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New Year's Eve Live with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin

Aired December 31, 2013 - 23:00   ET



ANDERSON COOPER, CNN HOST: Welcome back. We are live in Times Square for perhaps as many as 1 million people who make up a virtual city down here. This is the final hour of 2013. I hope you are happy wherever you are.

KATHY GRIFFIN, CNN HOST: You're warmer than we are. Can we at least be honest about the temperature? Because our nose is running, we're trying to be discreet about this. And it's embarrassing.

COOPER: Yes, our nose is running to the point where it's embarrassing. It's not just like a little bit. It's like -- it's a lot.

GRIFFIN: Well, I feel that I have what's called celebrity nose disease, but that doesn't sound good to say celebrity nose disease.

COOPER: I don't know exactly how cold it is here, but it was 34 earlier which didn't sound so bad but it kind of sneaks up on you.

GRIFFIN: Right. Because we don't move and there's wind and the people from Telemundo sometimes they talk to us and sometimes they don't. We know they got three times as many viewers, but it was exciting. Macklemore was here.

COOPER: Macklemore was great. We've had Melissa Etheridge here. We have Blondie here.

GRIFFIN: But there's one singer I want to talk you about.


GRIFFIN: Because I think one of the greatest moments of the year was when you actually had -- get ready -- Dr. Conrad Murray sing to you from prison. But your reaction while he burst into song.

COOPER: This is Dr. Conrad Murray, the doctor who was I guess convicted and held liable in some degree in the death in Michael Jackson.

GRIFFIN: Correct.

COOPER: I interviewed him while he was in prison. In the middle of the interview, you actually have the tape? Did you bring the tape? GRIFFIN: Yes. But it's about your reaction, because you actually turned into like a dog from one of those ASPCA commercials. And you were cocking your ears like a cocker spaniel. Let's take a look, shall we?

COOPER: All right. Let's listen. OK.


DR. CONRAD MURRAY, MICHAEL JACKSON'S FORMER DOCTOR (singing): He's the little boy that Santa Claus forgot and goodness knows he did not want a lot, he wrote a note to Santa for some crayons and a toy it broke his little heart then he found Santa hadn't come in the streets he envied all the lucky boys, but goodness knows he didn't want a lot, I'm so sorry for that laddie who hasn't got a daddy, he's the little boy that Santa Claus forgot.

That song tells my story.


COOPER: I started to look around at Kevin and the stage managers because I could not believe it was happening.

GRIFFIN: You looked like someone had kibble nearby and you were sort of cocking your head as if to get a treat.

COOPER: It was one of those moments. I've never had an interview.

GRIFFIN: There you are. That's what it was like.

You're adorable. You are an adorable puppy.

COOPER: I've never had an interview where somebody says, I think it would best be expressed in song.

GRIFFIN: I will give it to you that you have earned every Emmy. But really that's the Emmy you've been robbed for. The performance.

Did you go Christmas caroling with Conrad Murray?

COOPER: No. He's out now, isn't he? He's out of jail.

GRIFFIN: Yes, he is.

What was going through your mind?

COOPER: Was what?

GRIFFIN: What was going through your mind?

COOPER: I could not believe that it was actually happening.

GRIFFIN: Was there a part of you that was laughing, any part?

COOPER: No, because I believe it being respectful to guests. But I was mystified. I will say I was mystified.

GRIFFIN: All right, because I was laughing my butt off. I'll admit it.

COOPER: I wouldn't say I was laughing. I was completely -- I was flummoxed if you will.

GRIFFIN: Don't swear at me. I have asked you all night, don't flummox this. That's inappropriate.

COOPER: We are in the final hour of 2013.

GRIFFIN: I know. I'm updating my profile on

COOPER: On what?

GRIFFIN: This is a real Web site. I am not a Facebook spokesperson. It's where Anderson and I met.

They have a commercial,

COOPER: I have seen that, yes.

GRIFFIN: Yes. And the thing is, "city folks just don't get it" is their motto.

COOPER: I think it's cool.

GRIFFIN: I agree. If you're milking a cow --

COOPER: I always wanted to be a farmer.

GRIFFIN: You fit the bill perfectly.

COOPER: I know, I will be --

GRIFFIN: When did you want to be a farmer?

COOPER: In high school I wanted to be Amish. Because I thought --

GRIFFIN: You know what, you drop these bombs on me.

COOPER: It's true.

GRIFFIN: Then you have the nerve to act like I'm the one that's unpredictable. What do you mean you wanted to be Amish?

COOPER: I thought it would be so like -- first of all I'd seen the movie "Witness" and I thought it looked so nice. You don't have to worry about what you're wearing black and white every day.

GRIFFIN: Here's the deal. You're a Vanderbilt. It's not going to change you're Amish Vanderbilt. Your mom used to live in the Bergdorf store.

COOPER: I'm a Cooper first of all. GRIFFIN: All right, easy, witness. Look, you with the cart. First of all, you'd be the person to break Amish.

COOPER: I would be shunned.

GRIFFIN: You would be shunned so fast. You'd whip that hat off.

COOPER: I realized I couldn't be Amish because I liked watching TV too much. I would be shunned.

GRIFFIN: That's so deep of you. You're such a deep thinking Amish representative. And if they could watch TV, they'd be appalled.

COOPER: Yes. During Rumspringa, I would have gone nuts.

GRIFFIN: I'm sorry?

COOPER: Rumspringa.

GRIFFIN: And they celebrate that by doing what?

COOPER: No, no, Rumspringa is a year -- Amish kids are given a year where they get to go nuts.

GRIFFIN: They get for go wild.

COOPER: Then they get to choose whether they come back to the Amish community. I've researched it.

GRIFFIN: I've seen the show. I trust anything they tell me on TLC. I trust the little people with the big world, 800-pound man.

