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Hope, Inspiration & Holiday Wishes
Aired December 26, 2012 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
DR. DREW PINSKY, HOST: Tonight, a DR. DREW ON CALL holiday special. We`re looking back at four amazing celebrity interviews from this year.
You remember her from "Taxi," but she remembers everything -- every moment of her life. The astonishing memory of actress Marilu Henner.
And "Real Housewife" Theresa Giudice gives me the real deal on her show.
But, first up, queen of mean to queen of lean. Lisa Lampanelli tells me about her weight loss surgery.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
LISA LAMPANELLI, COMEDIAN: Don`t you laugh, Gene Simmons. You`re nothing to look at. How did you come up with that hairstyle, genius? You catch "Planet of the Apes" on cable and go, hmm, now there`s a look.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY: And that, of course, is Lisa Lampanelli during A&E`s "Gene Simmons Roast", comedy`s "Queen of Mean" and author of "Chocolate Please" is here to talk about weight and maybe a food addiction.
She had a laparoscopic weight loss procedure in April and has lost quite a bit of weight I guess since. Her doctor moved 85 percent of her stomach. And so far she`s lost 60 pounds. There it is.
So, Lisa, some people look at surgery and say, oh my God, that is so aggressive, that`s so intense. Why did you decide to go to surgery?
LAMPANELLI: Well, you know, Dr. Drew, I have been trying to handle my weight issues by myself for 32 years. Ever since I was 18, it`s been a problem, every diet in the world, every therapy in the world and I said, you know what, my weight hit an all-time high after the I filmed "The Apprentice."
And I said, you know what, let`s take this into our own hands, get the surgery, make sure it`s safe first, get it, lose the weight, work on ourselves psychologically and make it work. So, you know, thank God it`s worked so far, 60 pounds less in three months.
PINSKY: And let me say, you look fantastic, but you always look great, Lisa. You and I have talked over the years about therapy and the emotional content of eating and sex. And is that something that you have been working on and just went as far as could you with it, or is that something you`re working on currently?
Well, I definitely am working on it every minute, especially now I`m working on it more intensely from the psychological aspect because surgeries are easier to screw up. You could lose all the weight you want. You could lose 100 pounds with this surgery and then gain it back, because you don`t the work on the psychological, emotional issues of why you really eat, which is why I always ate.
Any emotion was a good excuse. So, basically, you have to work on it all at the same time, plus put in exercise, portion control, and if it all works together, it won`t become a problem again. So, fingers crossed, everything will just converge.
PINSKY: And the other thing, Lisa, I`ve noticed, sometimes, when people have massive weight loss is they react emotionally to losing the weight. They have sort of a different relationship with their partners, with the world, with themselves.
Are you going through that kind of a transition as well?
LAMPANELLI: Well, I know this. I`m very lucky because my husband, Jimmy, also got the surgery a few months after I did. So, luckily, our relationship is getting closer because we`re going through the same thing at the same time, and I`m lucky enough that I have friends and family who have had these kinds of surgeries and who totally get it. They get it`s not an easy way out.
It`s a lot harder than any diet we`ve ever done. I mean, it`s the hardest thing that exists out there to do. So, people get it. And I`m lucky enough that I have people around me who understand it.
PINSKY: And that`s the first time I`ve seen pictures of Jimmy. I only know him as the colorful name you have called him over the years, which I guess I can`t say on television. But, I guess, we`ll get to meet him.
Let`s take some calls here first, Lisa. Amy in Texas -- Amy.
AMY, CALLER FROM TEXAS: Hi. I was just wondering were you really scared when you had the surgery? Was it painful?
LAMPANELLI: Oh, no, no. We got something called the gastric sleeve, which is basically laparoscopic that you make five tiny incisions and remove a lot of your stomach, and we had just the greatest surgeon in the world, Dr. Trevetti (ph) in Paramus who we were -- we checked him out. He had referrals. I loved him.
And I just felt like, you know what, it`s a matter of time before this gets so out of control that we`re in the ground sooner rather than later. So, I said let`s handle it now, get it done, and at least give us a chance of finally living happily ever after. No pain, no gain.
PINSKY: And Lisa, just to be clear, we are -- I am definitely not here advocating a particular procedure or even bariatric procedures at all, particularly not a particular surgeon. But if you have life-threatening obesity and you have done everything else, it is something that some doctors would recommend. It`s worked for Lisa.
Emma in Maine.
EMMA, CALLER FROM MAINE: Hello, Dr. Drew.
EMMA: Hello, Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: Hi, Emma.
EMMA: Hi, Lisa.
EMMA: My question is if you`re on state assisted Medicaid or something like that, they don`t pay for that kind of, you know, surgeries. And we got limited for counseling and stuff like that. So, it`s like really hard to, other than going to Overeaters Anonymous and trying to lose weight, to find a decent place to go.
PINSKY: Lisa, it`s really a struggle. I`m hoping that health care reform does something for these kinds of things, but go ahead, Lisa. We`ve got about a minute.
LAMPANELLI: Right. Yes. I was just going to say that makes it horribly hard, because we were lucky in that we have good insurance and we can afford to pay for it, but it`s just so sad when people can`t get the help they need.
