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Moms with X-Rated Jobs
Aired May 1, 2012 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
DR. DREW PINSKY, HOST: Here we go.
Can a good mother also be a porn star? Meet one who says yes you can. She`s providing for her kids with an x-rated job. Sound off at 1-855- DRDREW5.
Plus, want a community of registered sex offenders in your backyard? Well, neither do some people in Florida. Why is one man buying homes for them there?
He`s here. Tell them what you think, 1-855-DRDREW5.
Let`s get started.
PINSKY: All right.
A few words set off a firestorm of controversy like pornography, especially when it comes to females working the adult entertainment industry. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY (voice-over): An ex-porn star-turned-science teacher was recently fired after co-workers exposed her x-rated past. And administrator deemed her presence would disrupt student learning. A single mom who became a porn star is stirring controversy for her unapologetic view that it`s more important to keep a roof over her child`s head than worry about the moral conflict of performing sex acts on camera.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY: So the question we`re asking and again we`re taking your calls at 1-855-DRDREW -- can an x-rated career woman, so to speak, be a good mom?
Alana Evans is a mother and a porn star.
So, Alana, how does that work? How could that be? People watching and they`re going, I don`t think so.
ALANA EVANS, MOTHER AND PORN STAR: Well, it`s definitely a juggling act. For me my family always comes first. The real reason why I actually entered the adult industry and became a porn star was to take care of my family and to take care of my kids.
PINSKY: Money for kids.
EVANS: Money for kids.
PINSKY: I mean -- here`s where I sort of get incredulous, if it was that hard to make a living, everybody would do porn, because they would just get jobs, they just go to porn.
EVANS: This is very true. I`m not everyone though. I was in a very abusive, very difficult relationship at 18 years old. I had a child. My son was everything to me.
PINSKY: So you were desperate.
EVANS: You know, yes. Ironically, my ex-husband, who was at the time an Oakland police officer, was the one who helped me find my way into the industry because we were open-minded, we had an open relationship. Sex to me is not love. So, I don`t carry those things with me. It didn`t have the same type of jealousy that most people would deal with.
So, when it was time for me to get out of that relationship, porn saved my life. It gave me a way to be with my son, to be with him every day after school except for the four or five days at the most that I worked. It gave me money to take care of myself, to take care of him, to pay our bills without being on welfare or receiving any public assistance.
PINSKY: Well, speaking of welfare, Octomom announced today, we had her on the show yesterday. She was she entering foreclosure, and she said she had this great plan to get out of foreclosure. Today, she announced she`s going to do pornography.
PINSKY: Do you think that`s the right way to do this? Is that -- have you set a good example for Octomom? Do you know what I mean?
EVANS: You know what? Any woman who is willing to do whatever she has to, to take care of her children even if that means doing porn, good for her, because other people may not agree with it, but the important thing is, in reality, she`s putting her kids first because she can`t make the rent, she can`t make the bills, she`s got to provide for them.
PINSKY: All right. Let`s take some calls. We go to Sharon in Missouri.
Sharon, you want to ask a question to Alana. Go ahead.
SHARON, CALLER FROM MISSOURI: Hi.
PINSKY: Hi, Sharon.
SHARON: My question is how can this woman teach her right from wrong? And what kind of decisions will her son be making about women?
PINSKY: And, Sharon, elaborate on that a little more. So, you are putting porn under wrong behavior, so you can`t model right behavior if you are doing something wrong, is that what you`re saying?
SHARON: Correct. I think it`s hypocritical.
PINSKY: OK. And then also you are saying that she is modeling exploitation of women and she`s afraid that why wouldn`t he then exploit women?
SHARON: Right. I don`t think you`d be able to separate it. I think the repercussions of this are huge.
PINSKY: OK. What do you say?
EVANS: I think that`s a very fair question. I absolutely understand that.
For me with my son, I came from an abusive relationship. I`m already countering him going into that same path and being an abusive man himself. The fact that I used my body to make my living caused my son to actually have more respect for me because it meant that it didn`t matter what I did to myself, I would do for him.
While I do porn, let me say, I`m a registered voter. I have served on a jury.
PINSKY: Pay taxes?
EVANS: I pay taxes. I have never been arrested for one thing in my entire life.
So while you may judge me because sex is my job, it`s not illegal, and I`m an outstanding citizen besides the fact that porn is my job. That`s your opinion if you don`t think that I`m good.
PINSKY: Let`s keep taking calls. Whitney in Montana, go right ahead.
WHITNEY, CALLER FROM MONTANA: Hi. It`s more of -- not a question, I guess my opinion. I just want to say to your guest -- congratulations for being able to raise a kid on your own and be in a difficult industry.
EVANS: Thank you.
WHITNEY: I mean, if my husband were to pass away, I can`t say that wouldn`t be a thought in my head of doing something like that, you know, with three little kids that I would have to take care of. I -- even asked my parents who are very old fashioned, what they thought about it. And they said it sounds like she`s doing everything she can to raise a good citizen as far as raising her son goes and she seems like a very nice person.