COOPER: It's incredible.

GRIFFIN: It's incredible. It's a learning channel.

COOPER: In fact, there was a show you were particularly this year that you're interested in.

GRIFFIN: Which one?

COOPER: The person with the large --

GRIFFIN: The man with 132-pound scrotum?


GRIFFIN: There was a show called "The Man with the 132-Pound Scrotum."

COOPER: That was an actual TLC show.

GRIFFIN: It was an actual scrotum. He had a scrotum that's 132 pounds. Look, when Gary Tuchman describes that watermelon dropping, this guy really dropped his watermelon.

TLC did a show about it. He finally found a doctor. I think in California. It was a long surgery. I think it was worth it.

COOPER: No, but TLC has unbelievable stuff. You can't believe.

GRIFFIN: Did you physically try to quiet me? Like physically try to go like that?

COOPER: Just -- this is a contract that I asked Kathy to sign in our first hour.

GRIFFIN: Which I did.

COOPER: No swearing, no stripping, no touching.

GRIFFIN: There's my signature.

COOPER: No simulation. She signed it as Miley Cyrus, unfortunately.

GRIFFIN: I was like a living TV guide merely describing a documentary.

COOPER: Yes. Well, that's cool. No.


COOPER: I do not want to show what happened last year. They're asking me if I want to show the Gary Tuchman thing. There's no way.

GRIFFIN: Absolutely.

COOPER: There's no way.

GRIFFIN: Let's show what happened when I tried to kiss (INAUDIBLE). It was a tradition. A piece of Americana. Gary Tuchman --

COOPER: You are a piece of Americana, aren't you?

GRIFFIN: Frankly.

COOPER: You are.

You are truly a piece of --

GRIFFIN: You consider yourself to be like elder of the Amish?

COOPER: You're someone the American pickers would find in a Nashville warehouse.

GRIFFIN: What is your guilty pleasure? If you have guilty pleasure a marathon show you watch?

COOPER: You know, I used to be a big reality TV fan. And I really am giving it up.

GRIFFIN: Now you're all "Breaking Bad".

COOPER: All about dramas. "Breaking Bad." I like Netflix stuff. I like iTunes stuff.

GRIFFIN: Now, could you make crystal meth in your home based on watching "Breaking Bad"?

COOPER: No, because they were very careful on that.

GRIFFIN: Are you sure?

COOPER: You know, I --

GRIFFIN: Tried it?


GRIFFIN: Anderson Cooper tried making crystal methamphetamine in his garage.

COOPER: No, that's not even something I joke about.

GRIFFIN: I will not.

COOPER: You have gone too far.

GRIFFIN: I have crossed the line. Wait --

COOPER: You have crossed the line.

GRIFFIN: I drew it then I moved it and then I crossed it.

COOPER: You need to call Bill Soball (ph) because I think --

GRIFFIN: My attorney.

COOPER: Yes, your attorney.

GRIFFIN: He's naming my attorney.

COOPER: I'm naming your attorney.

GRIFFIN: You need to call Walter White because every guy I know wants to be Walter White, walk around in that apron.

COOPER: Oh, yes. No --

GRIFFIN: Did you ever walk around in an apron?

COOPER: You must have Bill Soball on a speed dial.

GRIFFIN: My attorneys are busy, busy bees.

COOPER: Bill Soball is a very good attorney.


COOPER: You must -- I mean tax him.

GRIFFIN: You want to know is he good enough to handle this, this situation, this area here, especially this area.

COOPER: Let's check in with Gary Tuchman, because last year he was at the unspeakable event. This year, he is in Vincennes, Indiana, for annual New Year's Eve watermelon drop.

GRIFFIN: I didn't say.

COOPER: Gary, the watermelon hasn't been raised yet? No, it's right behind you.

GARY TUCHMAN, CNN CORRESPONDENT: That's right, Anderson and Kathy. This is the largest watermelon I've ever seen in my life. But there's a caveat -- it's a steel watermelon, weighs 500 pounds. It's 12 x 18.

At the bottom of the watermelon, there's 40 real watermelons. At the stroke of midnight, this watermelon will be raised 90 feet in the air on the crane and then they will drop the 14 watermelons to symbolize 2014 and they will splat all over the ground in what they call a splatform. And that will inaugurate the year 2014 here in Vincennes, Indiana, on the banks of the Wabash River.

And coming to the stage, because in honor of the watermelon tradition of this area, they're having a watermelon smash off. This is Gallagher, the comedian. He specializes in smashing watermelons.

We're going to take a look at him smashing a watermelon.

Are you guys ready? Let's see the smashing. Gallagher, want to see you do it too, OK?

Can we see you first, Gallagher? That's Gallagher.

Now, watch. It's going to be very wet. Look out.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Five, four, three, two, one!

TUCHMAN: And there's Gallagher billing it all. He's the emcee of the event here at the great watermelon drop in Vincennes, Indiana.

You can see, Anderson and Kathy, we're having a lot of fun.

COOPER: You know what? We have had many big celebrity guests on this show. Never Gallagher.

You were able to get Gallagher.

GRIFFIN: #nodisrespecttomacklemore.

COOPER: No disrespect #disrespect. Yes. #wehadgallagher.

There it is again. I mean, it just gets better and better.

GRIFFIN: We want to see that in an instant replay, because only Gallagher knows how to smash a watermelon like that.

COOPER: From watermelon smashing let's go to sushi. GRIFFIN: Are we doing a shoe check in?

COOPER: Shoe check in with sushi down in Key West, Florida.

John Zarrella is there.

John, what's happening?

JOHN ZARRELLA, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Anderson, the queen has arrived. Sushi is in the shoe in what 50 minutes be coming down in the shoe. Our 11th year doing this.

Look at the crowd.

