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Arias`s Journals Revealed

Aired April 3, 2013 - 20:00   ET



UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How are you doing? Are you OK?

JODI ARIAS, CHARGED WITH MURDER: Not good! I feel like I`m going to puke!


ARIAS: I don`t know, but if I am -- if I go to trial for this and I am convicted for this, whoever did this is going to be sitting very (ph) free somewhere (INAUDIBLE)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Maybe she did do it. I don`t know. I just cannot even imagine her doing it! Jodi has mental problems! (INAUDIBLE) freak out all the time. I -- I`ve had quite a few (INAUDIBLE) get her some help.

The judge is a very intelligent person. How is it (INAUDIBLE) how could she come back here and be normal? And then when her friends called her and told her that he died (INAUDIBLE) freak out, like she knew nothing about it. I mean, how could somebody do that? Oh, I can`t -- I can`t even -- I can`t think of it, how anybody could do that!

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: A strange person because (INAUDIBLE) strange (INAUDIBLE) really (INAUDIBLE)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: "I love him," she writes. "I could not possibly love him not, though I wish I could stop, turn it off like a light switch, duct tape it down so it can`t turn back on. Or better yet, just cut the circuit, cut off its life source."


JEAN CASAREZ, GUEST HOST: Good evening. I`m Jean Casarez of "In Session," in for Nancy Grace. Thank you so much for joining us. We are right here in downtown Phoenix, Arizona, at the courthouse. This is the death penalty trial of Jodi Arias.

Now, after hours of hearing a defense expert try to convince a jury that Arias is a victim of abuse and that Travis Alexander was psychologically abusive for many reasons, one of which, dating multiple women, we now tonight take you inside Arias`s secret diaries. We have received from ABC News "Good Morning America" 600 pages revealing how Arias really feels about Travis Alexander before she is accused of his brutal murder.

But could these private diaries actually backfire on Jodi Arias during cross-examination? Let`s go straight out to Alexis Weed, NANCY GRACE producer, who was in the courtroom today. Alexis, what happened at trial?

ALEXIS WEED, NANCY GRACE PRODUCER: Jean, today we heard a half day`s testimony. Today, the defense expert, LaViolette -- she testified today that there was an escalation of violence. She walked us through Jodi Arias`s text messages with Travis, her e-mails, her journal entries.

And the point she was trying to make today before she felt ill and court was canceled until tomorrow -- her point she was trying to say, that there was an escalation of both emotional violence and physical violence against Arias.

CASAREZ: You know what I find interesting, Alexis, is that she -- her vantage point are these journal entries. She is not focusing in on her evaluation, her talking with Arias, but she`s going from the words on the printed page. And I also don`t see...

WEED: That`s right.

CASAREZ: ... that many questions from jurors that they`re putting in the basket.

WEED: No, we haven`t seen that, as we have in the past. You kind of wonder, are the jurors getting tired? Do they want to go home? Is that why they`re not asking so many questions?

And also, LaViolette -- she went on today for a very long time without any objection. She was able to talk through these journal entries. And Jean, remember that we`re hearing now testimony again about what Arias told LaViolette, not necessarily, like you said, her own evaluation of what was going on. We`re basing -- she is basing her evaluation off of Arias`s words, the journal entries, the text messages.

CASAREZ: All right. Well, in addition to all of this, Nancy Grace`s team was able to get from ABC News "Good Morning America" 600 pages of journal entries, many of which we have never seen before, that are the state of mind, allegedly, of Jodi Arias. They`ve been combing through, the staff, all of them today. We want to bring you the best of the best. Watch this.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: "I`m trying very hard not to be in a state of blame right now, but if it weren`t for Travis borrowing all of my money, I`d be in San Diego tonight. I spent $40 on two super Saturday tickets to see Jeff Olson (ph) and visit with my friends that I miss very much, but I`ve been squeezed dry and then some because of him."