And if the mom of one of the kids in my daughter`s dance class is also a porn star, who cares? What business is it of mine?
PINSKY: Good point, Whitney. Let me ask you ask this, though. My wife and I had this conversation the other day. It seems like pornography is becoming so matter of fact. I would almost liken it to the way nude photography was when I was a kid. It`s almost the same level of acceptance by society.
PINSKY: Is that maybe not a good thing?
EVANS: You know what? I think society is advancing sexually. We come from a puritan state, a lot of our personal beliefs about sex are based on religion, are based from things that we were taught --
PINSKY: I`m going to interrupt you and just say -- you`re right. But, for me, I break as a physician, I break everything down into healthy and not healthy.
EVANS: And I understand that.
PINSKY: And when you are exploited in any way or your boundaries aren`t clear, it becomes sort of not healthy. I don`t call it bad. I call it sort of not healthy.
Let`s take more calls.
Davyna in Kansas, go right ahead.
DAVYNA, CALLER FROM KANSAS: Yes, I just have a comment for Alana.
DAVYNA: She needs to do what she needs to do for her children. I am a mother of three children and I am blessed to be able to stay home with them at least. But, you know, like she said, it`s not illegal.
PINSKY: Davyna, I`m sort of surprised. I hang on a second. I thought the HLN viewers were different than what I`m hearing from tonight. I`m surprised. This is now a second or third call from women supporting going to any lengths to protect your kids. I get that.
But isn`t there another side to this story that she has to pay a personal price? Society maybe gets accepting of something that may not be healthy? No?
DAVYNA: My personal opinion is in it`s in the bedroom, you know? If a wife and husband want to enjoy watching porn together, you know, whose business is it?
PINSKY: OK, fair enough.
DAVYNA: She has to do what she needs to do. You know, I think, you know, she`s very brave.
EVANS: Thank you.
PINSKY: She`s brave to come out and talk about it. I think that`s for sure.
I want to bring in Shelly Lubben right now. She`s a single mom. She`s a former porn star, former prostitute.
Shelly, you`ve been listening to this conversation. Let me just -- let me frame the question to you this way. Alana says her son is fine from all of this. You have a child I believe as well.
Do you think kids are affected by these choices?
SHELLEY LUBBEN, REGRETS FORMER LIFE AS PROSTITUTE, PORN STAR: Absolutely. I was in porn in early `90s and I was in denial that I hurt my child. I figured, well, I have nannies that help or maybe I have a sugar daddy that will help here or a boyfriend, and they`ll take care of her and she`ll never really feel the effects.
The truth is, later on, she`s 22 now and she`s still in recovery for what she went through. There was times where she by accident stumbled upon my porn and thought her mom was a big movie star and watched video and goes -- oh, my gosh, what`s going on with my mom.
She was masturbating since she was age four, since I was involved in that lifestyle -- listen, you`re really good. I tried to hide her from all of it. But we are ignorant if we think we`re going to hide kids from our career.
And let me tell you, pornography isn`t just about making movies. I`m pretty sure that Alana actually -- from what I hear, your husband also has been involved in making movies.
LUBBEN: What I don`t understand is both of you are married and you`re both having unprotected sex with multiple partners not thinking about what your kids will think about this in maybe 10 years from now.
PINSKY: OK. Shelley, stand by. I`m going to give Alana a chance to respond. Go ahead.
EVANS: My kids come first.
PINSKY: Let`s talk with the STDs.
EVANS: Well --
PINSKY: You get tested regularly --
EVANS: I`m tested every 30 days, as everyone else is.
PINSKY: Shelley, hold on one second.
EVANS: I pick my sexual partners very carefully. I can already hear in her statement that`s mine. I did not lie to my children and tell them that I`m just an actress. My children from the moment they were old enough to understand, I shared it with them carefully so they would respect me and know that regardless of the choices I`m making, I`m still respecting them enough to give them the opportunity to feel it.
PINSKY: OK. And I`m going to give -- Shelley, hang on. Shelley, please, I`m going to give you a chance to respond in a second. I got to wrap this whole segment up and we`re going to talk about you and your recovery and your response to Alana`s comment.
But, your son is a boy.
EVANS: Yes. He`s 18.
PINSKY: He played football, didn`t he?
EVANS: Played football.
PINSKY: Trust me his football team saw your video.
EVANS: They sure did.
PINSKY: Trust me he was not happy about that.
EVANS: I will tell you.
PINSKY: He may not have seen it but his teammates did.
EVANS: He came home one day and he said -- and we`ve been waiting for this moment, you know? I`ve been getting him ready since he was 12 years old and giving him the tools he needed to protect himself for choices I made. I did not send him into the big bad world not knowing about his mom, so that he could be attack and not be prepared.