And, by the way, Overeaters Anonymous is a great place to start, because I totally believe in 12-step programs.
And at least, it discusses the emotional issue, which I think for most people that`s the issue that truly contributes to weight gain.
PINSKY: And Lisa, let re-emphasize that again. Change is hard. It is really difficult to change, particularly, when it`s a powerful drive.
Twelve-step works. It`s free. Peer support is fantastic. Having other people who understand what you`re dealing is incredibly powerful.
Next up, now, emotional eating we`re talking about. We want to talk to you about that at 855-373-7395.
After the break, we have Jimmy, Lisa`s husband, who also went through this procedure. Talk to Lisa, talk to Jimmy, talk to me at 855-DRDREW5.
We will be right back.
PINSKY: Three months ago, she had a laparoscopic procedure and has lost 60 pounds as a result. Joining us now is Lisa`s husband, Jimmy Cannizzaro, who had the same surgery a month ago. Jimmy has lost 42 pounds.
And, Jimmy, before go on to talk about weight loss, I want to tell you something. I have known Lisa for a long time, and this is the first time I met you, and I want to tell you it`s a pleasure. You changed this woman`s life. She has been so happy since you came around, and I want to say thank you.
Lisa is a great woman and you really -- I don`t know, she`s got -- you made her happy. And congratulations for that. It`s a pleasure to meet you.
JIMMY CANNIZZARO, LISA LAMPANELLI`S HUSBAND: Well, thank you very much. Thank you very much. And I want to say thank you for being nice to her all these years.
PINSKY: Well, thank you for that.
So, let`s talk about the weight loss thing. Has it been easier to go through this with your partner or it is something you were contemplating already?
CANNIZZARO: Well, you know, we both talked about at the same time. I can`t imagine not doing the surgery after she had done it, because it would be kind of strange for her to be trying to save her life and me stuffing my face with pie.
CANNIZZARO: You know? And she`s looking at me going, hey, I`m trying to live longer and you`re killing yourself. So, I think it would be difficult for us not to do it at the same time.
PINSKY: And, Jimmy, are you doing some of the same work that she is doing in terms of trying to change the emotional context for eating and sort of the addictive quality that she has with food?
CANNIZZARO: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. I have also -- I`ve started -- I changed my life a little bit as far as getting back to the gym. I`m working out every day. I walk a 5K every day now.
CANNIZZARO: So I definitely -- yes. I definitely -- I change the way I eat. You think about everything you put in your mouth now. So, everything you decide to eat, you concentrate and go, do I really need this? No, I don`t need it. So --
PINSKY: All right. Let`s take some calls on this issue. Heidi is in Minnesota.
Heidi, you had a question or comment?
HEIDI, CALLER FROM MINNESOTA: Yes, hi guys. I was just wondering if you guys were concerned at all about switching addictions, going from a food addiction to a drug or an alcohol, because I know it`s really common.
PINSKY: Well, not only that, Heidi, but the procedure, this gastric procedure, particularly the ones like what`s called the Roux-en-Y, which is sort of reconnect the tubing, which is somewhat different than what these guys had, the way alcohol gets into the small bowel really increases the risk for alcoholism.
So, it`s: (a), are you switching to other behaviors? And (b), have you noticed anything with alcohol?
LAMPANELLI: Well, I`ll be honest, Dr. Drew, I`ve been working on this emotional quality of eating for so long that I know better at this point than to do that. I think 30 years ago, I would have done exactly that -- switched to shopping or gambling or men or sex or something, but now, it`s like, OK, I know better and I`d rather go to a meeting and handle it or go to the therapist and handle it.
And, basically, we don`t drink. We`ve never done a drug. We`re not those type of people, but I recognize where it could easily lead. So, you got to cut it off at the pass and say I`m not going to allow it.
PINSKY: Is it reassuring, Jimmy, to have your wife sitting there, she just start acting out a bunch of men if she hadn`t had all this therapy?
CANNIZZARO: I`m used to it by now.
PINSKY: I`ve heard her act. I`ve heard her act.
PINSKY: Let`s go to Jackie in Massachusetts -- Jackie.
JACKIE, MASSACHUSETTS: Hi, Dr. Drew and hi, Lisa. I`m so proud of you. You look wonderful.
PINSKY: She does look good.
JACKIE: My husband went through gastric bypass surgery, and he lost 120 (ph) pounds and has, like, extra skin, a lot of extra skin and stuff like that. He`s due for some surgery. It doesn`t bother me. I think it bothers him a little bit, but I`m also up for surgery pretty soon as well. And I`m a little worried about it.
So, have you got that yet? I mean, do you have that extra skin thing going, because that`s what`s freaking me out --
PINSKY: That is a common procedure that often will follow on these sorts of massive weight losses. Not everyone needs that, not everyone gets it, but some do. Have you guys thought about that, Lisa?
LAMPANELLI: Well, we`ve been advised to exercise as much as possible now, not just for our good health but also to, you know, try to reduce that as much as possible. And I think our loss is going to slow down enough. Mine already started slowing down. So, it`s not as extreme. So, hopefully, it won`t require that.