Y'all having a good time?

Oh, great time.

Now, there is one youngster here, 11-year-old Leif from Chicago waiting. He's been here for four hours waiting.

All right, Leif, the world is waiting to hear what you have to say.


ZARRELLA: Um what? Come on.

UNIDENTIFIED KID: I'm here with my --

ZARRELLA: No, no, no, are you happy to be here?


ZARRELLA: What do you have to say to the world?

UNIDENTIFIED KID: Hi. This is awesome.

ZARRELLA: This is awesome, isn't it?


ZARRELLA: What a great time. Anderson, the crowd is bigger every year. And this is no exception. Tens of thousands of people lined up here on Duval Street to watch Sushi come down in the red stiletto. I have to tell you guys, a friend of mine just gave me this sequined outfit to wear. And here, take a look at the back.

What do you think of that, huh? We can get everybody one of these.

COOPER: Oh, my gosh. Look at him.

GRIFFIN: Is it mere or does it look a little bit like Michael Douglas in "Behind the Catwalk." It's a wonderful thing.

COOPER: John, that is quite an outfit. I've never -- that's quite something. GRIFFIN: I can hear that outfit from you.

COOPER: Stunning. I'm speechless actually.

GRIFFIN: I expect in my closet Monday morning, John. Ship it overnight.

ZARRELLA: You'll have one. You will have one.

COOPER: We'll check in with you in a little bit.

Quick reminder if you want to join the conversation on twitter, the #CNNNYE.

By the way, Rachael Ray --


COOPER: Rachael Ray sent you back a text saying that she did not say bad things about me.

GRIFFIN: Don't brag about it.

COOPER: She would cook for me anytime.

GRIFFIN: Never let you in her apartment.

COOPER: She said she would cook for me. I appreciate that offer. I would love that. I'm a huge Rachael Ray fan.

GRIFFIN: OK, you're a horrible eater.

COOPER: I need to learn how to eat properly.

GRIFFIN: Maybe she should take you to the Boston market or wherever you go every day for your happy meal.

COOPER: I eat at boston market every day.

GRIFFIN: I'm sure you should be on "INSIDE MAN" with Morgan Spurlock. We could follow you around for six months.

By the way, was Sushi having a little Starbucks or something?

COOPER: Sushi was precariously perched. I'm a little concerned.

GRIFFIN: I'm not at all concerned, whichever way Sushi goes, in shoe, out of the shoe. I'm on board.

COOPER: Oh, there it is. There's at the scene there. At the stroke of midnight, the shoe is lowered down. Hopefully sushi arrives safely. Here the ball drop is the big event that we are about 45, 46 minutes away from.

GRIFFIN: You know who's actually going to do it. Edward Snowden.

COOPER: No, that's not true.

GRIFFIN: Edward Snowden is going to be here live. It's a CNN exclusive.

COOPER: No, that's not true.

GRIFFIN: He's going to actually drop the ball. Maybe leak some secrets. Everybody likes a bad boy.

COOPER: Justice Sonia Sotomayor will be pressing the button and lowering that giant ball.

GRIFFIN: You're saying you even didn't know where Snowden is?

COOPER: He's in Moscow.

GRIFFIN: Let's call him. I'm just saying. You want to be different. You want to stand on the crowd.

Let's ask him some questions.

COOPER: OK, fine. We'll ask him what his New Year --

GRIFFIN: Not that tough. Let's ask him a little more about the leaks.

COOPER: I can't believe you asked Macklemore that question. Very sad.

GRIFFIN: Excuse me. I work for the master. You didn't even know thrift shop.

COOPER: That's true.

GRIFFIN: Sing "thrift shop" for me.

I got $20 in my pocket --

COOPER: Oh, I know that song, yeah. I like that song.

GRIFFIN: OK, thank you. All right fine.

COOPER: I like that Lorde? I like that Lorde.

GRIFFIN: All right. Well, good. Why don't you marry her? Except she's 14, you pervert.

COOPER: Sixteen, actually.

GRIFFIN: Whatever. Is it true you purchased George W. Bush's paintings?

COOPER: No. But I would happily have one of those paintings.

GRIFFIN: I think that's so odd that you're having dinner with the Bachmanns and you're supporting Ted Cruz for president then purchasing George W. Bush's paintings? It's just a turn I didn't expect. But it is breaking news. It's going to be on the ticker.

COOPER: No. None of that is true. But I think it's cool that he's painting and trying to do something different later.

GRIFFIN: Is this a part where you're afraid you're going to get a call from the White House?

COOPER: Why would the White House call me?

GRIFFIN: Are you like Nicolas Cage in "Guarding Tess"?


GRIFFIN: Forget it. We're going to Shirley MacLaine.

COOPER: Wow, you're doing a Nicolas Cage reference.

GRIFFIN: I'm doing a Shirley MacLaine who got the Kennedy Center honor this year.


GRIFFIN: That's right. Have you gotten a medal or anything?

COOPER: No, I have not.

GRIFFIN: Gloria Steinem got a medal freedom.

COOPER: Did she?

GRIFFIN: Yes, Oprah got one. Did you go as her guest?

COOPER: No, I was not invited.

GRIFFIN: I was there as Oprah's guest.

COOPER: No, you won't.

GRIFFIN: Oprah and I drove together to the ceremony to watch Oprah get the Medal of Freedom. Oprah, I want to say thank you, I love the ride.

COOPER: Oprah was on our mutual friend Andy Cohen show.


COOPER: She said to him, you carry the light. I mean, that's --


COOPER: If Oprah said that, that's a pretty --

GRIFFIN: Do you think she was actually dying? Because I saw "To Heaven and Back." They ran it almost as much as "Weed", almost as much.

You guys here's what you love about CNN, weed and heaven. A lot of specials about weed and heaven.

