do anything.
SMITH: Don't make me cry.
MORGAN: You're moving me when you react like that.
SMITH: Well, thank you.
MORGAN: I get that. Especially the journey you've come on, it's so extraordinary. You've had these strong women in your life.
SMITH: Yes, I have. I've before very blessed to have that. I really have.
MORGAN: It's been a real pleasure to meet you.
SMITH: It's been a pleasure to meet you.
MORGAN: Get in one shameless plug for your show before we go.
MORGAN: Otherwise, your producer is going to have words with me.
SMITH: You have to make sure you tune in to "Hawthorne" on TNT, 10:00 on Tuesdays.
MORGAN: It's a great show. You're fabulous in it. I have loved meeting you. Thank you so much.
SMITH: My pleasure.
MORGAN: Take care. Coming up, a seriously funny guy. Steve Harvey on everything that women need to know about men.
MORGAN: Steve Harvey is man of many talents, comedian, actor, radio host, game show host and best selling author. "Straight Talk, No Chaser," is his latest book, the follow up to "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," which was on the "the New York Times" best sellers list for -- wait for it -- 64 weeks.
Steve Harvey joins me now. That is some book record you have.
STEVE HARVEY, COMEDIAN: Amazing.
MORGAN: Sixty four Weeks on "the New York Times" best seller list.
HARVEY: Kind of crazy. I didn't really see that coming.
MORGAN: Why have you -- don't take this personally. I'm a big fan of all your work. But why have you become such a popular adviser, guru, relationship adviser?
HARVEY: Well, to be honest with you, man, that's really not what I am, you know. I wrote these books -- the only thing I really know about is how men think. That's my expertise, is how men think.
People took the book and they got to put a label on you. So they started saying he's a relationship expert. He's a love guru. Hey, man, let me tell you the truth. If I understood women and could write that book, I would be a billionaire. I really would.
MORGAN: Obviously, you say you've been positioned as the guy that understands how men think. Why do you think you represent men? There must be lots of men who don't think like you.
HARVEY: Well, see, when it comes to certain things like love, commitment, sex, guys, Piers, pretty much think the same way. We really do. You can put us in a nutshell. We're guys.
We think pretty much the same way. I think what happened was I just was one of the guys I decided to be honest about it, and just tell women the truth. You know, just say, OK, here it is. This is how we really feel about this.
You don't have to like it or agree with it, but this is how we feel about it.
MORGAN: One of the main reasons you have come on today is not just the book. It's this mentoring program that you have. It's called Share, Teach and Demonstrate the Principles of Manhood to Young Men. What are the principles of manhood?
HARVEY: Well, first of all, it's not what is being put out there today in our music and our videos. That's not the only portrayal of manhood, but it's given our young people who don't have fathers in their lives the wrong portrayal of what manhood really is.
Real men, the principles are simple. Real men go to work. Real men have jobs. Real men take care of their children. Real men are law abiding citizens. Real men are God fearing. Real men honor women and respect women.
That's what manhood is. If you allow for young boys who don't have the proper role models to listen to stuff or have a lot of stuff inundated into their mindset, they'll get the wrong idea. They'll get to thinking that what kind of car you have, what kind of jewelry you wear, if you have a star status as a rapper or athlete or something like that, it makes you a man.
Being those things don't make you not a man, but that's not defining. MORGAN: Is your mentoring program aimed primarily at young black men or is it wider than that?
HARVEY: Well, it was set up to be wider than that, but because I promote it on my radio show, 97 to 98 percent of the kids that end up at the program are African-American.
MORGAN: Do you think there is a particular cultural issue with young black men in America right now that needs to be addressed? And if so, what is it?
HARVEY: I mean, absolutely. Absolutely. It's a huge problem in our community. It's something that is not the government's fault and we can't expect the government to come along and fix this problem.
There's a huge segment in our population of young men who are growing up with not enough of the proper male role models in place. And it happens in our community for various numbers of reasons.
You know, there's statistic out that there are more African- American young men of college age in prison than in college. OK, that stat right there is alarming. That's something that we can do about it.
So it is a big problem in our community. And it has to be addressed by those of us who are very familiar with the community.
MORGAN: I want to play you a clip from the mentoring. Watch a bit of this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I really don't have a dad. My dad was in jail. So I just live with my mom.
And I just like -- every time I woke up, I felt like I don't have any man to support me. I'm glad you let me come up here.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
MORGAN: A very emotional moment there. Tell me about your father.
HARVEY: See, my father was so critical to my existence, man. If it wasn't for my dad, there's no way, man. There's no way I turn out to be who I am today.