But if it does, if you feel bad about yourself, you got to get it done, if you can afford it. So, we`ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Hopefully, it won`t happen.
CANNIZZARO: I think the exercise is definitely key, though.
CANNIZZARO: You know, getting back into the gym is definitely key for that.
PINSKY: This next caller, I believe, is Pogie. Is that the name? You`re in California. Pogie, hi.
POGIE, CALLER FROM CALIFORNIA: Yes. Hi. Santa Cruz, California.
Liza, I love you. I was rooting for you. You were my favorite on "Celebrity Apprentice."
Hey, I just want to know, now that you`re going to be a skinny bitch, are you still going to be funny?
LAMPANELLI: Well, you know what`s funny about that, Dr. Drew, I had Pogie which I thought you said hoagie, and you were trying to throw in my face the name of a sandwich.
PINSKY: That was for Jimmy. The hoagie was for Jimmy. Just so you know.
CANNIZZARO: I appreciate that. Thank you.
LAMPANELLI: But you know what, I feel like I`ll never be a skinny one, because when I grew up, Dr. Drew, you know, we`re about the same age. When you were a size 12 now, you`re considered fat. Back when we were kids, 12 was small and that was kind of the smallest I ever was.
So, clearly, I`m never going to be skinny, but I`m going to be at least at a healthier weight. And I have always been funny all my life. So, let`s pray I don`t lose my funny gene. That`s the only one I can`t afford to, because who`s paying for these surgeries? Not him.
PINSKY: It`s sure funny.
And let me remind people of one other thing that while women with other women seem to be very focused on stick thin, research consistently shows that men like curves. Men like a little bit of something here and there. Some more or less, but always something.
So, this stick thin thing, you`re right, Lisa, is a relatively new thing. It is not necessarily the healthiest. It is not necessarily what women -- what men want.
Coming up, actress Lisa Rinna.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PINKSY: Tell us your personal story. Let`s hear it.
LISA RINNA, ACTRESS: All right. I`ll tell you a personal story.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY: Is the passion gone from your marriage? Well, it`s not for actress Lisa Rinna. She gave me some of the best advice of the year on keeping it spicy with the spouse.
Lisa Rinna and I want to help you and your partner put the spark back in your love life.
Now, I have been married for more than 20 years, and Lisa has been with your husband, actor Harry Hamlin, for more than two decades as well.
So what is successful for these long marriages? Well, Lisa reveals this in a new book "The Big Fun Sexy Sex Book" -- emphasis on fun and sexy sex.
A survey by CNN found that more than 40 million Americans are stuck in sexless marriages and this is an attempt to sort of address that, is it not?
LISA RINNA, ACTRESS: I guess so, in many, many ways. You know, I teamed up with Dr. Ian Kerner.
PINSKY: Who I know, who`s excellent.
RINNA: Who you said, yes, good --
PINSKY: I saw he was on the cover, oh, excellent.
RINNA: He`s amazing. You know, long story short, we met, and I had written a book back in 2008 called "Renovation." And that was about reinventing yourself at any age. And I opened up in one of the chapters about my loss of my sex drive after having our kids.
PINSKY: Babies, very, very common.
RINNA: Killed it. Dead. Done.
PINSKY: It`s very common.
RINNA: So, I opened up about it.
PINSKY: By the way, that`s God`s way of making sure we don`t have children right on top of each other.
RINNA: Except for Tori Spelling.
PINSKY: No, listen, it`s supposed to happen. That`s why men need to kind of suck it up a bit, particularly in the first year after the baby`s born. Because we`re busy taking care of children at that point. And that`s the priority. And then the sexy sex afterwards.
RINNA: Yes, absolutely. But mine was more than that. I really felt it was an issue. More than just, OK, we`re taking a break while we have the kids.
So, I write about it in the book. Women are coming up to me. They`re so -- they responded to it, like, so amazingly. I thought, OK, that`s really great. Maybe I`m helping.
Meet Ian, Ian says, hey, you know, I love your book, "Renovation," why don`t we write a book together about sex? And I thought, how great, because you`re an expert, I`m married. We could do a he said/she said and the book was born.
PINSKY: I see.
RINNA: We wanted it to be fun, accessible and get the conversation out there.
PINSKY: And although it is fun, you address serious stuff here. I like the fact you get into real significant medical issues and parenthood and everything else. The medical lifetime -- you know, the -- what am I trying to say? Across the life span where sex becomes an issue, addressing it, right?
RINNA: Yes, exactly. And there are so many things involved.
PINSKY: Oh, yes, there are.
RINNA: I learned so much writing this book with Ian.
RINNA: It`s not just, OK, I`m in a sex rut.
RINNA: There are so many issues.
PINSKY: Psychological, biological, interpersonal, and by the way, one thing that`s not emphasized enough is the perimenopause and menopausal issues, these days, guys, if you`re listening -- if sex, somehow, seem not interested at all anymore, think of medication, think of biology if you`re a little bit older and these have solutions.
Let`s take a couple calls. Shall we?
PINSKY: Let`s talk to Jesha I believe is the name in New Hampshire. What do you have for us?