EVANS: He came home and said, OK, mom, they asked me in football practice today, do you do porn. My concern was what did you say?
PINSKY: You wanted him to be honest.
EVANS: Yes. And he said, "I said yes." I said, "OK, what did they say?" And no one had a problem with it.
I live in a valley. I live in a community that is used to having adult people in our schools, around our children because I`m friends with people in the business. Things like that.
PINSKY: OK, guys, I`ve got to go to break. Alana, hang on. And, Shelley, hang on.
I`m going to take -- OK, I`ve got a caller on the line, Susan. I`m not able to go to her just yet. But I`m taking more calls. The phone number, again, 855-373-7395.
Shelley is dying to respond to Alana. I see her up in our screen. Look at her. You get the picture.
Do that again. There you are, Shelley. You`re ready to go.
We`ll get her response and your calls after this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You said money was tight. You got that right.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: OK. You know what? I finish here at 6:00. See if Georgia can fit him in after that.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: See, that`s the thing. It wouldn`t be here. This client likes to meet off site.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY: That was Jennifer Love Hewitt in her Lifetime series, "The Client List." A friend of mine, I`m going to get here to talk about this, maybe at some point we`ll get that conversation going with Jennifer. She plays a struggling single mom who takes a job at a massage parlor where clients get, what do you say, finishes.
Joining me now is a single mother who earns her living as a legal prostitute at the Bunny Ranch in Nevada. She goes by the name Barbie Girl.
Barbie, I`m going to go to you in just a second. Thanks for joining us. But I want to give Shelley a chance to respond to Alana.
Again, we`re taking your calls, don`t forget at 855-373-7395.
Shelley, you were -- you were champing at the bit to get in here. Let me again start you with a question. You mentioned being in recovery.
Recovery from what? What`s recovery look like for you?
LUBBEN: Recovery was eight long years of learning how to heal emotionally, mentally, physically. I caught two sexually transmitted diseases. One of them was non-curable herpes. And the other is HPV, human papillomavirus, that led to me having cervical cancer where I have half of my cervix removed. I have to have a uterine ablation every year, and I`m probably going to have to have a hysterectomy because I had unprotected sex in porn.
So, I paid some serious consequences, not just physically, but emotionally, psychologically. I couldn`t kiss. I couldn`t -- I didn`t trust because obviously men only wanted one thing. It took me a lot of hard work to finally be able to love myself again. I went to school and I did something honorable with my life instead of opening my legs and being lazy.
You know, I actually went to school. I`m going to learn to do something great with my life. I`m going to make a difference in this life. I`m not going hurt my children anymore. I hurt my first daughter very much so.
And my question to her is: does your son know that what you`re involved in is only legal in two states? Forty-eight states, it is sex trafficking and prostitution to produce pornography. And in the state of California, does your son know it`s the law within the Los Angeles County and Simi Valley that you have to use a condom and you can`t have unprotected sex? Maybe if he knew all of these laws, he might think differently about what his mom is involved in.
PINSKY: Shelley, I`m going to let that just lie. It seems like a polemic and that`s fine.
I want to go to Barbie Girl and ask her to respond to Shelley -- (a), about the laziness of your choices and, (b), did you turn to prostitution out of desperation?
"BARBIE GIRL", PROSTITUTE & SINGLE MOM: OK. One, there`s no lazy about having sex. It`s a big workout.
Two, my situation is a little bit different. Yes, I did turn to my job legal prostitution at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch because hosting at red lobster was not cutting it for me. And I have a son. That`s the very top reason why I decided to do anything that I could do to provide for my child.
PINSKY: A lot of choices here for kids. Shelley, hold on.
LUBBEN: School -- you know, there`s student loans. There`s grants. There`s so much available help from the government to help you do what you really want to do, instead of entering the sex work due to desperation for raising a child.
PINSKY: Let`s go to calls. Shelley, thanks. Barbie, thank you.
Susan in Indiana, you had personal experience with all of this. Let us know.
Susan, are you there?
SUSAN, CALLER FROM INDIANA: Me?
PINSKY: Yes, you. If your name is Susan. Muncie, Indiana. Go right ahead.
SUSAN: Hi. Yes, I`m wondering how this is any different from acting and keeping in mind there`s a lot of actresses that are drug addicts and crazy people.
This girl keeping good balance of her family, doing her job and going home. How is this different from Julia Roberts playing a prostitute and going home and taking care of her family? I mean, it`s all this -- girl keeping a good balance and not being a drug addict and alcoholic, doing the x-rated thing.
And, you know, this economy sucks and gross domestic product -- we`re a mess here. This poor girl is trying to make it. If she puts herself through school when she gets older, she can move on. It doesn`t make her bad person. It`s the way we perceive what a bad person is because they have sex with multiple partners. You can be married to a guy for a long time and having cheat on you, bring you home HIV. Come on!
PINSKY: All right. Susan, thank you for that note.
Janette in Idaho, you want to ring in also -- Janette.