"I drained my checking account to put money into his and then was hit with tons of fees, fees that he isn`t going to pay, $96 worth. And he has the nerve to tell me to balance my checkbook. Nay, he didn`t just tell me that, he screamed it at me, and then proceeded to say that he wants to get a gun and put it to his head and pull the trigger."

"I was crying because it distresses me to see him like that and because I know all too well and first-hand what it is like to be where he is. So it was with great compassion that I calmly, sweetly, to my best ability, soothingly told him that everything was going to be all right, that, like always, this, too, shall pass, that I promise everything will be worth it in the end."

"I wanted to soothe away his worries. He was under more stress than I had ever seen him. He was really despairing today. I lended him another $80. I went to the bank for him to deposit it into his account since he said he doesn`t want to step foot in that bank again today. By the time we had parted, things seemed a little better."


CASAREZ: All right, Matt Zarrell, NANCY GRACE producer, there is so much in that journal entry right there. But the headline is Travis actually said, at least in Jodi`s handwriting, that he was considering buying a gun. That hasn`t come into this trial.

MATT ZARRELL, NANCY GRACE PRODUCER: No. In fact, this is the only mention we`ve heard of Travis having any interest in guns, at least regarding the evidence here. You know, we know that Travis went shooting with friends, but he always borrowed other people`s guns.

The other significant thing here is the date on it. It was February 1st of 2008. LaViolette today on the stand testified that at this point in their relationship, Arias is starting to distance herself from Travis and beginning to, quote, unquote, "move on" from Travis. But this journal entry shows that she`s not moving on from him. She continues to loan him money. She continues to help him.

So the big point here, and a point that the prosecutor will likely make on cross, is while Arias writes only some negative stuff and only does certain things, her actions, her physical actions with confronting other women does not match the testimony that we`ve heard so far.

CASAREZ: Right, the other side to the story. Alexis Tereszcuk, senior reporter for Radaronline, joining us from Los Angeles, all right, Alexis, here is what is interesting to me because there is so much that is left out of these journals.

And we heard Jodi`s explanation for it, but today the defense expert, LaViolette, really focused in on the laws of attraction, and that at this point in her life -- she even said that Travis introduced Jodi to the laws of attraction. I thought I heard it the opposite in court. But what are the laws of attraction to explain why we don`t have particulars in these journal entries?

ALEXIS TERESZCUK, RADARONLINE.COM (via telephone): The laws of attraction are basic -- they were a self help movie and books (INAUDIBLE) And it basically means if you put out good thoughts and good intentions into, they say, the universe, then good things will come back to you.

So Jodi`s excuse now as the reason she didn`t put anything in journals that were bad about Travis was because she didn`t want to write bad things. (INAUDIBLE) sticks out for me, though, is she`s accusing Travis of having feelings towards underage children, little boys and girls. Protecting a pedophile is not a good thing to put out into the universe, and allowing somebody else to hurt somebody is not doing (INAUDIBLE) is another excuse that Jodi came up with five years later.

CASAREZ: All right, we have got another journal entry we want to show you. This is courtesy of ABC News "Good Morning America." This is Jodi Arias in her own words. Watch this.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: "I haven`t written because there`s been nothing noteworthy to report. I turned down four offers for a date this Friday night, four separate offers. That`s mildly amusing. Instead, I`m going to a dinner at Brother Porter`s (ph) house. It`s for new ward members. I`m tempted to skip out, though, and go with my friends to the show. I could get some reading and journal writing done and probably take some great pictures, not to mention spend time with some good friends. Anyway, we`ll see."


CASAREZ: All right, I want to go out to the attorneys, Monica Lindstrom, defense attorney, joining me right here at the Phoenix, Arizona, courthouse, Darryl Cohen, defense attorney, joining us out of Atlanta.