JESHA, CALLER FROM NEW HAMPSHIRE: Dr. Drew, I`m not enjoying my sex life with my husband whatsoever and the rest of my life with him I enjoy tremendously.
PINSKY: How old are you?
JESHA: I`m 53, and he`s about 57.
PINSKY: Are you on any medication?
JESHA: No, I`m not at all.
PINSKY: OK. So to me --
JESHA: And he is for, you know, for heart and things like that. Diabetes.
PINSKY: So he has medical problems. Is he having erectile dysfunction also?
JESHA: Yes, actually, which is usually the secret that women keep and then you wonder why they`re so miserable.
PINSKY: So here we go.
JESHA: It`s probably that. Exactly.
And so to compensate his issues, what he says to me during sex are things that you would find, like, in porn.
PINSKY: Oh, goodness. That puts you off even more, I bet.
JESHA: A thousand percent, then it involves everything in your life - -
PINSKY: Jesha, I got a book to recommend to you.
PINSKY: Let me just say, honey, thank you for calling. That is such a poignant story.
Let me just say, having worked with a couple for many, many years, when they lose that part, they really lost something significant. You can hear the loss and the grief in her voice. She`s stricken.
RINNA: Absolutely. And, clearly, they`re not connecting --
RINNA: -- in so many ways.
PINSKY: Where do we start?
RINNA: Where do we start? There are so many issues that are touched on in the book. I mean, you`ve got --
PINSKY: Let`s go with the E.D., because E.D. is erectile dysfunction. You deal with that in the book --
RINNA: I think there`s four chapters on it, actually.
RINNA: Yes. We really deal with it.
PINSKY: So for him, heart disease -- by the way, for men out there who have erectile dysfunction, if you`re over the age of 30 and start to have that difficulty, heart -- it`s one of the very first presenting symptoms of heart problems. You should up get up on a treadmill.
Jesha`s husband has heart problems, has heart medication.
There are medical solutions for that. He should ask his doctor about that. He should think about that. This is an important part of the relationship.
Same thing for her, I would say. Taking post menopausal -- I mean, there`s all kinds of controversy about hormone replacements therapy. Where do you ring in on that?
RINNA: You know, it`s funny, because I`m getting closer and closer to that. It`s something I`m talking to my doctor about. I think it`s all personal and you have to talk to your doctor about it and find out what`s right for you.
I think hormonal balance is the most important thing however you can get it.
PINSKY: I agree with you. How about this guy harkening back to pornography? What do we do with that?
RINNA: Well, you know, I think it`s his way, obviously --
PINSKY: He`s trying.
RINNA: He`s trying. Clearly that might be where he`s getting his satisfaction right now. So maybe there`s some way that you can come to -- you know what I`m talking about.
PINSKY: I know what you`re talking about. It`s a very lovely way of painting that picture.
RINNA: So maybe there`s some way they can meet in the middle.
PINSKY: Yes. Right, right. Good point. Always compromise and talk about it.
If this is something that helps him with arousal, do it in a way not being off-putting to her.
RINNA: Of course. And if he talks to her, honey, this is something I need you to do. She maybe more open to helping him out.
PINSKY: Sex, while it can be good, can sometimes be a cover for intimacy, can it?
RINNA: I think it can if you`re not really talking and you`re not really going there, and you`re not going through the fear a fire as I like to call it.
PINSKY: What does that mean? Describe it.
RINNA: Walking through the fire? Well, like, really, it`s hard to describe but getting down and dirty.
PINSKY: Like being willing to listen to each other`s fantasies, dreams, desires, and trying to compromise and achieve.
RINNA: Yes. I think so.
PINSKY: Or you`re going to have to tell me --
RINNA: Really being vulnerable.
PINSKY: You`re going to have to tell me a personal story about being vulnerable.
RINNA: I will. I talk about it my book. Absolutely.
PINSKY: When we get back from the commercial.
PINSKY: I am back with actress Lisa Rinna. She`s the author of the "Big Fun Sexy Sex Book."
Now, Lisa, before the break, we were talking about walking through the fire and being vulnerable. And I said, tell us your personal story. Let`s hear it.
RINNA: All right. I`ll tell you a personal story. I, after having my child, my first daughter, Delilah, had severe postpartum depression. I kept it a secret. I didn`t say a word.
PINSKY: To anybody in your family, or anybody in the world?
RINNA: To anybody in the world.
PINSKY: So your husband didn`t realize?
PINSKY: Oh my goodness.
RINNA: He thought I was just nuts. He had no idea what was going on. And I was so hopeless and felt so lost that when I finally, 10 months later, opened up to him and told him how worthless I felt, my self-esteem was gone. I didn`t want to have sex, obviously, that was part of it.
But it was opening up something that I felt so much shame about was the most valuable thing that I could have done.
PINSKY: That`s a very important message for any moms out there that might be experiencing that because you`re supposed to be joyous and happy and available, and you`re feeling worthless and angry and irritable and disconnected from your spouse.
RINNA: Horrible. It was really, really challenging, obviously. I mean, women that have gone through it know that.
But I suffered silently. I don`t want any woman to ever have to do that again. You have to talk about it. You have to be open to your husband and you have to call your doctor, certainly.