JANETTE, CALLER FROM IDAHO: I`d like to make some comments because I have a similar type of a situation here. I`m a mother of seven children. I have 18 grandchildren.
But after I have my seventh child, I wanted to have a breast implant. I believe this lady that`s there has a breast implant. Not to attack her.
JANETTE: But I feel she`s turned her breast implant trying to beautify herself into porn, instead of taking the money that she had to be able to support her children. I was a single parent with seven children trying to support seven. And not getting child support from the fathers.
So I had it tough. I had it tough.
PINSKY: Janette, you do have it. I have to go to break. I`m sorry.
And a viewer actually wants to know who here has history of sexual abuse. That`s something I`m going to ask all three of you because it`s very common in my experience of treating these conditions, a very common experience. And my concern is that`s not the way we treat sexual abuse by encouraging you to do these kinds of things. There are other things out there, even though you might be OK with these choices.
Thank you for calls. Again, after the break, we`ll continue with the calls at 855-DRDREW. Do not go away. We`ll continue this conversation, and be right back.
PINSKY: All right. Tonight, we are speaking with mothers with x- rated careers.
We`re going to back to the phones.
Carrie in Iowa, you had a comment?
CARRIE, CALLER FROM IOWA: Yes. Hi, Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: Hi, Carrie.
CARRIE: I think that good mothers can be porn stars and that porn stars can be good parents. Embracing our sexuality is healthy. The only circumstance as I can think of that it would be wrong is if the mother felt forced into it and --
PINSKY: Well, the kind of - -Carrie, the desperation they are all feeling kind of forced them into it, they seem to have done it on behalf of their kids in almost every case here. I want to ask the question here that I asked before the break, which was the sexual abuse history. One of the callers or Facebook question brought.
And you said you were sexually abused.
EVANS: I had issues when I was very young.
PINSKY: Yes, which is sort of typical. Was that ever treated in any way?
EVANS: I went through therapy.
PINSKY: OK, fine. Stop right there.
Shelley, did you have that history?
LUBBEN: Absolutely. I also have classic porn star background with sexual abuse.
PINSKY: OK. All right. I`m working my way through this.
Barbie, how about you?
BARBIE GIRL: Absolutely not. I`m just sexually-drived.
PINSKY: So -- and, by the way, sometimes it`s child on child sexual abuse that gets missed. That`s one of the more common things, when people go, I was playing doctor in and it went far. No, that`s sexual abuse. Somebody abused the child and that child acts out on other children.
Shelley, you had a comment about that.
LUBBEN: I want to know when she first had sex.
PINSKY: How old, Barbie?
BARBIE GIRL: Me?
BARBIE GIRL: I was 14.
PINSKY: OK. Nothing --
LUBBEN: It`s sexual abuse, because it is illegal under the age of 18 to be sexually violated.
PINSKY: But let`s all define (ph) --
BARBIE GIRL: It was with another 14 year old.
PINSKY: OK, that`s still, believe it or not, that`s still sexual abuse, believe it or not. That`s actually illegal.
And, by the way, we`re going to have a whole topic about sex offenders coming up and some of those guys that were 14 having sex with 14 year olds ended up on the sex offender list, which is part of the discussion that`s coming up.
Kim in Illinois, do you have a quick question? We have just about a minute.
KIM, CALLER FROM ILLINOIS: Just a comment. Hi, Drew.
PINSKY: Hi, Kim.
KIM: I feel this is how a single woman of sound mind and body chooses to support her family, let it be their choice.
PINSKY: Wow. You guy are almost universally -- I`m really surprised. Everyone woman call, I`m -- God bless you for standing up for women. I think that`s fantastic.
Almost every caller is standing up, but Shelley, let me go back to Shelley though. But, Shelley, you understand the spiritual, physically, emotional toll it takes.
LUBBEN: Yes. And I don`t understand. These women that are calling in, they have no experience being in the sex industry, so they`re just talking like perhaps they like pornography, I don`t know.
But I know for a fact these women have already said they were desperate. They needed to work to support their children. So, that shows me they didn`t really want to be there. They don`t really enjoy making pornography. They don`t really enjoy being in the sex industry.
So, my heart is for them, is that they are made for greater things and I personally would love to help them do better things that`s better money than they`re doing right now. Why not go to school? Why not do something great?
So, I have my Pink Cross Foundation where I help women get out of the sex industry and make better lives for themselves where they can respect themselves.
PINSKY: Shelley, I am going to interrupt you. I may call upon you because I do get referrals (INAUDIBLE) time.
Alana, 15 seconds, last word.
EVANS: I absolutely respect myself. I`m in this business because I want to be. You can`t take that away from me. My experience is not yours.
PINSKY: OK, fair enough.
Shelley, thank you. You`re still shaking your head, Shelley. I`ll bring you back to keep this conversation going.
Barbie, thank you.
And, of course, Alana, thank you. I do appreciate it.