COOPER: Is that right?

GRIFFIN: Do you watch the channel? I actually watch the channel.

COOPER: Of course, I watch the channel.

GRIFFIN: Did you see Dana Bash in the Sit Room? What happens when you go to THE SITUATION ROOM?

COOPER: I have not actually been in THE SITUATION ROOM.

GRIFFIN: You've never like tried to change the channel to MTV?

COOPER: What do you mean?

GRIFFIN: You should go into THE SITUATION ROOM. Grab the remote from Wolf and just put on Lifetime or something fun.

COOPER: I forgot my Wolf Blitzer tunic.

GRIFFIN: You have a Wolf Blitzer tunic.

COOPER: A group called-what are they, mad men?

GRIFFIN: That's a show.

COOPER: Anyway, mad men that wrote a song about Wolf Blitzer.

GRIFFIN: Who hasn't?

COOPER: And they wear a tunic with his face on it and sent me in. I was going to bring it in.

GRIFFIN: Maybe they get him more than you do. I think he's a living legend.

COOPER: He is a living legend.

GRIFFIN: I've seen him do the Dougie, et cetera.

COOPER: He does the Dougie, that's true.

GRIFFIN: Why don't you have a room for your show? Instead of 360, why don't you like spin on your show? If you're going to do it go for it. Spinning on 360 and trying not to puke and doing the news.

COOPER: OK. You're spitballing. You're throwing them out.

GRIFFIN: That's right. I'm very disappointed.

COOPER: How many more cards you got? Because we're -- you know, the clock is ticking.

GRIFFIN: This is the least productive Congress. What do you have to say about that, Anderson Cooper? What? You have to be neutral about that?

COOPER: Let's take a short break, shall we?

GRIFFIN: Eight percent approval rating.

COOPER: I know they are. They make reporters seem highly --

GRIFFIN: They've totally cut away from us.

COOPER: We're going to take a quick break. Before we do the amazing overhead view you're seeing from Times Square. It is coming from the rooftop of the Marriott Marquee Hotel. We're very grateful to everyone there --


COOPER: For making it happen. We just appreciate their help because it's a cool shot and we have it.

GRIFFIN: How much you get? Like 200 bucks?

COOPER: We'll be right back.


COOPER: Welcome back. There is the giant crystal ball that is at the stroke of midnight will lower, take about a minute to lower. That's going to happen in about 36 minutes from now.

We, of course, are bringing all that to you live without any interruption. We won't be talking over it. We're going to hear "Imagine" "New York, New York". You'll really experience the moment here in Times Square with us --

GRIFFIN: Yes. I'm going to mention, during the commercial break I actually had to hand Anderson my little talking point joke cards. That's not the way it's supposed to go. So, I should here. Show them what you were doing. I shouldn't be having to like actually tip my hand.

But that was really not good.

COOPER: I don't know what you're doing.

GRIFFIN: I don't, either. I am just going to -- I --

COOPER: What's happening?

GRIFFIN: I -- just want you to -- you are an American treasure. And a gem.

COOPER: What are you doing? Anyway --

GRIFFIN: I can't get to it open.

COOPER: All right. We're going to go -- let's check in with Isha -- GRIFFIN: Yes.

COOPER: We're going to check in with Isha down in the crowd.

Isha, the moment that people are waiting for is rapidly -- oh, wait.

GRIFFIN: I did it. I did it. I handcuffed myself to Anderson Cooper. I have been planning this for weeks. I knew it would happen. And now, I don't quite know how these work. I know I don't have the key.

COOPER: You don't have the key?

GRIFFIN: Wait what? No, I don't have the key.

COOPER: Why are you attempting to handcuff yourself to me?

GRIFFIN: Because I -- I did it. I did it. I've been planning this for so long.

COOPER: Actually don't do this. This is really dumb.

GRIFFIN: You guys, I did it. And I don't have the key at all! OK. Go to whatever you want to do. So proud of myself.

COOPER: Seriously?

GRIFFIN: I have been planning this -- only three people in the world knew I was going to do this. I don't have the key.

I got them from cops, too. I mean, I won't say which force, though. So how along are we on for?

COOPER: Oh, man. This is truly my worst nightmare.

GRIFFIN: We're together forever. If I can't have you no one can.

COOPER: I will gnaw off my hand.

GRIFFIN: You'll have to.

COOPER: Let's check in with Isha.

GRIFFIN: Do you know a locksmith? I don't.

COOPER: It's actually really tight.

GRIFFIN: It's supposed to be tight because you're not going anywhere.

COOPER: Isha, how are things down there?

ISHA SESAY, CNN CORRESPONDENT: The party is definitely in full swing down here. The atmosphere is building as we approach midnight. It's a great atmosphere, right?

(CHEERS) SESAY: Well, Kathy, as you're a fashionista, I thought I would point out these two fine gentlemen just for you. As you see from their attire, yes, they are very as we say in England, snappily dressed for the occasion.

And what's your name and where are you from?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: My name is Jordaine from Amarillo, Texas.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm Antonio from Amarillo, Texas, also.

SESAY: OK. Explain to Kathy and Anderson the outfit. What's this about?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Just staying warm and stuff like and Macklemore, you know, he's sporting the jackets.

GRIFFIN: Macklemore was rocking it out.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I've totally taken it over.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I wanted to match Kathy just so maybe she'd be my date. But I don't know if it's going to work.

SESAY: OK. Kathy, you have an admirer down here.

GRIFFIN: Oh, hi, sir. Sorry, I'm taken.

SESAY: She said to tell you she's taken.

But anyway, why did you guys decide to do New Year's Eve here in Times Square?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Something different. We wanted to watch the ball drop. We've been standing here since 9:00 this morning.