You know, Monica Lindstrom, one of the points that this expert witness, LaViolette, is making is that the trips of Jodi Arias and Travis were bonding. It made them feel like a couple. They had memories from it. I mean, how special were those trips? That could be turned around on the defense to say that was a motive for murder because he wasn`t taking her to Cancun.

MONICA LINDSTROM, DEFENSE ATTORNEY: No, if you really listen to these journal entries, she really has a lot of love and a lot of affection for him. Now, there are some conflicts in the journal entries. She is putting some negative things in there. And although she says the law of attraction, she doesn`t want to put any negativity out there, but she`s telling the story of her life.

And what you see in these journal entries is the love and the friendship. You don`t see jealousy. You don`t see obsession. You see information about these trips. And just like the expert said, they were bonding moments and she enjoyed them and he enjoyed them.

So this isn`t only a case about some wicked woman who was obsessed and just trying to hurt him every chance she had. This was a loving woman who, for whatever reason, was pushed over the edge and did something horrible. But these journal entries showed that she loved him and they had a good time together.

CASAREZ: You know, Darryl Cohen, I don`t think anybody is saying that she didn`t love him. I think she loved him with her heart and her soul, I mean, to the point of prosecutors say it was murder, the defense says it was self-defense.

But my concern is that the defense is trying to say that she had these trips that were so bonding and so wonderful, but Cancun was in the "thousand places to go before you die." That`s the list they were checking off. She wasn`t going on that trip, and that`s motive for murder.

DARRYL COHEN, DEFENSE ATTORNEY: No, it`s not motive for murder, Jean. It`s a murder for being upset. This woman was conflicted. She loved him. She was battered by him -- not physically. She was battered because he took her money. She didn`t want to give it to him, but yet she reached out again and she gave it to him. Because she wasn`t being taken to Cancun, that was probably enough for her to be battered so very much that she snapped, and then it happened. That becomes self-defense, at least in her mind.

CASAREZ: Now, I am telling you, I`m in that courtroom and I`m watching the jury and I`m watching LaViolette. She`s credible. She is very, very credible. She very -- she speaks very clinically. It`s not emotional. She`s not trying to really verse (ph) herself on one side or the other. She`s just matter-of-factually being an expert on that stand.

Very quickly, we`re talking your calls. Let`s go out to Stephanie in Georgia. Hi, Stephanie.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hi, Jean. How are you?

CASAREZ: I`m fine. Thank you so much for calling.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Thanks. I was just wondering, Ms. LaViolette, while she was on the stand today, you know, she seemed OK, answering her questions, giggling here and there. How did Ms. Wilmott know that she was ill? Was there some sort of cue given back and forth? I mean, she answered the question, and then Ms. Wilmott asked to approach. We had the five-minute recess, we come back, and we find out she`s ill. So how did Ms. Wilmott know that she was ill? Was there some sort of cue given between the two?

CASAREZ: Great point. It`s a great point, Stephanie. I did not see communication, a five-minute recess, I saw LaViolette leave. And then I later saw her and she looked like she was sweating and she was very, very peaked (ph). And somehow, they got that message.



UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And I don`t know where she would have got a gun, if she got one. I mean, I don`t know. Jodi`s very secretive. Jodi doesn`t -- she doesn`t -- it`s the way she is. So what happens if she`s found guilty?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, she`ll be sentenced for however long they decide.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: For the rest of her life, probably!

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I don`t know. It`s not up to me. I don`t know. It depends on a lot of factors. She has to be found guilty first.



CASAREZ: Welcome back, everybody. We are here in downtown Phoenix, Arizona. I`m Jean Casarez, in for Nancy Grace tonight. We are right here at the courthouse where this trial is happening.

Nancy Grace`s team received from "Good Morning America" ABC News 600 pages of Jodi Arias`s journal. I want to read you something here. Here`s an excerpt where Jodi writes, "The problem with Travis is that he`s so used to girls falling all over themselves for him, and she" -- Mimi (ph) -- "doesn`t do that. He needs that. I really think he does."