EVANS: Thank you.
PINSKY: So, how would you guys like a community of sex offenders living in your backyard? That`s right. Tell us what you think about that and that`s our next story. Call me now at 1-855-DRDREW5.
It`s a guy that`s putting a bunch of sex offenders in single houses in your community. Sounds like a cool thing. Not?
Be right back.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY (voice-over): Coming up, sex offenders need a place to live too, right? Wrong according to some residents of Orlando. They`re fired up over a community of convicted rapist, sex abusers, and child molesters. The man with the plan, a convicted sex offender, himself. He`s here and he`ll answer my questions and yours about this controversial and some say crazy idea. 1-855-DrDrew5.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY (on-camera): All right. Now, I want your calls, but, I`ll tell you what. After we talk about this sex offender living environment conversation, I want to take calls on any topic. Potpourri. Anything you want to ask me, medical, psychological, interpersonal, sexual, whatever it might be, call 855-DrDrew5, 855 (ph). I will take any and all calls on any and all topics.
I have a feeling this whole thing, we`ve been talking about, so far, may be part of the conversation still, because it`s generating a lot of calls. I`m really surprised. So many at HLN women in the audience were very supportive of Alana and her choices, but so be it.
All right. A registered sex offender in Florida is creating a housing community for fellow sex offenders. He`s a sex offender, and he`s creating homes for other sex offenders. He`s buying homes in Florida neighborhood and then rents the rooms in those houses to convicted sex crime offenders. Some of them -- some of these homes house up to six people with criminal sexual history.
And randy is joining us now. Randy, critics are getting quite excited about this. You say you`re actually protecting the community from sex offenders. Explain that.
RANDY YOUNG, CEO, HOUSING FOR SEX OFFENDERS: In the state of Florida, sex offenders are allowed to live as homeless. And in places like Miami, there is more than 200 homeless sex offenders living on the streets. Very hard to monitor and supervise, whereas if they are in homes, then, it`s fairly easy for the law enforcement to check them out.
PINSKY: OK. Hold on a second. I want to put a map up here. Can I move -- put this map up of the number of sex offenders in, I think, just Orlando alone. Can you put that up for me, guys? It`s coming up here. Just give me a second, everybody. OK. Look at that. Look at this. I`m going to get out of my light here. I`m sorry about that.
This is sex offenders in the Orlando area. They are everywhere. I mean, it`s really rather astonishing how many, how much -- I mean, I saw that and I was, like, wow, that is incredible. So, he`s talking about concentrating them in certain areas. I can`t imagine that the neighbors in the neighborhoods are going to be happy about having the concentrations. Wow. Our callers want to react. Rene in California, go ahead.
RENE, CALIFORNIA: Oh, my God. This is sickening. You know what, they ought to get all of these blipyty (ph) bleep sex offenders, put them in a big hole, and just execute all of them, because they`re never going to change. They have their mind set a certain way, and there`s no doctor that can help them. You know, I don`t even think you could help them, Dr. Drew, and you`re awesome.
PINSKY: Thank you. Thank you. Well, Randy, how do you respond to that?
YOUNG: Well, certainly, a lot of people feel that way, and I`ve heard that sentiment many times and worse. But the fact is that they`re not going to be put down in a hole and executed. So, what do we do, in the meantime? And what I say is we want most of these people need to be supervised, need to be monitored, and I am trying to find property that complies with the local and state laws to where they are supervised. And, that`s my job.
PINSKY: OK. I got you. And Melissa, you`re in Houston. What`s your question or thoughts?
MELISSA, HOUSTON: I don`t know about the laws in Florida, but I think they`re probably more lax than they should be.
PINSKY: Hold on a second. Hold on -- weird things happen in Florida? I`m stunned. Every time I have to be report something troubling, it seems to happen in Florida, but go ahead.
MELISSA: Because if they need to be supervised, then they need to be in prison. They don`t need to be (INAUDIBLE). In Texas, once they`re off parole or probation, they don`t have -- they have to run to service (ph) zone that`s fairly have to the 500 meter, whatever it is --
PINSKY: All right.
MELISSA: And if (INAUDIBLE), they could be in public parts and that sort of thing, but, you know, there`s not the hole and execute, because we all have choices, and you can`t execute people for --
PINSKY: no, of course not. Yes.
MELISSA: -- unless, it involves another life.
MELISSA: However, you can ship them off to an island far away. They can all live there together. They won`t have to worry about getting a job. They`ll all work with each other. They`ll live with each other and violate each other and that`s just one all big island where they can hold up (ph).
PINSKY: Melissa`s island of sex offenders. It sounds like a Utopia. I tell you, it`s a far cry from Houston, my dear. My goodness. Well, thank you for that Utopian sort of solution. Shirley in Ohio, go right ahead.
SHIRLEY, OHIO: Yes, Dr. Drew. I have grandchildren that live in Florida and the Orlando Area.