SESAY: Nine this morning. Did you bring snacks at least? That's a long time.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Subway, drink, everything. But we got to limit ourselves because we don't want to have to run to the restroom, lose our spot.

SESAY: Yes. So for those at home who don't know, you can't leave it spot. Once you're in, you're in. Are you guys having a good time? What's the best part of being here with Anderson, with Kathy, with all these people?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I want to say the atmosphere, the buildings, all the lights, everything here, CNN, everything.

SESAY: CNN is definitely the best bit of this, right?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The best station out there. I want to watch it all the time. Worldwide news.

SESAY: And just to be clear, you made this trip especially just to be here for New Year's?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Right. We just came here just for New Year's. That's it.

SESAY: I hope you guys have a great time.

Kathy, you have a date down here if you need someone for the after party.


SESAY: If you don't --

COOPER: You guys have matching coats. This is faux fur, yes?

GRIFFIN: Faux fur of course.


GRIFFIN: I wish I could send them down there. I just can't right now.

COOPER: Yes. I don't think I have even realized that you've handcuffed me.

GRIFFIN: Do you know a welder?

COOPER: I'm sure it won't be hard to find a locksmith on New Year's believe.

GRIFFIN: They're all open. I'm sure you could walk two or three blocks away and have me on sign saying walk right in.

COOPER: All right. We're going to take a quick break --

GRIFFIN: What do you think is going to happen in the break? Do you really think you're going to get freed?

COOPER: I think I will.

GRIFFIN: We'll see. Come back.



SUMNIMA UDAS, CNN INTERNATIONAL CORRESPONDENT: I'm Sumnima Udas on the banks of the Holy River Ganges here in India. Many people here believe it's auspicious or good luck to ring in the New Year with reflection and prayer. So there's no countdown here, only temple gongs and chanting. And instead of fireworks, you've got traditional oil lamps.

Thousands gather every day after sunset. But today, there's an even larger crowd, here to pray for prosperous 2014. It's about 36 degrees Fahrenheit, but as you can see, people are bathing, Hindus believe you can wash away a lifetime of sins with just one dip.

It's a process of purification. And before the end of the year, you offer flowers and traditional oil lamps to the sacred river.

For the spiritually inclined, what better way to start a New Year, Anderson.


ANDERSON COOPER, CNN HOST: Cool. That's celebrations in India. I think that's cool.

KATHY GRIFFIN, CNN HOST: That's a very appropriate lead in to what's happening now.

COOPER: Sweetie, you're going to need more than a dam to wash your sins away.

GRIFFIN: There's not enough water in India to undo this mess right here. The key is gone if you're just joining us. I've pulled off my greatest feat yet in the history of New Year's Eve with Anderson Cooper. The key is gone.

COOPER: During the break, she was saying that this is what it's like to be her boyfriend.

GRIFFIN: Yes. This is a little window into what it's like to be my boyfriend. If I go, you go.

COOPER: I had shoulder surgery so I have to sleep on this side.

GRIFFIN: No, no, I'm sleeping -- look, I think I am in control here obviously. I'm spooning on the inside. That is not a sexual position. That's cuddling. Well, I guess we can't --

COOPER: No. Wait, where's the contract? Where's the contract?

GRIFFIN: What did I do? I didn't violate -- nothing said I couldn't take you prisoner.

COOPER: There's the contract. No touching and no simulations.

GRIFFIN: I am simulating loving you.

COOPER: I actually seriously have had shoulder surgery and cannot -- this hurts.

GRIFFIN: You know, if I had known that, I absolutely would have done the same thing.

COOPER: By the way, I can spoon for a few minutes but then I need space.

GRIFFIN: Because you have intimacy issues. It's obvious. People have to chain themselves to you for attention. Of course you have intimacy issues. By the way, one of the tweets, because people feared for your safety tonight. Dear @andersoncooper @kathygriffin, I'm going to say an extra prayer tonight for you, Mr. Cooper.

COOPER: Thank you. I appreciate that.

GRIFFIN: Well, maybe now, you do need it.

COOPER: That's very nice. This is uncomfortable.

GRIFFIN: Where are you trying to go?

COOPER: Oh, goodness. So we are --

GRIFFIN: What was the worst thing you thought I would try tonight? Now that I've really pulled one off.

COOPER: I didn't think it could get any worse than last year. The simulations I thought --

GRIFFIN: Where do you think this plays in comparison to last year when I kissed a sardine?

COOPER: You didn't kiss anything.

GRIFFIN: That's a euphemism.

COOPER: Yes. This is irritating.

GRIFFIN: That's good. I'll take it.

COOPER: Surprising. This surprises me.

GRIFFIN: What did you think was happening as I was handcuffing you?

COOPER: I had no idea. I was worrying you were going to take off your whole ensemble.

GRIFFIN: See? That's how I've broken you down year after year. I distract him by thinking she's going to do something as horrible as last year and then, boom, handcuffs.

Keys? I can't tell you. Not here. Not in New York. Not in America. They could be in that water in India for all I know. Trying to cleanse themselves.

COOPER: We really are --

GRIFFIN: We're really like together. Yes. So, we're going to be on until 5:00 a.m.

COOPER: No, we're going to be on until 12:30. We are going to show you the ball drop here and we're going to play it natural sounds. You'll heart crowd. We're not going to be talk over it. You're going to hear "Imagine", Melissa Etheridge playing. "New York, New York."

GRIFFIN: You can go do what you want. I just got what I want.

COOPER: You are happy.

GRIFFIN: Yes, I mean.

COOPER: You have a certain glow now.

GRIFFIN: I'm so thrilled.

COOPER: We're also gong to show you the celebrations in New Orleans, in Nashville, Indiana, the giant watermelon drop. We've got --

GRIFFIN: I like you look at me like I'm going to say something bad about the watermelon drop.

COOPER: Every time.