He offered too much guidance for me. He kept me straight when I was sliding off the path. He kept me, you know, grounded when I wanted to shoot off. My father was just there, man.
MORGAN: What values did he give you?
HARVEY: He taught me hard work. If you never do what you say you're going to do, man, that's going to be rough as a man. MORGAN: You've got a very moving dedication to your book. You say it's dedicated to the memory of your beloved mother, Eloise Vira Harvey (ph), who taught me my love and faith in God, as you say, and to my father, Jesse Slick Harvey (ph), whose sole purpose seemed to be to teach me how to be a man. And that combination has kept me moving forward, even in my darkest days. I miss them so much. I hope I'm making them proud.
What do you think they would have made of you, particularly your father, who was this great mentor? What would he have made of what you have made of yourself?
HARVEY: Well, I think my father would be proud of me right now, you know. He would have scolded me a couple times, because I made a couple mistakes along the time.
MORGAN: What would he have scolded you for?
HARVEY: You know, I think a couple relationships he would have wanted me to get it together a little sooner, because my mother and father was married for 64 years. You know, that's all I've ever known. I've just known these two people to be married. I always thought of that.
MORGAN: That's amazing.
MORGAN: There's an irony, if you don't mind me saying this, in the sense of you being portrayed as straight talker, no chaser. You're the love guru. Andy yet you have had two failed marriages. You're in your third marriage. It's not been plain sailing for you.
If you were being hypercritical of yourself -- imagine even being your dad talking to you about those failed marriages. What would you say to yourself?
HARVEY: It's kind of OK, because what I've learned about mistakes and failures is that they're not just complete wipeouts. Mistakes and failures are great teachers. And failure is the best teacher of them all. I don't know that you can learn any better than when you fail.
It's like when I'm on stage, if I'm performing and all of the jokes are working, then that's a cool night. But what makes you great is when you go out there and a large portion of these jokes are not working, and you learn how to fix them and how not get in that situation again.
So failure became a great teacher for me. I think if I had not failed the way I have, if I had not hit my head and made the bumps and bruises, I probably wouldn't know a whole lot of what I'm talking about.
MORGAN: We're going to take a short break. When we come back, I'm going to talk to you about some of those failures in more detail to see what you feel you've learned from them.
HARVEY: No problem. I like that.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: the note says -- I'll never forget this note. The note says, even if there were no planes, trains or buses, I would still walk 100 miles for one of your kisses.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
MORGAN: That was your ex-wife, second ex-wife, Mary. That is from the infamous Youtube clips.
HARVEY: You played that one?
MORGAN: I know that you didn't want to have the bad stuff, but that was a nice line. That was the reason they chose it. It was actually kind of reminder of happier times.
HARVEY: Yes, because like now that same bus, train and automobile I crash into the side of a mountain. Just a little different thing right now.
MORGAN: With all of your experience, how can things go that wrong, from a guy who wants to one moment be on any train, bus and next moment wants to crash it. How do you think a relationship goes so badly wrong? And what do you do when you see the warning signs?
If you had your time again in that relationship, what would you do differently to try to stop that from happening?
HARVEY: I don't know that I could because I just think, you know, it was at a bad time for me. I probably should have kept moving at that period in my life. I don't really know that there's anything that I could have did to stop that from happening.
It's regretful that it comes down to something like this because, you know, man, when you have a child involved, I think that's a harmful way to go about it. People have their own way of dealing with it.
I've been divorced for six years. I mean, now is a pretty crazy time to bring up something that you've been feeling. We dealt with it.
MORGAN: It's a weird sign of the times, too, isn't it, when an ex-wife can go on Youtube and make these public -- it's just a bit odd. It wouldn't have happened 20 years ago. There was no Internet. There was no Youtube.
HARVEY: What's crazy about it, man, is -- seen, not just for me, but there are people who lose their jobs. There are people who lose relationships because there's no policing on the Internet. A person can get on the Internet and say and do anything.
MORGAN: Who doesn't like you.
HARVEY: It can just be total falsehoods. That's happened with me. And then they lose their job and stuff like that is happening. So I wish there was something that could be done for people. It's too late for me. I mean, it happened to me, but I got beyond it.
MORGAN: What have you changed about yourself? You're now in your third marriage. You seem, from everything I've read an heard, very happy in your third marriage, almost like you've cracked it finally. Is that how you see it?
HARVEY: I mean, exactly, man. I think the difference between now and then is because -- the decision I made this time, I put a lot of faith behind it, you know? I talk about my faith all the time, you know? And it's going to be hard to tell the Steve Harvey story without talking about my faith.
MORGAN: Do you think that you're now married for life?
HARVEY: Oh, yeah. Definitely.