SHIRLEY: And I am very concerned about them and all of these predators down there. And I want to know what my daughter-in-laws and them can do to protect these children. How do they find out who is the predators? Is there a list?
PINSKY: Well, yes. Randy, they can look online, I`m sure, in Florida, right? Is there a website that people can consult to sort of help protect themselves and be aware?
YOUNG: Absolutely. FDLE maintains the sex offender registry, and you can put in your address, and it`ll show all the ex offenders within half a mile or within five miles.
PINSKY: And Randy, do you try to select homes that are in -- you know, there`s a lot of elderly people down in these areas. Do you try to select a neighborhood that way? Are there families in this neighborhood? Do you watch out for that kind of thing?
YOUNG: Well, I do try-- first off, you know, I mainly help and have geared this company towards helping the elderly sex offenders. So, most of our clients are veterans and senior citizens and persons with disabilities. So, yes, I do put them in adult communities. I look for homes that do not have children, and of course, they do comply with the thousand foot state law. In this state --
PINSKY: And Randy, I`m going interrupt you, Randy and say, are lot of these guys -- you know, there are sex offenders and there are sex offenders. And there are some people that we were talking earlier to the women that were making their own choice about their lifestyle, and one girl said she`d had sex when she was 14 with a 14-year-old, and that 14-year-old male is technically a sex offender.
Do you have a lot of those kinds of sex offenders? Teenage kids get caught in things that sort of technically are sex offense.
YOUNG: I do. Of course, I have to say that I have a lot that have committed crimes that I think are horrendous, also.
PINSKY: Do you offer them treatment? Do you offer them treatment? Do you try to get them -- there are people who will treat that. It may not work many times, but there`s a possibility.
YOUNG: The treatment is mandated by the state, and the treatment is offered here in Orlando. In fact, it`s only a couple blocks from many of the homes that I have. They have to go to intensive sexual treatment once a week and also have a polygraph test once a year of which they ask them what they`re thinking.
PINSKY: And, Randy, you`re a recovering sex offender, yourself?
YOUNG: That`s correct.
PINSKY: And how bad was it for you?
YOUNG: Well, in Florida, there is not a tier system. In my crime was lewd and lascivious conduct, which is not assault or battery or exposing or any of that. I just presented myself in a bad situation. There was not sexual contact --
PINSKY: OK. Obviously, we have an offender who lives at one of Randy`s homes. He`s on the phone. Chaz, now, you got kicked out of your last apartment because you lived too close to a park. How tough is it for a sex offender to find housing in Florida?
VOICE OF CHAZ, RENTS ROOM AT `HOUSING FOR SEX OFFENDERS`: It`s very difficult.
PINSKY: And is this situation working out for you with Randy?
CHAZ: Yes, it is. I`m glad that I found him, and he`s provided a lot of help for me. He`s got me situated.
PINSKY: All right. Linda in California, go ahead -- Linda.
LINDA, CALIFORNIA: Hi. Thank you, Dr. Drew. Thanks for taking my call.
PINSKY: My pleasure.
LINDA: I live close to a halfway house with, I don`t know, 20 men. They come and go, and they rotate. And there was a sex offender in there, but we don`t have any rights because they can live in a common house anywhere. There`s real estate guy buying up the property here in California and putting all these guys in the house. I can`t let my children outside.
WE don`t go out in bathing suits. People don`t want to come visit me. I can`t baby sit my nieces and nephews, have birthday parties, et cetera. So, why do they have more rights than we do?
PINSKY: Randy, a response to that?
YOUNG: Absolutely. What I`m doing is complying with the law. It`s not what I say the answer is. I think these restrictions on residency stop people from living in areas -- sex offenders living in areas where they should live. Close to their families where there`s a support group.
The law says in many places, and I think California says 2,000 feet from where children congregate. That forces them into these clusters and forces me to put them in clusters.
PINSKY: Randy, I`ve got to go to break. Thank you for joining us this evening. Chaz, thank you and thank you to the calls.
The next block and the phone number, 855-DrDrew5, anything. Let`s mix it up here. I want to get right to your calls and get as many calls as I can. Relationships, addiction, medical issues, whatever it might be, any comments of what we`ve been hearing here, so far, tonight. It`s 855- DrDrew5, addressing anything, after this break. Be right back.
PINSKY: All right. Welcome back. Like I said, anything you want to talk about. 855-DrDrew5. And of course, we always say no topic is taboo. We`re going to start with Mary in Minnesota. Go ahead, Mary.
MARY, MINNESOTA: Hey, Dr. Drew. How are you?
PINSKY: I`m great, Mary. What`s on your mind.
MARY: OK. I`ve got a question. Are people who had gastric bypass surgery more prone to getting alcoholism because of the way they now absorb anything they intake?
PINSKY: It`s a very interesting question. And I`ve seen this many, many, many times. It was not even reported in the literature when I first started seeing it. I was noticing these people who clearly had the genetic potential for alcoholism were obese but were not drinking excessively would, all of a sudden, come in after the gastric bypass would exploding with alcoholism, all of a sudden.