GRIFFIN: He's like this. The watermelon drop? Then he gets this fake contract? Come on.

COOPER: We've got musicians helping to ring in the New Year.

GRIFFIN: Paul McCartney will be here. Ringo Starr.

COOPER: One of my favorite bars in New Orleans on Frenchman Street. It's always a lot of fun. People do swing dancing there. A lot of fun.

GRIFFIN: Your mother loves swing dancing. We'll discuss it.

COOPER: My mom told me she was going to be on "Dancing with the Stars".

GRIFFIN: She should.

COOPER: And I really believed her for like three days.

GRIFFIN: But she was just messing with you.

COOPER: She was messing with me.

GRIFFIN: I love that. I can't imagine a woman wanting to do that to you. I think it's wrong.

COOPER: I appreciate that. Yeah. So we have a lot more ahead.

GRIFFIN: Can we talk about the e-mail your mother sent me?

COOPER: Sure. What did she say?

GRIFFIN: I want to be honest and say that Anderson's mom is more excited than Anderson is.

COOPER: That is true.

GRIFFIN: His e-mails are things like "LOL", "that's true." His mom sent me an e-mail and the title was I can still do this. She sent me a video. And I thought of your mom dancing. If we can show a few seconds of the video, here' the subject title. Very exciting. And this was the video.

COOPER: She actually sent this to you?

GRIFFIN: It's a four-minute video.

COOPER: Are you serious?

GRIFFIN: Yes. The whole time I was watching it thinking, OK, Glo is doing to be dancing and she wasn't. So I got confused.

Then I wrote back to her, well, of course you can. I just pray to god that you wore panties. And then she wrote back, of course, but no bra.

See, you would never send me like a fun exciting e-mail like that. There you go.

COOPER: You know what? Yes.

GRIFFIN: This is your e-mail.

Oh, did you send me flowers? Where did you send them? Thanks for thinking of me.

He was like mad that I sent him birthday flowers to the wrong place.

COOPER: I wasn't mad. I just didn't -- I didn't receive them.

GRIFFIN: It was kind of angry.

COOPER: No, I felt bad.

GRIFFIN: Your mother is saying, I might not wear a bra. I mean, that's exciting.

COOPER: Yes. Because I made one comment about my mom recently, something she wrote in a book and it went everywhere.

GRIFFIN: I loved it.

COOPER: I was away on vacation and I get this call --

GRIFFIN: Did you hear rumblings? Google it, people.

COOPER: I heard rumblings.

GRIFFIN: I like those rumblings.


GRIFFIN: What's your plan?

COOPER: I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out. GRIFFIN: I'll bet you plan for everything. Everything you do.

COOPER: I do. Yes, I do.

GRIFFIN: If I was to be too profane what was your plan going to be?

COOPER: I wore so many layers because I figured there's no way you could, I don't know, get to the bait and tackle. I don't know.

GRIFFIN: You thought I was going to go right for the --

COOPER: I don't know.

GRIFFIN: Are you wearing like an athletic cup in like you're going to scrimmage?

COOPER: Yes. I'm prepared to scrimmage.

GRIFFIN: You're fearful I would verbally go too far.

COOPER: Verbally go too far, as you have in years past.

GRIFFIN: What was your plan if I would verbally go too far?

COOPER: I don't know. I don't really have a plan.

GRIFFIN: You complain a lot but what's your plan?

COOPER: Well, I think --

GRIFFIN: I had a plan, people. A plan. I talked to the police department. I got just the right ones. I threw the key -- actually what you don't know, I threw it like two commercial breaks ago.

COOPER: Is that what you were throwing at Seacrest?

GRIFFIN: Yes. I threw the keys at Ryan Seacrest. And I don't think he's going to unlock you, either.

COOPER: So, you threw away my glasses once on New Year's Eve.

GRIFFIN: I just wanted to make the night exciting. I felt like you weren't focusing on me enough and I threw the glasses in the crowd.

COOPER: This guarantees I'm fully focused on you.

GRIFFIN: You have no choice.

COOPER: Yes. Wow.

GRIFFIN: Does it hurt yet?

COOPER: You know what a lot of people don't know about you, besides the fact you are a very good friend an actually a very sweet person.

GRIFFIN: Oh, boy. COOPER: You like to eat donuts late at night.

GRIFFIN: I have a donut-eating disorder.

COOPER: You have to go find donuts at like 3:00 a.m.

GRIFFIN: When they're hot. I'll argue with the doughnut fryer, if he wants to give me yesterday's donuts.

COOPER: You will go for long walks to get to the donut place.

GRIFFIN: That's right.

COOPER: Little known fact about Kathy Griffin.

GRIFFIN: Not like the after party you're having tonight at 1812 Lexington.

COOPER: She's making up an address.

GRIFFIN: Bring some cheese.

COOPER: That is not true. Thank you for sticking with us so far on New Year's Eve.

GRIFFIN: I don't think you have a choice but to stick with me.

COOPER: Twenty minutes until the ball drops here in New York. As I said, Melissa Etheridge is going to be performing "Imagine" before the ball drops. We're going to play that in full. We're not going to interrupt that.

GRIFFIN: Tweet us your thoughts.

COOPER: Every year -- the truth is that every year Kathy Griffin wants to talk during those key moments. And my point is no.

GRIFFIN: You want it to be real.

COOPER: I want people at home --

GRIFFIN: You think it's beautiful.

COOPER: I do. I want people to experience what it's like to be here. I find it moving in those when they play that song. They play "New York, New York." I like all that.

GRIFFIN: I understand. You try to silence me in your way and I try physically in my way.

COOPER: So, that's -- if you're worried, the whole family can watch those moments.

GRIFFIN: Well, I don't know what's family friendly about anything happening in old Times Square right now.