But it was that connection that I had with Harry, once I opened up and said, you know what, I feel worthless. I have no self-esteem. I am lost. I`m hopeless.
I mean, I`m a very positive person. I`m a go getter. I was gone and I was scared to death. I thought I would lose him.
PINSKY: Oh, my goodness. You figured if he knew how bad you were feeling he`d leave?
PINSKY: Oh, goodness gracious.
RINNA: Yes, absolutely.
PINSKY: Do you know exactly what you were doing at precisely this moment 20 years ago? Well, Actress Marilu Henner does. She remembers every day of her life in detail. That`s what made her one of the most fascinating celebrity interviews of this year. I tested her memory right here and asked her about John Travolta and the "Taxi" days. That`s next.
MARILU HENNER, AUTHOR, "TOTAL MEMORY MAKEOVER": How can you yell into a face for 15 minutes and then forget the face you yelled into?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Do you really mean that you`re a cab driver?
HENNER: Yes, I am.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I was right.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I find that rather hard to believe.
HENNER: Well, I am. Alex and I are both cab drivers.
PINSKY: Now, many of you, of course, know her for her role in the memorable series "Taxi," but what makes my next guest even more remarkable is her superior autobiographical memory. She remembers the details of every single day of her entire life. And her new book "Total Memory Makeover" can help you, right?
HENNER: Yes, you can.
PINSKY: -- can help you and your memory. And only 12 people in the world have this, is it an affliction or a blessing?
HENNER: No. It`s a blessing. It`s a total blessing. Yes. And you know, I`m sure there are going to be so many more. And they`ve actually found a few more, but the 12 of us, they`ve written the paper about which comes out in the fall that Dr. James McGau (ph) has written about. And the whole thing just came about a few years ago.
I mean, I`ve always had an unusual memory, but it was only recently. And the whole "60 Minutes" thing that happened that they even had a name for it.
PINSKY: Oh, really? So, they studied you and they found other people like you.
HENNER: Yes. Well, they studied a woman by the name of Jill Price (ph) first, and people were saying, oh, there`s a woman on television who has your memory. And then, I found out from Leslie Stahl which she was offered the story and turned it down, because she said, oh, it`s not that unusual. I have a friend, Marilu Henner --
PINSKY: Yes. Everyone`s got it.
HENNER: So, that`s how the whole thing kind of started.
PINSKY: Can the book actually help somebody with an average autobiographical memory?
HENNER: Absolutely. You know, I`ve been teaching classes for a long time, even before the whole "60 Minutes" thing came about. I`ve been fascinated by memory my whole life. So, I just started noticing things about people, and when I taught these classes, I would make, you know, make up these theories and stuff and then try them out on people and do some of the things that I just did naturally since I was very young. And people`s memories come back in ways that they just can`t believe it.
PINSKY: And I think some people would think you have a photographic memory, but that`s not really it. I`ve had patients that have photographic memories.
PINSKY: They literally can photograph the page and then read it, you know, back to themselves. It`s crazy, which is different. And they may not remember what they did when they were 13.
HENNER: Right, exactly. Exactly. They might not remember when they, you know, years later where they were when they read that piece of paper.
PINSKY: Right. You and I, I met your children one time --
PINSKY: -- about 12 years ago, probably.
HENNER: I can tell you exactly when it was. It was September the 1st of 2001. It was actually a week and a half before 9/11, and it was a Saturday. Do you remember where we were?
PINSKY: We were at a friend`s house in sort of towards Pacific Palisades. And Judith Reagan was there.
HENNER: Yes. That`s right.
PINSKY: It was her friend, really.
HENNER: It was Karen --
PINSKY: Right. That`s right.
HENNER: It was at her house.
PINSKY: At her house. And your kids were there. And I heard your kids speaking. They apparently have some genetic stuff, too. I went, Marilu, do you understand? That is not the way a seven-year-old normally speaks. And you`re like, yes, yes. Yes, yes, I know.
HENNER: I know.
PINSKY: And so, now, they`re in grad school and they`re 12.
HENNER: That`s right. That`s right. My younger one, especially, shows signs of having this. And my older one is, you know, they`re both very, very smart.
HENNER: Yes. Thank you.
PINSKY: Do you think it`s genetics and environment?
HENNER: You know, I definitely think, for me, there was a combination of nature and nurture. I think I was definitely born with something, but I think that not only did it help me as a person, as an actress, as just being different from my brothers and sisters, it was something that I loved to do. I love the time traveling of --
PINSKY: It was gratifying.
HENNER: -- going back. Yes. Or meditative in a way.
PINSKY: I understand -- I got a little bit of this, too. And I understand that it`s also associated with OCD. I got a little bit of that, too.
HENNER: I don`t. They tested me for that. I don`t have that. Somebody the other day said, oh, are you on the Asperger`s, you know, spectrum? No, I`ve been tested for everything. And it`s just that I`m just a girl with a really good memory.
PINSKY: All right. Let`s take some calls. Jon in California. What do you got for us?
JON, CALIFORNIA: Hi, Dr. Drew and Marilu.