All right, I want to go out to a really special guest today that we have joining us out of Denver, Colorado. It is Christina Dalpiaz. She is a domestic violence survivor. She has lived it. She knows it. And she has watched this trial. She is the executive director of Chance.

Thank you so much for joining us today. I first want to just get your observations as a victim, as someone who has survived. Was Jodi Arias a victim of domestic violence, as the expert testified today was her conclusion in court?

CHRISTINA DALPIAZ, EXECUTIVE DIR., CHANCE: Absolutely not. Women who are violently assaulted are afraid. They have reservation. They have hesitation. And they have remorse when they do something like this. She has not demonstrated any of that.

In fact, she has made it so appalling to me, and this expert witness - - I think the reason she`s sick is because she`s making herself sick. She`s realizing as she`s sitting up on that stand that she is verbalizing out loud what every batterer says when he excuses his behavior for what he`s done. She has made a mockery of victims of domestic violence, and I`m appalled. I`ve had guns put to my head. I`ve put -- had knives put to my head. And I have been terrorized, and I think that this is an atrocity.

CASAREZ: All right, let`s go to another one of Jodi Arias`s journal entries received today by Nancy Grace`s team from "Good Morning America" ABC News. Let`s listen to this one.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: "Well, speaking of Travis, he frustrates me and thrills me. I love, love, love him. And he sings to me, goes out of his way for me, displays massive amounts of unconditional love for me in countless ways. I`m almost haunted by it."

"But it still remains that I can`t marry him. I can`t quite put my finger on it, but something is just off with that boy. We`ve all got head problems. That`s for sure. But there are certain things that will never sit right with me about him. For example, he always makes that ridiculous, Joke families can be forever, why do you want to spend so much time with them now? I abhor that. I want a family man, a man who takes family seriously. I know he jokes, but that drives me crazy and it`s a big turnoff."

"But he has told me time and again that if he could marry me, it would mean he`d won the wife lottery. Smiley face. That`s sweet, actually. I know I`ll be an excellent wife. In fact, I really want that. I want to be married. I want to have a companion."

"Travis is awesome, no doubt, but there`s just something that is off. I only know what the spirit whispers to me, and that is that he`s not the one. Frowny face. I`ve spent over a year of my life cultivating a relationship with him. I certainly wasn`t thrilled. No, I was devastated when I discovered that he wasn`t being faithful to me."

"I just don`t get why men cheat -- Bobby, Matt, Travis. Darrell was always faithful, to my knowledge. He said once that he`s never had a problem with monogamy. And I believe him because I never had that awful intuitive feeling that his eyes, heart and hands were wandering the way I did with those other three. It is a subtle feeling, but it doesn`t go away. It nags. It pulls at the solar plexus until it is justified through the discovery of ugly hidden truths."

"Infidelity is so awful and causes ridiculous pain. Each time, the transgressor seemed grieved that I got hurt. Actually, not true. Travis seemed mildly remorseful, but that was it."

"I`m going to stop writing about this right now. It is of no benefit, but I could just rip out the last few pages, but I`ll refrain from doing that."




UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This last couple weeks, she has -- since Travis`s death, she has been -- the best relations that we`ve had in our whole life. And I said maybe this death has made her see that life is short and (INAUDIBLE) you know, you can`t -- you can`t be this way and it`s changing her. So -- so you know, the last few weeks have been -- I mean, I didn`t spend a lot of time with her, but I talked to her more than I have ever talked to her since she left the house at 18.


CASAREZ: You are watching right there an interview tape. That is Jodi Arias`s mother as she is questioned by police after learning that her daughter is going to be charged and has been charged with first degree murder. And she sits in that courtroom every single day in support of her daughter.

Welcome back to Arizona. I`m Jean Casarez, in for Nancy Grace.

I want to go out to Dr. Eris Huemer. She is a psychologist, a therapist. She is the star of Bravo`s "La Shrinks," joining us from Los Angeles. I want to ask you, do you think Jodi Arias was psychologically abused? Let`s not get into physical abuse, but psychologically abused.