MORGAN: Do you believe inside you this is it?
HARVEY: Definitely. I mean, I have my soul mate, you know? I found what I've been looking for.
MORGAN: What was it you -- now you've got the benefit of hindsight and learned the hard way. What was it, do you think, you were really look for in a woman?
HARVEY: What I have now.
MORGAN: Which is what?
HARVEY: I have a woman who wakes up who's completely happy with herself. See, before I thought my job was to make you happy. That's not my job. I'm not that good. I don't have the ability. So what I learned was I found someone who was happy with themselves.
And I don't have to wake up to make Marjorie happy every day. Marjorie wakes up happy. So therefore, Marjorie's happy with herself. So now, when I bring my happy and her happy to the party, it's a great time. Now, do we have difficulties and problems? Yeah, man, just like everybody else.
But we resolve them differently. We know how to sit down and work through it. She's taught me not to raise my voice. You know, if I raise my voice at my wife, she just stops talking to me period.
HARVEY: Yeah. MORGAN: She damns you with silence.
HARVEY: Shuts it down. And you go somewhere and you go, OK, this is crazy. This is crazy.
MORGAN: We're going to have a short break. When we come back, I want to talk to you about what you think men really, really want from a woman, other than what you've just explained.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Steve, you don't have to take me out. Just get me a half gallon of chunky monkey and give me the remote and some vodka.
HARVEY: You're a very attractive woman. Any man would be proud to have you on his arm.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Then why are my husband and my pool man looking for his and his bathroom towels?
HARVEY: You know, could have been worse. Could have left you for a white woman.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
MORGAN: That was a clip from "the Steve Harvey Show". It ran for six seasons. Steve with me now. I mean, you're obviously joking there.
MORGAN: Tell me, in all your kind of studies for these books and things, is your conclusion that interracial relationships, marriages, should be encouraged or not encouraged?
HARVEY: Well, I mean, for my take on everything, I think people should find love, whatever that is. I mean, love doesn't have a color attached to it.
So I'm perfectly fine with it. I think it's OK. I think it's a decision that the two people have to make.
MORGAN: You sold millions of books. Quite astonishing record with these books, as I said at the top of the show.
You tell women that men want three things. They want support, loyalty and sex. And you say the key thing for any woman is the 90- day sex ban. Don't succumb for 90 days.
HARVEY: Here's the deal, Piers. I worked a couple of jobs in my life, 11 of them, to be exact, before I got into comedy. All of those jobs had a probationary period. Ford Motor Company, Lincoln Electric, General Electric, you had to stay on that job 90 days before this company gave you benefits, Before you got dental, health, anything, 90 days.
Women, who have one of the greatest benefits of them all -- everything that a man wants -- if I tell you a man wants love, support and sex, and you possess those three things, why would you give it to a man without knowing everything you could know about this guy? Why would you give him the benefits before 90 days, especially if you're looking for a long term commitment?
Now, look, if you're out at the clubs and you're just doing something for the weekend, and you want to have a hot weekend with a guy? Do your thing. But if you're looking for a long-term relationship like most companies are looking for with people that they employ, they wait 90 days before they give them benefits.
MORGAN: This is all very laudable, Steve. But I have a question for you. As a member of the male species, why the hell would you tell women what we really mean?
HARVEY: Because, see -- there's nothing in it for you. You're not even going to buy the book. See?
The three million people that have bought the book, two million 999,000 of them have been women. So I don't care what you all think.
You all don't even read. And you know, women tell me all the time, Steve, you ought to write a book for men. Listen to me, men don't read.
When's the last time, Piers, you've been in a bubble bath with some candles lit.
MORGAN: Scented candles?
HARVEY: Yeah. And a book and a glass of wine?
MORGAN: Reading about love and relationships?
MORGAN: It's never happened.
HARVEY: Never. It's never going to happen.
MORGAN: It's never going to happen.
HARVEY: If you do, that's not your man.
MORGAN: I love it. Steve Harvey, you are a genius.
HARVEY: Great interview. Loved it, man. Thank you, brother.
MORGAN: That was Steve Harvey. A fascinating interview. Thank you very much.
You've heard what Tatum O'Neal says about her father. On Monday night, Ryan O'Neal responds. And it's quite extraordinary. (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RYAN O'NEAL, ACTOR: What kind of a man wouldn't be proud of someone who has made all these sacrifices and all this growth and wants me to -- to respect her, to love her?
MORGAN: Do you?
O'NEAL: Yeah. I do. She's hard. She's a beauty. She's a great beauty. And there are times in which she's magnificent. But she has made my life hard -- hard, and Farrah's.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
MORGAN: That's it for us tonight. "AC 360" starts now.