JON: Are there exercises we can do to actually strengthen our memory, particularly, when we`re getting older?
HENNER: Well, I think everyone can strengthen their memory, you know, when they`re young, when they`re old, at any time. It`s something -- it`s like your -- it`s like a muscle that you want to exercise as much as possible. I think a certain consciousness as you go through your day. I also think paying attention to -- I describe it as APR in the book. You know, anticipation, participation, recollection.
We are always in the state of that. You`re always looking forward to something. You`re always, you know, in the middle of something. And you`re always recalling something. And the more you do that throughout your day, the more you just do a little mental snapshot or take a sound check or whatever, the faster you`ll become at remembering certain things.
PINSKY: So, some piece of this is an attentional mechanism.
PINSKY: If you just direct your attention to what you`re experiencing and trying to file it. Is that --
HENNER: Yes. And also if you play to your strengths. One of the things I really noticed in my memory classes is that everybody was remembering things differently. And, when I realized that there were sound people, you know, visual people, tastes, smell, touch people. That`s how they were recording memories, storing them, and then being able to retrieve them, and when you play to that strength as well.
I keep using this as an example. Sometime, a very visual man is married to a very auditory woman, and he`ll say, she remembers everything I said in that argument. And she`ll say, he just remembers me standing there shaking my finger at him. You know, and it`s like we just record things so differently, and then, we`re able to retrieve them. So, play to your strength. If music brings something back for you --
PINSKY: Use the hook.
HENNER: Use the hook.
PINSKY: Use that hook.
HENNER: People just don`t know how to use their hooks as much, because they think memorizing is memorizing a list, memorizing a deck of cards, memorizing people`s names. It`s really using your life, your story, which is on your mental hard drive, anyway, bring it forward, and then let it help your future.
PINSKY: I wonder if you got to have an emotional hook, too --
PINSKY: Because I`m actually having an experience sitting here with you. I`m going to use my emotional hook and tell you. Well, this is interesting. I don`t know if I`ve ever told you this. I remember when I was in college, I was living in Boston, and I was depressed. And I was finishing my organic chemistry and overwhelmed and trying to get into medical school.
And I went in on one night, I was alone, on TV, you were on the "Tonight Show." And David Letterman was the co-host. Do you remember this? He was sitting in. It would have been about year --
HENNER: It was 1979?
HENNER: August 22nd. The summer of 1979.
PINSKY: Yes. That`s when it was.
HENNER: Yes. Yes, yes.
PINSKY: And he was kind of all over you.
HENNER: I had a white dress on.
PINSKY: And he was so excited to meet you. He`s very taken with you and stuff like that.
PINSKY: God, she looks so cool. I should be able to meet people like that. Why am I not meeting people like that?
HENNER: See? And you probably haven`t thought about that in a long, long time.
PINSKY: That`s 40 years. Yes.
HENNER: 1979, yes.
PINSKY: But isn`t that interesting how life comes around?
HENNER: That`s so funny. And see, that`s what I`m saying. It`s like it`s in there. There`s never been anyone I`ve worked with that didn`t bring things back and say, oh, my gosh, you know? Wow, I didn`t even know I remembered that, and then it just comes flooding back.
It`s really something. And it`s very powerful. You know, it`s our -- it`s our strongest defense against meaninglessness that we have.
HENNER: Remembering -- yes. Your story is, you know, your memory is your story.
PINSKY: Well, it`s interesting. We`re treating people. We encourage them to make a cohesive narrative of their life that they own. They own their life. The interesting I have not thought about it being explicitly about memory.
PINSKY: Let`s take a quick Facebook. From Bebe is, "Now that you" -- how old you now?
HENNER: I just turned 60.
PINSKY: OK. Now that you`re 60, does -- I guess, it`s got a name.
HENNER: And that`s not hyperthymesia anymore. They`re not calling it anymore. It`s highly superior autobiographical memory.
PINSKY: OK -- have you noticed it changing or weakening as you`ve gotten older?
HENNER: No. Now, I`m remembering my kids, too. So --
PINSKY: It`s different than working memory and recall of names and things like that are typically what go with aging. That`s different than autobiographical --
HENNER: It`s different. Autobiographical memory, I think, you can even get stronger in some ways, because it`s like the more you have, the more you can cross connect information. So, something is always reminding you of things, anyway. And it`s a very powerful tool that we have to use in our lives.
PINSKY: And before we went to this segment, you said you`re always getting asked the same questions. What do you want to be asked? What do you wish people would ask you about this?
HENNER: I don`t know. More about how they can be helped, because I really think that, you know, I don`t want it to be, like, oh, Marilu and this thing that she does and whatever.
PINSKY: Everybody can do some of it.
HENNER: Yes. Everybody can do more than they realize. And I think, too, that I don`t want people to feel like, like, you know, oh, well, I just have a bad memory and I`m just going to go through my life, and she`s got a good one. It`s in there. I`m telling you. And I feel like it`s one of the most powerful tools we have in our lives to predict our future.
To make sure that those red flags that we may have seen before, that we`re ignoring, that we learn from them, that we can recall certain things and say, OK, I`m not going to overeat, I`m not going to overdrink, I`m not going to gamble. You know, if we don`t bring some of that information from our past to our present, we`re never going to change anything. Any behavior.