ERIS HUEMER, PSYCHOTHERAPIST: I mean, I definitely think there was abuse on both ends of the relationship. But here you look at these tapes, and her mother seems to have so much more remorse than she did. So no matter what the abuse was, I definitely think that it speaks more to having some sort of mental illness.



UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: She would not even let me come down to Monterey to visit her and stay at her house because she was afraid I would snoop through her stuff. So that`s the kind of relationship she had. She -- she did not...


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: She did and I don`t - and I don`t know. I told her one day. I said you need some help, Jodi. I said you`ve got this fantasy in your head that you had a rotten childhood and that we searched your room all the time and we did all this stuff and we didn`t. And you need some help because that didn`t happen. The only time we ever searched her room was when she was in eighth grade and she was - we lived in Santa Rey (ph) and she was growing pot and we were getting ready to move. And I couldn`t find my tupperware container. She had them on the roof. Growing pot on the roof with her friends. And so we called the police and turned her in and wanted something done, you know, to scare her and whatever. And that`s the only time I have ever in my whole life searched her room. I don`t search my kids rooms now, which maybe I`d better start doing I guess. I don`t know.


CASAREZ: I`m Jean Casarez in for Nancy Graces. You are watching the interview that Jodi Arias` mother did. They call it an interview. It`s not interrogation. She wasn`t being charged. But it`s with law enforcement. When she realized that they seriously believed that her daughter committed premeditated murder. I want to go out to Monica Lindstrom, defense attorney. You know, Monica, many of the things that we are hearing in this have to do with mental illness, that Jodi never seemed right, that she would be smiling at one point, she would be crying at another point. Why didn`t the defense go a route of insanity or a she - crime of passion? Why did they go the route of self defense? Because nine out of ten people don`t believe her.

MONICA LINDSTROM, DEFENSE ATTORNEY: That`s right. That`s a great question, Jean. And I get asked that a lot. Why didn`t they go for the insanity? You have to be insane to do something like this to someone that you supposedly love. But here is the deal. They must have felt that their self defense argument was much stronger, but not only that, there wasn`t enough evidence to show that she was insane. Now, I think part of their argument is the defense is saying hey, this was self defense, but they have also laid enough groundwork and enough testimony and evidence to show that this was also a heat of passion. So, if they believe that this was not self defense, meaning the jury, it was not self defense then they might still be able to fall back on that heat of passion because Jodi was such an emotional person and had some of these challenges. So, that is a really, really good point and good question.

CASAREZ: All right, we`ve got more of Jodi Arias` mother in this interview with law enforcement when she realized the seriousness of what authorities were saying her daughter did. Watch this.


MOTHER: Jodi had a lot of plans for her future. How could she mess it up and do something that you say she did?

POLICE: Did you have any suspicion at all that she had anything to do with his death?

MOTHER: I asked her. I asked her, because that`s the first thing I asked her. And when she came home and she was fine and then when he died she didn`t call me even. She called my daughter and was just totally in tears. She cried for two or three or four or five days. And that`s the first thing I asked her. I said did you go to Arizona and she said no I was nowhere near Arizona and I have gas receipts and everything to prove it. And, of course, you would say - she swore, she didn`t go to Arizona. So, of course, I believed her. You know, but I questioned her about it. So I didn`t know she was leaving today. I - she told me she was going to go down to visit, but no, I don`t know. And maybe that phone call scared her, I don`t know. Maybe - you know, maybe she did do it. I don`t know. I just cannot even imagine her doing it.

POLICE: I can`t either.

MOTHER: Jodi`s a very intelligent person.

POLICE: She is.

MOTHER: Go look at the books that she brought to her house.

POLICE: She is.

MOTHER: I mean she`s got all these books that I would not even think about reading, you know and she`s smart and how could .

