There was a bit of good news for travellers recently when United Airlines, one of the world’s largest carriers, announced it would go fully flat-bed in business class. You could hear the cheer resounding from frequent flyers like me. This decision put paid, once and for all, to the rubbish that all beds on planes are equal.

A question: when is a bed not a bed? When it is angled lie-flat. My back hurts, my legs ache and my clothes are all rumpled - and all because the airline, which claimed to have a bed, actually offered up a torture machine which I prefer to call a slide.

You know the ones: when you put the “bed” into the full recline you end up on a steep angle. Over the next few hours you slowly, but inexorably, slide down until you are on the floor with your underpants under your armpits.

The trend of moving from seats to beds began in 1995 when British Airways became the first carrier to install fully-flat beds in business class. Its major British competitor, Virgin Atlantic, followed, and so began 'the battle of the beds.'

The problem became immediately clear: going fully flat meant taking up a lot of room on the plane (valuable real-estate in the language of the airlines). As a result, individual airlines have patented their own ways of doing this. BA has alternate rear-facing seats while Virgin adopted a fish-bone style, with seats off centre to the plane.

And then there were the airlines that decided not to bother spending the money and instead concocted a cheaper alternative: the dreaded angled lie-flat seat. Sure, the seat goes flat but it is not horizontal. You end up sleeping on a slope.

Airlines that should have known better (including Lufthansa and Swiss) went for this cheaper option. The airlines justify the angle by saying the plane flies at a slight incline so you are really flat after all. How many ways can I say that this is rubbish? Rot? Nonsense? Insulting to the intelligence?

Let’s be honest. These angled ‘beds’ are uncomfortable and almost never offer a good night’s sleep unless you are so tired you would sleep on the floor. If you doubt me, read the reviews on travellers’ websites. Almost no one likes angled lie-flat.

Thankfully, the days of the angled lie-flat are inevitably coming to an end. Last month’s decision by United Airlines to become the only US carrier to go “fully flat” almost certainly sounded the death knell for the horrible angled contraption in the years ahead.

If you are not sure what sort of bed you are about to suffer, let me give you some tips. First, ignore all the advertising the airlines put out on this. Do your own research and find out exactly what sort of bed is being offered. I always look at flatseats.com (run by the excellent Skytrax people, with detailed analysis of plane seats and reviews). It will tell you clearly what sort of seat it is and whether other passengers have found it comfortable.

If you do end up trapped in an angled lie-flat, fully recline the seat, THEN use the controls to “jog” or nudge the seat up again bit by bit till you get to the right position and the seat becomes more flat. That will give you support and protect your back and legs. Eventually you will get to a position you can live with for the flight. Just.

Swiss International has a whole set of instructions in the seat pocket dedicated to telling you how to jog their seat (perhaps the fact they have to put the instructions should have told them not to bother buying the seat in the first place…).

In the end, I would always go for a flat bed over angled lie-flat. It’s a simple choice. A good night’s sleep or a night spent sliding to the floor. Let’s get rid of the angled torture trap for business travellers once and for all.

After being stranded in Cleveland overnight because of storms in Chicago (see blog below), getting back to London has proved a real task. This is how things have gone so far:

OK, so I got to Cleveland airport to catch the 0619 flight, but found it delayed to 0725. No matter. I still have time to get to Washington for the Heathrow connection. Should have an hour or so to spare

UPDATE:

That hour evaporated. We still haven't boarded yet.

UPDATE:

Another hour gone! I am still in Cleveland.

UPDATE:

Pilot didn't put enough fuel on flight for long taxi at Cleveland. Returned to terminal for more.

No way I will get to Dulles International for my Heathrow flight. Having to go on red-eye tonight. I now have the delights and joys of eight hours in Dulles. Of all the airports, in all of the U.S. it is amongst the most miserable with poorest facilities while they rebuild it.

Today's challenge: Find something interesting to do in Dulles.

UPDATE:

Landed at Dulles, flight to London left an hour ago.

Now to see what misery they can inflict...

Tonight I am in Cleveland. I didn’t expect to be here another night. I had rather hoped to be crossing the Atlantic, but the storms over Chicago had other ideas.

My flight from CLE to ORD to connect onto London was badly delayed, so badly that I would not have made my connection and all other flights were full. So I have decided to cut my losses and stay here again tonight.

It is the oldest adage in the traveller’s book. When things start going wrong, do one of two things: get out of Dodge as soon as you can, preferably when you first notice things are heading the wrong way, or resign yourself to rebooking and just “go with the flow.” I didn’t realise the bad weather was going to screw things up quite as badly as it did, so I was left with only the second option.

Not to worry – they may call Cleveland the ‘Mistake on the Lake,’ but I rather like it and there are some excellent downtown restaurants to enjoy a decent steak.

This is a rather fitting end to this latest trip, which is why I haven’t been blogging much. Let me give you the routing so far: London to Los Angeles then onto New York and down to Atlanta (to visit the Mothership of CNN – you must see the CNN Cente if you are down that way…)

In Atlanta I decided it was 'Quest Time', so I abandoned the plane. Instead, I drove from Atlanta to Knoxville to Nashville to Memphis. I reminded myself why air travel is only one part of the business traveller’s life. It is so liberating being on the road. Even if the temperatures are burning hot in the South at the moment. (I stood at Graceland for the 30th anniversary of Elvis’s death in 106-degree temperatures.)

But it matters not - what can beat pulling over to a truck stop on the highway where they serve real peach cobbler, with ice cream of course! And smokers unite – yes, you can still smoke! (OK I guess the boss will take this bit out – not terribly politically correct these days! But I am giving up. I am.)

Oh yes, a quick tip – if you are down Nashville way, you MUST take time to visit the Loveless Café. Their fried chicken and biscuits are famous. And there should be a law against the sweet potatoes in Caramel. It is at least 15 years since I last ate there, and even though the place has been gussied up (there’s no longer a Loveless motel, just chintzy stores) the food was every bit as good as I had remembered. Don’t go for Sunday lunch though – they tell me it’s a two-hour wait at times.

The moral of this tale? When work takes me to places I want to enjoy I will abandon the plane, take the car and take some time. I swat away questions about where and I am and what I am doing with an airy “Oh, on Blackberry”…

Little do most realise I mean Blackberry pie. And now, a night in Cleveland. Steak? Rather.