PINSKY: From an evolutionary perspective, that`s probably what its original function was.
PINSKY: To learn, remember where we put things, remember if the food was good, remember where the animals --
PINSKY: Whatever. Remember how to track an animal.
HENNER: I talked about that in the book. Did you just see that?
PINSKY: No, I didn`t.
HENNER: Oh, that`s so funny.
PINSKY: We`re sort of tuned in in some weird way.
PINSKY: And then, I imagine, exercise and diet are important part of --
HENNER: What`s good for your body is good for your brain. You know, I have a chapter in the book about that, too. It`s like whatever you`re doing, you know, it`s oxygen, exercising, it`s hydration.
PINSKY: Blood supply.
HENNER: All that stuff.
PINSKY: Marilu Henner, "Total Memory Makeover." Here`s the book. Take a picture of it. There it is. (INAUDIBLE)
HENNER: And watch "Unforgettable," too, because it is so great. The show that I`m a consultant on. Poppy Montgomery is brilliant, and the show, really, even next year, we`re going to have even more about this kind of character.
PINSKY: It`s absolutely a pleasure having you.
HENNER: Thank you.
PINSKY: Thank you for coming. I do appreciate it.
PINSKY: She became famous for public fights and attempted table flips, but, "Real Housewives of New Jersey" star, Teresa Giudice, was calm and collected when I talked to her last summer. She gave me the inside story about the popular reality show and what it`s like to be in that limelight. And that`s up next.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY (voice-over): She rose to fame as the feisty table flipping star of Bravo`s "Real Housewives of New Jersey."
Now, she`s a best selling author, star of NBC`s "Apprentice" --
DONALD TRUMP, BUSINESS TYCOON: Teresa, you`re fired.
PINSKY: And her face is splashed (ph) across the cover of countless magazine, but is reality TV fame tearing apart her family?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Believe me, I wouldn`t even waste my breath.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Then get in your car and go.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When I say something, you (EXPLETIVE DELETED) listen and shut up.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I said sorry. I mean, I don`t know what else to do. I can`t even look at you.
PINSKY: With yet another cookbook topping the bestsellers list, Teresa seems to have it, fame, fortune, and family, but at what cost? Teresa Giudice is right here to answer your questions. Call us at 1-855- DrDrew5.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PINSKY (on-camera): Joining us, Teresa Giudice. She just penned, as I said, her third cookbook. It is called, "Fabulicious: Fast and Fit." It is a bestseller. Teresa, now, apparently, this cookbook has caused some problems between you and someone in the cast. What`s that all about?
TERESA GIUDICE, "THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY": Caroline and I were on "Rachael Ray" together, so exactly what happened on "Rachael Ray" and I put it in my book. On "Rachael Ray," I said she was Italian as the olive garden, and that`s what I put in my book. The only reason why I put it in my book is because I put my meatball recipe on there.
PINSKY: Got it.
GIUDICE: So, that`s what she got offended by. When we were on "Rachael Ray," we laughed about it. So --
PINSKY: And then, she took issue with it later.
GIUDICE: But really --
PINSKY: It`s funny, Teresa, when things --
PINSKY: -- when things are in print, people seem to react differently to it. I`ve noticed that.
GIUDICE: And she also took offense to it. Excuse me. She also took offense to it when the cameras came on.
PINSKY: Yes. Robin Quivers, Howard Stern`s sidekick, -- I don`t want to call her sidekick -- partner in radio, I printed something that she and I discussed on the radio, because I printed it, she got very upset with me. I still am apologizing for that.
All right. Let`s take some calls for you. So, I`ve got Tammy in Maryland. Tammy, what do you got?
TAMMY, MARYLAND: Hi, Dr. Drew. And hello, Teresa.
GIUDICE: Hi, how are you?
TAMMY: I`m fine. It`s great to talk to both of you. Teresa, I was just wondering, there was all kinds of speculation around, you know, the financial stuff going on and stuff. And I was just wondering if things are going better for you guys.
GIUDICE: Yes. I don`t know if you heard, but we did withdraw from bankruptcy. So, things are really good. Thank you.
TAMMY: Yes. And I`ve been praying for you guys. I absolutely love the show. I love you. I think you`re an awesome person. The family`s awesome. And you stay strong and I love your book. "Fabulous: Fast and Fit." I love it.
GIUDICE: Oh, thank you so, so much.
PINSKY: Thanks, Tammy.
TAMMY: Thank you.
PINSKY: Next caller, OK, is Darcie in Wisconsin. Darcie, what do you got?
DARCIE, WISCONSIN: Hi, Dr. Drew and Teresa.
GIUDICE: Hi, how are you?
DARCIE: I`m OK.
GIUDICE: Hi, how are you?
DARCIE: I`m fine. You know, it`s funny you talk about how things change on camera. When you are having a disagreement with someone, you know, on the show, why do you then re-tell the same event so differently than how it really happened, which, you know, of course, only enflames the negativity more.
And then, not take any responsibility and act like you have no clue why your family is so upset and hurt.