POLICE: I understand she is extremely intelligent. And the more I`ve talked to her over the last month and a half, I know she`s intelligent. MOTHER: You know, and she in fact - she gave us a hard time because I never went to college and she kept telling me, mom, you need to read, you need to do this, you need to better your life. And I don`t know - I just - I can`t even imagine.


CASAREZ: I want to go out to Christina Dalpiaz. She is joining us from Denver, Colorado. She has lived it. She is a domestic violence survivor. She is the executive director of Chance. You know, Christina, I noticed in this interview with Jodi Arias` mother, her emotions, her shaking, her crying. And then I think about Jodi Arias being interrogated in virtually the same room, I see no emotion at all. And I know everyone is different, Christina, and I`m sure you witnessed that, but as a victim of domestic violence, wouldn`t there be emotion at the point when you are charged with the person that you loved and were in this relationship with?

CHRISTINA DALPIAZ, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVOR: Absolutely. You know and she had said that she was shaking like a chihuahua. A lot of victims that I know actually use that term when they discuss how they feel and they relive it. So their body can`t lie about that. And when they are going over the emotion again they are shaking like a chihuahua and they sometimes become so unbelievable to the outsiders because they are so nervous and anxious. And the fact that Jodi can be so calm, cool and collective, that is what perpetrators do. They can tell a lie far better than a victim can tell the truth. And it is devastating to watch a family member who has mental illness be able to be like that and have no emotion. It is devastating to families.

CASAREZ: You know, Christina, you bring about such a strong point right there, which is called the obvious. If you shake so bad and I saw her shake in that courtroom. I saw her shake a bit on the witness stand. But why wouldn`t you shake when you know you are being charged with first degree murder? All right, we`re taking your calls. Ronnie in California. Hi, Ronnie.

CALLER: Hi, Jean. How are you?

CASAREZ: Hi. I`m fine. Thank you for calling.

CALLER: Thank you for the amazing job you guys are doing on this. I`m absolutely hooked.

CASAREZ: Well, thank you. I do it for all of you.

CALLER: You know what - you just 0 all of you are just amazing, really. And I can hardly contain myself here sometimes. I want to jump through the TV and wring her neck. But anyway, I just - I`ve had a thought that has bothered me since this has gone on and it has to do with the rope and her taking that rope. And it kept coming up that how did she overpower him with him being so strong, to do so much damage? And I kept thinking why maybe she got him in a provocative position in that shower. Just kind of playing along with their games. And he was - that rope was there and it had blood on it and that is why she took it.

CASAREZ: You know, Ronnie, you bring up the question that I think all of us have. I want to go out to Alexis Weed, "Nancy Grace" producer at the court house. We know one thing. We know that at autopsy Travis weighed 189 pounds. That is close to 200. He would have weighed more alive. What do we know about that scene right at the end, I mean was there even any rope, Alexis?

ALEXIS WEED, NANCY GRACE PRODUCER: No, Jean, no rope. We do know that there was blood spatter, that there was blood smear all around that sink area. But that is a great question, where is the rope? We don`t even know if this rope exists. It`s possible that it doesn`t exist. It wasn`t in any of the photographs, any of the evidence photographs that were shown at trial. So, Arias supposedly took that rope with her. Don`t know where it went.



FATHER: She was strange person because some -- you know, right after she left the house, you know, she just kind of looked strange, you know. She was really friendly. Sometimes she would call and be real sweet. And ten minutes later, she would come and she`d be in a rage, you know, just screaming at my wife. And she did that for maybe the last year and a half, she was doing that a lot.

POLICE: Any idea why?


FATHER: The only thing I could tell you is that probably financial problems, as, you know, she was going to file bankruptcy, but she didn`t have the money to. She lost her house and broke up with her boyfriend prior to Travis. And (inaudible) she never showed (inaudible). Other kids, but she`s never showed us anything.