COOPER: Times Square back when I was growing up in the '70s --

GRIFFIN: Back in your day.

COOPER: Back in my day, let me tell you, it cost a nickel to get in here.

GRIFFIN: Did you walk to school in the snow?

In my school, I mean Choates (ph).

COOPER: You mean what?


COOPER: I took the bus to Dalton.

GRIFFIN: I'll bet. With your driver Chauncey.

COOPER: No. I rode the public bus in New York to go to school. I rode the cross town bus.

GRIFFIN: It's hard to focus on you.


GRIFFIN: It's hard to focus on you.

COOPER: I know it is. You're doing well.

GRIFFIN: Am I not supposed to talk about it?

COOPER: You can talk about whatever, I know -- why?


COOPER: So, what -- anything else?

GRIFFIN: I have a Twitter question. Hey, K.G., see if you can get Anderson to do a 360 with his pants down. This is not me. This is your fan.

COOPER: I have to adjust my ear things. OK.

GRIFFIN: I like that he actually has to ask permission to even adjust his ear piece. I'm just -- you can read it yourself.

COOPER: Hey, Kathy Griffin, see if you can get A.C. -- we're done with that. We don't need that. Yes.

GRIFFIN: So, Hall and Oates are going to be here.

COOPER: No, that's not true.

GRIFFIN: Reunion, "Man Eater", they're going to sing all the hits. We actually have the Boston pops.

COOPER: I love that you sang with Blondie on the program earlier tonight.

GRIFFIN: I am a Blondie fan. I know all the songs. As a Grammy nominee --

COOPER: I knew the fact that Blondie rapid back in the day.

GRIFFIN: Yes, of course. You must want Debbie Harry at your fancy New York parties.

COOPER: I don't go to fancy New York parties.

GRIFFIN: Don't you know Valentino's nickname? Isn't he called Tino or something? I'm trying to get free quotes. How much would you love another -- are you balling your hands into a fist as if to punch me?

COOPER: No. It's just cold.

GRIFFIN: Anderson Cooper just tried to punch me.

COOPER: No, that's not true.

GRIFFIN: That can't be right.

COOPER: You actually have tied these very tightly.

GRIFFIN: I know. Is the blood draining from your face as well as your arms?

COOPER: Yes, yes.

GRIFFIN: I know.

COOPER: Do we need to get another break in.

GRIFFIN: When we're back, Prince and the Revolution live on this stage.

COOPER: That's not true.

GRIFFIN: At least the revolution.

COOPER: We're going to take a short break. Final moments of 2013 as your handcuff party here continues. We'll be right back.


COOPER: Amazing celebrations in Rio de Janeiro which is three hours ahead.

GRIFFIN: Your second town really.

COOPER: I was just there on vacation. It's an amazing, amazing city. And they're celebrating, doing a great job --

GRIFFIN: I just want to say welcome back to New Year's Eve with Kathy Griffin. Now, what you should know if you haven't been watching I've taken control of the broadcast. Anderson is now handcuffed to me. He has no freedom of will anymore.

COOPER: Ridiculous.

GRIFFIN: Exactly.

And the keys are long gone. They are -- I think Miley's tongue actually reached through the screen, took them back into her mouth.

COOPER: I'm a big -- I like Miley Cyrus. I liked her album out this year.

GRIFFIN: I'm a fan. She actually just finished sing behind us if we can recap.

COOPER: She was very good.

GRIFFIN: I didn't see any twerking at all.

COOPER: No twerking. She sang "Wrecking Ball". She was -- I thought she did a great job.

GRIFFIN: I think she may have actually sung and everything. I'm going to go on record to say I think she sang.

COOPER: I think she's talented.

GRIFFIN: Not the way you're tearing up poor little Britney Spears.

COOPER: That's not true. You're making that up.

GRIFFIN: #andersonhatesbritney.

COOPER: No, there had been a video circulating.

GRIFFIN: Well, you admit to the audience --


GRIFFIN: I mean, the minute Miley started singing, you almost ripped yourself apart just to turn around and see Miley, see what she was wearing, her hair, et cetera.

COOPER: Well, yes. I enjoyed watching her.

GRIFFIN: A lot of glitter.

COOPER: A lot of glitter.


COOPER: So we're going to take one more quick break.

GRIFFIN: Yes. COOPER: And then we're going to come back and be live all the way through the New Year.

GRIFFIN: You can trust me. What am I going to do?

COOPER: We're going to take a short break. This is where things start to get bad.

We'll be right back.


COOPER: And there is the ball. It is what, about 10 minutes away.

GRIFFIN: I really like the modern music you guys have used by the way. Very cutting edge.

COOPER: Very cutting edge.

GRIFFIN: Well done.

COOPER: Kicking it mad men style.

GRIFFIN: Is that what Justice Sotomayor requested?

COOPER: Justice Sonia Sotomayor is going to be pressing the ball -- press the button that's going to drop the ball about a minute before New Year's.

GRIFFIN: You need to get her up her.

COOPER: All of that, of course --

GRIFFIN: Text her.

COOPER: I don't have her text.

GRIFFIN: I don't believe you.

COOPER: How would I have the Supreme Court justice's text?

GRIFFIN: You know these people. That would be what's called a get in the news industry.

COOPER: I've heard -- I've heard that's called a get.

GRIFFIN: Why don't you ask her New Year's resolutions?

COOPER: There's about 1 million people here in the crowd, they estimate. A lot of people have been here since early this morning.

Let's check in with Isha who's down in the crowd.

Isha, we're about nine minutes away from the start of the New Year. A lot of us -- obviously a lot of excitement.

ISHA SESAY, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Yes, Anderson and Kathy, no doubt about it.

I would say the atmosphere down here is electric. I think people are really getting excited at midnight. Show them out there how excited you are about midnight.