GIUDICE: What event are you talking about?
DARCIE: Well, like, for example, the morning -- the morning after the summer solstice party, when you were telling your husband about how Melissa told you to apologize to her. You know, you really over exaggerated that. Really, really did?
GIUDICE: I was. Well, I`m sorry you feel that way.
GIUDICE: Sorry you feel that way. I`m sorry you feel that way. I was telling my husband the story. That`s how I saw it. Now, I guess, we see it -- we see it differently eye-to-eye.
PINSKY: And you know, the interesting thing about reality shows is you get to see how much memory is not as accurate as we sometimes think it is, how many distortions everyone can have about their experiences in life. I`m going to go ahead to Gail in New York. Gail, go right ahead.
GAIL, NEW YORK: Hi, Dr. Drew and Teresa. Teresa, I have a great question --
GIUDICE: Hi, how are you?
GAIL: Wonderful. I think people ask you the same questions over and over again, but I kind of want to hit on a different note. I think it`s really hard when it comes down to it in life, all we really have is our family, and then, there are acquaintances.
I felt really sad this season when your own family started saying that you started to become very needy of your brother and that you had to realize that he had a wife and children, and really stepping back from that, looking at all the things that you went through in life. And most of us always need that one person to lean on.
And for you, it`s probably your brother. But how does that make you feel knowing that your family says things like that to you?
PINSKY: Hey, Teresa, before you answer that question, I -- it seems like it`s going to be a little bit involved there in the answer. So, I want to take a little break. And thanks for the question, Gail. I think it`s a good one.
I also curious with Gail alludes to so many things happening in your life exactly what that means. Maybe, you can tell me what you mean by so many things happened in your life. There are things that trauma in your childhood and that kind of thing is a very common thing these days. Certainly, in reality show, participants, we hear that all the time.
PINSKY: More of my interview with Terese. Plus, what you, the viewer, had to say to the reality star after the break.
PINSKY: Welcome back. We are speaking with Teresa Giudice from "The Real Housewives of New Jersey." We remember her as the table flipper, at least, I remember her from that, and I really do appreciate you being here.
And we had Gail in New York who was asking a question about your brother, whether or not -- I think she was asking whether or not you had sufficient support from him? Is that sort of how you took that question?
GIUDICE: Well, I only have one sibling, and he`s my only brother. So, we used to be best friends, and then, after he got married, things changed. I mean, it would be nice for him to be there for me, you know? I mean, I would love him to be there. I only have my parents, and he`s my only sibling.
PINSKY: Is there some estrangement? Is that what Gail`s talking about?
GIUDICE: Gail, did I answer your question?
GAIL: No. It was just in the last episode I really felt for you. I think that you`re such an amazing person. And you`re so -- you know, when you ask for your brother all the time, I just want my brother back. You know, and then, he always has something negative to say about you.
And then, in the last episode, your family said that you needed to realize that he had a wife and children. And I just thought that was a very hurtful thing to say and just how you felt about that.
GIUDICE: No. I mean, I realize he has a wife and children, and I`m happy for him. I mean, I -- you know, when he first met her, I was so happy that he was getting married because I was already married. I had G (ph) at the time. And I couldn`t wait for him to get married, so our kids could grow up together. And then, I don`t know. Then, after he got married, things changed.
PINSKY: It`s not working out that way.
GIUDICE: And you know what -- yes. I mean, my father said, you`re brother and sister when you`re in my house. You know, sometimes, when different blood comes in, things change.
PINSKY: Take another quick call. Zack in Pennsylvania. You`re on with Teresa. Go ahead.
ZACK, PENNSYLVANIA: Hi, Teresa. Hi, Dr. Drew. My question is for both of you. What do you feel about our culture watching so many of these reality TV shows?
ZACK: And maybe at the expense of cultivating real intimate relationships with people that are actually around them.
ZACK: Because they`re watching these shows --
PINSKY: Yes, Zack, a great question. I have a minute to answer it. I hope that`s a question you`ll bring back into this forum again because it`s a great question. I`m going to let Teresa answer it. Go ahead, Teresa.
GIUDICE: What`s he asking?
PINSKY: He`s asking --
GIUDICE: What everybody thinks of it?
PINSKY: Well, reality shows are about drama and people behaving in not healthy ways. And maybe, we`re so preoccupied with these shows and the arousing quality they bring that we`re not really focusing on real intimate relationships and our own life. What do you think?
GIUDICE: Well, what you see in our show, you know, I can only speak for our show, what you see on our show is really happening. But I just want everybody to understand, when I came on this show, I came on for, like, with my friends and I just thought they were going to follow us around, you know, just what we normally do.
Shop, go out to dinner. I didn`t sign up to be on a show with my family, because I would have never done that. And I would never, you know, trash my family on national TV. That`s just not my style.
PINSKY: Teresa --
GIUDICE: Especially because I have -- especially because I have children, I would never do that.
PINSKY: OK. Teresa, thank you for joining us.
PINSKY: Thank you to all my guests. Everyone who`s good enough to join me throughout the year. And thank you, most of all, to you, the viewers. Happy Holidays from our family to yours.