CASAREZ: You are watching Jodi Arias` father. That is when he is finding out that his daughter is being charged with murder, a very different demeanor from the mother. I`m Jean Casarez in for Nancy Grace. Welcome back. We are right here in downtown Phoenix, Arizona for the death penalty trial of Jodi Arias. We have been able to obtain from ABC News and "Good Morning, America" 600 journal entries from Jodi Arias. We have been combing through them all day. We found some that you have never heard before. They are the thought process of Jodi Arias that may surprise and even shock you. We`ve got one ready to go right now. Listen to Jodi in her own written words.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: True, I could just marry Travis, but as wonderful a guy as he is, I just don`t think we are quite right for each other. I`m a little too sensitive. Although I prefer to think of it as Christ-like. And he is a little too rough around the edges although it is nearly impossible to imagine my life without him right now, he is amazing and he can cheer me up in a snap by singing me songs and holding me close. I like it when we cuddle. That`s the very best. On my bad days he brings me up, but I fear I rely on him too much for that sometimes. He is way too stressed in his own issues. He invariably suggests that we both distress by, well, being naughty. And although it is a temporary relief I think it is causing more problems. Besides, if it is something that I can`t tell my bishop then I probably shouldn`t be doing it."


CASAREZ: All right. I want to go out to Dr. Eris Huemer, therapist joining us out of Los Angeles. She`s a star of Bravo`s "LA Shrinks." Jodi Arias actually tells herself that she wants to be or is Christ-like. Now, is that someone that just thinks a little too much of themselves or that could that be something they teach in the Mormon faith to believe and want to be?

All right, I understand that we have lost the connection with the psychotherapist out of Los Angeles. Let`s go to Monica Lindstrom, defense attorney joining us right here in Phoenix, Arizona. When Jodi Arias says that she is Christ-like everyone says that all Jodi cares about and believes in is herself. What could she try -- be trying to make a religious statement at that point?

LINDSTROM: Well, I think that that really is showing that she has a very strong faith and she is trying hard to be Christ-like, not that she is God or she is Christ or she is as wonderful as he is, but that she is trying to achieve that. And then in that and in those journal entries that we just heard, it really sounds like she is conflicted. She loves him. She likes this relationship, but yet she is finding some fault in it. She is really having a conflict, almost like she is reaching for her faith or for her religion to help her through this. Of course everybody is going to say, oh, Christ-like, that is so narcissistic. She`s saying that, she only cares about herself. But I think as the defense, they can turn that and argue that she is reaching for her faith and trying to find solace in that.

CASAREZ: All right. I am hearing that we have another journal entry ready to go. Everybody, this is Jodi Arias, her journal entries, her writing. Let`s listen.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, today was interesting to say the least. Highs and lows. Travis was obscenely mean to me, but then he was extremely sweet and apologetic. It`s easy to forgive him when I remember who he is, who I am, and who we all really are, which is divine offspring, children of God.

He`s so hard to say no to. We totally made out afterward. But he was so sweet and kind and attentive the entire rest of the night. It was a long drive back from Las Vegas. Travis was being extremely impatient, but eventually he got over it. So I raced home, freshened up, and headed over there with tootsy pops. He makes me want to be so naughty. And naughty we were. We went all the way again. It was different this time. He was different. He was tender and sweet and loving. He said he had been planning and hoping for this. He said he wanted to savor the moment and make it last as long as possible. He asked me if I felt guilty and I said yes. Then he told me he wanted this because he wanted us to always have something special. Perhaps it was like closure for both of us.




UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How are you doing? Are you OK?

MOTHER: Not good. No.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: As good as can be expected, I guess?

MOTHER: I think I`m going to puke.


MOTHER: Yes. I`m OK.