It just explodes. And that has to do with the way the alcohol is dumped into the system. The rate at which it gets into your brain, the rate it gets with your blood system because of the bypass is so intense that it really triggers alcoholism, and people who may have been kind of trembling (ph) along are doing OK. Is that you? Do you have that problem?
MARY: Yes. I had that bout. I`m not using that anymore.
PINSKY: Good. Are you in the program?
MARY: Yes, I do have a program.
PINSKY: Congratulations. I interrupted you. You think what?
MARY: I just want to say, I think a lot of the treatment centers are filling up with people that have had this experience.
PINSKY: That`s right.
MARY: Plus, you also have to look at, well, would they have an addiction type addicted personality to begin with.
PINSKY: Well, right.
MARY: And I did.
PINSKY: And also, my dear --
MARY: And I did.
PINSKY: Of course, you did, because that`s why you got alcoholism.
MARY: No. That`s why I got obese, too.
PINSKY: Well, the obese and the trauma that led to obesity, too, right? You had some childhood trauma which -- people don`t look at that. It drives me insane that we don`t talk about that part of the obesity epidemic, because we have such messed up families. We have so much childhood trauma, and that`s driving some of that compulsive eating. And in your case, you`re clear. That`s what happened.
MARY: Yes. I wanted to protect myself at all costs. I didn`t --
MARY: Plus, I ate. Didn`t want to feel (ph) and I wanted to keep --
PINSKY: And keep people away. The body boundary keeps people away. That`s right. Listen, here`s the great news. I am delighted you can laugh about it now. Congratulations.
MARY: Oh, I am. I`ve come a long way in my recovery. And I love the show, Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: Thank you, ma`am.
MARY: Thank you.
PINSKY: I appreciate it. Let`s go to Brooke in Pennsylvania. What`s your question, Brooke?
BROOKE, PENNSYLVANIA: Hi. Dr. Drew, it`s good to talk to you. I`m going to throw this out here. I feel so helpless and out of control most of the time. I suffer from bipolar, DBT, PTSD.
BROOKE: I`ve gone through some tragic events lately.
PINSKY: OK. Brooke, I`m going to stop you. You said enough with borderline personality and the bipolar disorder.
PINSKY: So, you have some chronic severe psychiatric illnesses. It`s a liability that`s going to be with you probably your whole life.
PINSKY: These are things that -- please, put Brooke on hold for a second. I appreciate it. These are things that will be with you your entire life. They are things that are manageable and treatable. But like other chronic illnesses, like diabetes or asthma, there will be periods where things kind of spiral out of control a little bit.
But with medication and talk therapy and supportive therapy and something called dialectical behavioral therapy, it`s good for the borderline disorder, that is something to keep you kind of really on track and feeling pretty good. It sounds like, right now, you`re having a little bit of a tough time.
And as such, obviously, I would tell you to retrench with your treatment team. Toughen this day and age. Really, the scary, miserable part about is not the disease, but the fact that there are no resources, and people don`t have insurance. There`s very little mental health resource out there. Find ways.
Every community has a community mental health center. University and hospitals, oftentimes, have great resources. There`s a lot out there if you put in the work to find it. Let`s see our next caller up there. It`s Cleta in California. Go ahead there, Cleta.
CLETA, CALIFORNIA: Yes. Dr. Drew?
PINSKY: Hi, Cleta.
CLETA: I have a bone to pick with you.
PINSKY: Go right ahead.
CLETA: You make a big deal when someone dies from an illegal overdose of medication.
CLETA: I don`t see you making a big deal over the number of people who die more than die in a year from drug overdoses who die every day from smoking --
CLETA: -- and do not make a big deal over that.
PINSKY: Let`s make a big deal right now. I`m a thousand percent with you. Let`s do it. I`m a big prescriber of nicorette gum, nicotine lozenges. I use Chantix all the time. I just met with a whole room full of drug addicts that I want to get each of you need to stop smoking. They`re like, "I can`t. I`m not ready."
They need to. The fact is, if you`re going to stop a drug, you`re more likely to stay of that drug if you stop nicotine at the same time. It`s a massive problem. I totally agree with you, Cleta. What would you like to do about it?
CLETA: The problem is this. You facilitate your smoking habits.
PINSKY: I do?
CLETA: You do.
CLETA: You have nice little areas out in the yard.
PINSKY: Oh, just you know, in the state of California, very often in certain patient situations you are required to give them that. That`s the law.
CLETA: I know, but it doesn`t have to be pretty.
PINSKY: No, no --
CLETA: It doesn`t have to be comfortable where they`re laying on lounge chairs.
PINSKY: Listen, that`s a television set. That`s not where I practice every day. I`m sorry if that comes across as something encourages smoking.
CLETA: You should be, every day, instead of dealing with people who do stupid things with drugs, you need to deal with the 25,000 people today who die in smoking related issues.