SESAY: You see, I'm not making this stuff up. They really are excited.

I want to introduce you to grace and T.J. from Connecticut. Try to explain to Anderson and Kathy and our viewers at home what the atmosphere is like down here.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's crazy. It's so energetic. It will be fun when the ball drops.

SESAY: You're excited about the confetti which falls at midnight. Help us understand why.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I don't know. It's just going to be so awesome falling from the sky. It's a ton of confetti. Like it weighs a ton. That's so much.

SESAY: What did your parents say when you said you were coming to Times Square to freeze your behind off at midnight?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: My mom said you're crazy. She would never do it. But I had to do it once. So it's a bucket list thing.

SESAY: Thank you. Have a good night. Happy New Year to you all.

I think my friend has summed it up. It's on many people's bucket list to be here in Times Square to seat New Year.

It's going to be the confetti. It's going to be the ball drop. And it's just a really, really great atmosphere. The party's happening down here, Anderson and Kathy. You should come on down.

GRIFFIN: You know what? I would like to but somebody has me trapped up here via handcuffs. It's not right but I can't move.

COOPER: Yes. If you've just joined us Kathy Griffin has handcuffed me for no reasons I'm not actually sure on --

GRIFFIN: It doesn't matter, you don't need to know.

COOPER: Nor am I sure how we're going to get out of this.

The ball is going to descend 70 feet in 60 seconds. It's 12 feet in diameter.


COOPER: Geodesic sphere. Did you know that?

GRIFFIN: No, I like to see you try to read when your lips are numb from being out here for three hours --

COOPER: It's lit by 32,256 LED lights. It weighs 11,875 pounds.

GRIFFIN: You need glasses but you're too vain to put them on.

COOPER: I know. I'm handcuffed to you. I can't even reach my glasses.

GRIFFIN: That's the point. I want to see you just riff.


Anyway, Melissa Etheridge will be performing "Imagine", we'll be bringing that to you live.

No more commercial breaks all the way through.

GRIFFIN: Justice Sotomayor is going to here. You should call her.

COOPER: She's going to be dropping the ball -- pressing the button that drops the ball.

GRIFFIN: We hope you can watch CNN's salute to the holy trinity.


GRIFFIN: We should name the show.

COOPER: We're looking for a new name for the show.

GRIFFIN: New Year comes down to pot smoking in Colorado.

COOPER: I don't -- those aren't names that --

GRIFFIN: I thought those were the official names. CNN is not rocking New Year's Eve.

COOPER: A what?

GRIFFIN: Not rocking New Year's Eve. CNN's light rock adult contemporary New Year's Eve, which is really the most accurate one.

COOPER: I kind of like the ring of that one.

GRIFFIN: I know you do. You love the old tiny music in and out of commercial.

COOPER: Yes. There's the ball. Look. Very exciting.

GRIFFIN: Do you want to ask the ball what the translations are? I know that's your burning question of the evening.

COOPER: Yes. Those were dumb questions.

GRIFFIN: No. Very, very important especially for Macklemore.

COOPER: You asked Macklemore that, I didn't.

GRIFFIN: Macklemore and I are friends. Shout out to the ASAP vixen mob. I'll explain it later.

What is the longest-running Broadway musical?

COOPER: I don't know. "Cats"?

GRIFFIN: No, "Phantom." You know what? You're a New Yorker. You're supposed to know these things.


GRIFFIN: The pope was big news. But I'm wondering, what is Pope Benedict doing right now? What is Pope Benedict doing right now?

COOPER: I don't know.

GRIFFIN: What do you think the former pope does?

COOPER: Probably reading. He's probably asleep right now because of the time change.

GRIFFIN: Just so you know, that's how you'd describe what you would be doing if you weren't here. So, you've likened yourself to the pope and I don't think that's right. I feel it's inappropriate.


GRIFFIN: Just as an Irish Catholic girl.

COOPER: OK. Is your mom up watching?

GRIFFIN: My mother is not. She's not I wouldn't use the word sober, but I'm saying trust me, watching this my mom has switched from the box wine to the whiskey real fast.

COOPER: By the way, I don't want to start the New Year handcuffed to you.

GRIFFIN: Sorry. I don't, either. Sometimes you don't think a decision through.

COOPER: Clearly.

GRIFFIN: When I came up with this four nights ago at 3:00 in the morning watching the best of "Nancy Grace" and Jane Velez-Mitchell came on I was so proud.

COOPER: You're a Jane Velez-Mitchell fan, aren't you?

GRIFFIN: I'm a human being. Of course, I'm a Jane Velez-Mitchell. She would be outraged. I am outraged that Kathy Lee Griffin has handcuffed that wonderful Anderson Cooper. She's always outraged. I love her.


GRIFFIN: Are you going to call for help from Dr. Drew? You were bragging about your friendship with Dr. Drew earlier.

COOPER: We are moments away from the drop of the ball 2014.

GRIFFIN: You think someone is going to bring you a soldering iron? Don't you think it's going to happen?

COOPER: Let's listen in Melissa Etheridge singing John Lennon's "Imagine."

MELISSA ETHERIDGE, SINGER: Make it the best one ever.


Happy New Year!


COOPER: We are about 50 seconds away from the start of the New Year. Justice Sonia Sotomayor has begun the ball drop.

GRIFFIN: You've met her, yes?

COOPER: I have. She's a very interesting, very smart lady. There is the ball drop.

GRIFFIN: From Brooklyn, a New Yorker.

COOPER: And we wish you a very happy and healthy 2014 as we countdown these last seconds of 2013.

GRIFFIN: I love when the crowd yells. A million people yelling.

COOPER: And let's count it down together everybody at home as well.


COOPER & GRIFFIN: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! Happy New Year!

GRIFFIN: Oh, precious. See?