CASAREZ: I`m Jean Casarez in for Nancy Grace. We are down here at the courthouse in Phoenix, Arizona for the Jodi Arias trial. I want to go to Darryl Cohen, defense attorney joining us out of Atlanta. Darrell, I have got the ultimate question for you right here, all right? We are hearing what many will say is psychological abuse of Jodi Arias, the highs, the lows and all the in-between, and the reasons for it. LaViolette is a very good witness. But how can you say that from this psychological abuse and the cycle that evolves that you then are scared for your life and you have to kill someone in the manner she did? That`s what doesn`t make sense.

DARRYL COHEN, DEFENSE ATTORNEY: None of this makes sense, Jean. But remember, we don`t need a not guilty verdict by virtue of unanimity. We need one person, we need reasonable doubt. And when this has happened, none of us have the ability, other than maybe LaViolette, to get into Jodi`s mind, and what she believed was happening was that she was being mentally abused, that she was being used like a yo-yo, a toy. Here I am, he loves me, he loves me not. I love him, I`m doing things that I don`t want to do. I feel guilty about it. So what do we have?

Did she have the right to kill him in her right mind? Absolutely not. In her mind, was it likely self-defense? Yes. Did she draw a blank, did she know what she was doing? I would suggest to you she did not know. What LaViolette is testifying to is not Jodi but what happens to a person. We have to get into her, we have to get into her mind and her state of being. And if she in her own mind believed that what she was doing was self- defense, by defending herself. Christ-like? She`s really saying I`m on the cross and I am being crucified. That in my view is what she`s saying in her diary, and later she acted out. So what we have is something extremely serious. That`s all I can tell you at this point.

CASAREZ: We`ll see if we can conclude about the Christ-like at that. Vicki in Ohio, hi, Vicki.


CASAREZ: Thank you for joining us. What`s your question?

CALLER: My question tonight is why is Jodi and her defense team allowed to say that Travis broke her finger when there was no police report? Wouldn`t that be speculation or hearsay?

CASAREZ: Monica Lindstrom, defense attorney, why are they allowed to say that she broke her finger when there is no definitive evidence?

LINDSTROM: We have Jodi`s testimony, and she was the victim and she was the one that was involved. So it`s her word. It`s not hearsay, because she`s not talking about what someone else had said. This is something that happened to her. She is the first witness. She can give an account of something that happened to her. That`s why it can come in. Now, it goes to the weight of the evidence, the fact that there was no police report, no pictures, and no medical record.


CASAREZ: We remember American hero, Army Sergeant Robert Wayne Crow Jr., 42 years old, from Kansas City, Missouri. He was awarded the Bronze Star, the Purple Heart, and two National Defense Service Medals. He leaves behind his father, Robert, his sister Brenda, his brother Norman, his widow Beverly, six children and 14 grandchildren. Robert Wayne Crow Jr., an American hero.

I want to go out to Dr. Eris Huemer. She is a therapist joining us out of Los Angeles. Doctor, here is one thing that I hear from many people that they just don`t understand. That she kept going back and going back and going back to Travis. How do you, as a therapist, differentiate between someone who is a victim of abuse that is in the cycle that keeps going back because times are good at points, or someone that has that fatal attraction and keeps going back because they can`t stay away?

DR. ERIS HUEMER, PSY.D., MFT, STAR OF BRAVO`S "LA SHRINKS": I think it`s a mixture of the two. It`s the same thing that happens. There`s tension. It`s build-up, it`s exciting. She has a physical relationship. There`s lots of sex. And then there is some sort of emotional or physical abuse, whatever had happened. And then there`s hope that it`s going to get better so they continue to go back. But with her, it`s some sort of mental instability that`s happening with her. There`s emotional instability, relationship problems, a low sense of self-worth, a fear of abandonment. And because of all of these things that are happening, she continues to go to him. And she reached a point, the thinking that if she couldn`t have Travis, nobody else could.

CASAREZ: All right. Thank you to all of our guests. Today, it marks Child Health National Day of Hope, raising awareness, to prevent child abuse and neglect. For more information, go to Dr. Drew is coming up next.