PINSKY: Keep going. I`m with you. Keep going. Let`s go. Strokes, heart disease, cancer, lung cancer, colon cancer.
CLETA: Have your show on that --
PINSKY: No, forget about my show. I`ve got a show right here. I`m talking about it right now. Let`s do it. Let`s go. If you want to talk about the things that really have an impact on people`s health in this country almost universally, it is cigarettes and alcohol. I`m going to go to another call quickly before I take a break. Gigi in Ohio, go right ahead.
GIGI, OHIO: Hi. Dr. Drew.
GIGI: My daughter is 17. She`s been in rehab twice for marijuana.
GIGI: She`s been in foster care, because she`s been a troubled child.
GIGI: Her father and I have tried to help her. She`s done so good in this last year. She`s graduating, but she`s afraid to move on. I love her to death. And I don`t know what -- I tell her she`s done so good.
PINSKY: Move on from treatment? Is that what she`s afraid of?
GIGI: Yes. She`s cleaned, but now, she`s afraid. She`s like, mom, I don`t want to graduate. I`m afraid to do more.
PINSKY: Got it. Gigi, you sound really scared. And I think it`s reasonable to be scared. I`ve got a couple things I want to advise you. I`m going to take a break, and then, we`re going to finish off your calls and also take more of your calls at 1-855-DrDrew5. We`ll be right back.
PINSKY: We`re back. We`re taking your calls at 1-855-DrDrew5. And, I just want to remind you, guys, as we were going through these calls here, we got a lot of addiction stuff. People understand I do that, psychiatric stuff and family and what not, but I can do medical. We can talk about medical stuff, too. I practiced (ph) general internal medicine for almost 30 years.
It`s something -- whatever issues you want to talk about, I want this end of the show blocks to be about that where you can come, and we can talk about these things. Let`s finish up with Gigi. Gigi, you were frightened because your daughter was frightened.
PINSKY: I want you to know something. Your daughter`s fear to me who treats people like your daughter all the time is great news. I understand her fear. Your paralysis is a little bit of a problem, but her fear is great news. It means that she really understands how powerful her problems are. And, it`s appropriate for her to be fearful about getting out of structure and moving on.
What you need to do, A, is do something where you`re taking care of yourself, so she doesn`t also worry about you, Al Anon program, something like that. And, B, that she moves into structure. Some sort of real structure in her life and that she can stay connected to the teams and programs that she`s been getting in her treatment. You got that?
PINSKY: OK. That`s all you got to do. Her fear is a good thing. The people that really have trouble are the ones that just have no problem. They got it all together. Guess where they`re going? They`re going right back to their old patterns because change is hard. Change is really difficult.
PINSKY: And particularly when you have a disorder of motivation like your daughter, unfortunately, has when you`re really trying to change some powerful biology, it takes work. You should be fearful. And that`s what will keep her in the game, OK?
GIGI: Thank you so much.
PINSKY: Thanks, Gigi. Good job. Lillian in New York. What`s going on there, Lillian?
LILLIAN, NEW YORK: Hi, Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: Hi, Lillian.
LILLIAN: I wanted to know like how do you know when you`re ready to have sex? Like, how do you tell if you`re ready to have sex or not? And I have a second question after that.
PINSKY: How old are you?
PINSKY: OK. And you`re with a boy now?
LILLIAN: No. The last time I actually was with someone, I actually lost my virginity to him, but the problem was the situation I was in was actually with my therapist and stuff we discussed that she believes it to be rape. I don`t know if I took it in as rape or not.
PINSKY: Oh, boy.
LILLIAN: I`m kind of more disassociated with it.
PINSKY: OK. So, you`re disconnected from your feelings. You have something called disassociation. Did you have something happen in childhood that made you disassociate like that?
LILLIAN: I mean, I had emotional and physical abuse throughout my life.
PINSKY: OK. And that`s the disassociation. There is no easy answer to this. You`re definitely an adult so you want to be an adult. B, you want to be sure with your history that it`s not somebody that`s repetition of the old patterns and a sign that it`s the old pattern is that you`re really attracted to them, because attraction is what trauma turns into later in life.
You get attracted to the people that abandon and perpetrate, just like the people that did in the past, trying to make it right and master it. So, you want to sort of break those patterns. And finally, you want to be really sure this is somebody that deeply cares about you. That you feel safe with, completely safe, and that takes time.
So, you should wait that out. I`m sorry, Lillian. I actually have to go to break right now. I have, what, 20 seconds left. Is there another caller I can quickly try to take? Tanya, 10 seconds? No. Don`t make it.
All right. Thank you -- Tanya, there? Ten seconds? Not going to make it. Thank you, guys, for watching. Again, remember this number. We`ll talk about any topic you want to during the latter part of the show. We`ll keep taking this on call segment. We`ll take your calls. Thank you for watching. I`ll see you next time.