Remembering Ana: an essay

By Andrea Norstad

Among those killed in the TWA crash was Ana Duarte-Coiner, a 12-year-old girl from Binghamton, New York, who was traveling to Paris with her mother, Constance. Through her home computer, Ana had made friends of all ages, all over the world, including Andrea Norstad, 16, of Chicago, who never had a chance to meet Ana.

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When Ana and I first started talking, it was about music. I had obscure, independent-label music by women with fiddles singing about banshees and knives, and she wanted it.

We had known of each other before that, reading and following-up to the other's posts on the newsgroup we'd both stumbled into by accident.

We were acquaintances there, but when we began e-mailing, we entered a whirlwind friendship, firing off multiple e-mails daily. We talked about everything, from boys' unfortunate lack of chivalry to CK1 perfume to gray, poetic April days and the wonders of dark red velvet. We eventually progressed to phone calls and I got to make fun of her loud, shrill and embarrassingly girlish laugh. We promised to meet one day and blaze trails around Chicago, not stopping until our feet were sore and our voices worn out by endless chatter. She was a girl who knew how to get what she wanted. She made people listen.

Ana's friends on the Net were particularly protective of her. Some of us adopted her as a little sister, and even though we pretended to be condescending and superior at times, it was Ana who always knew the right thing to say to untie the knots of any situation.

After the crash, Ryan Freebern, 17, created a memorial web site for Ana. The site has drawn Ana's friends and strangers, rescue workers, crash investigators and relatives of other crash victims. Ana's site is one of dozens created for the passengers and crew of TWA Flight 800. Other TWA memorial sites

When we found out that she had died, we were in shock. How could such a fiery voice, the lifeblood of our group, be taken away from us? We dealt with it as any group of friends struck by a tragedy deals. We talked, we cracked jokes, we shared stories and sorrow and tried to make up for it and justify it as best we could.

Now, a year after her death, her words are still being remembered by those who loved her. Ryan's memorial Web page played an important part. It didn't mean as much to close friends of Ana's as it did to people stumbling upon it, looking for stories about real people on the flight. Those who didn't know Ana got to experience a bit of her life, and to see how much her friends cared about her. The emotional responses I've received from people who have visited the page and experienced the beauty of my friend replaced some of the pain with gladness.

It's important, in my mind, to keep the memory and spirit of a person who has died alive by telling stories about their life. I have had the chance to tell many people about Ana.

I've made them happy to have been given a piece of her instead of depressed by the loss. Last fall, while seeing Tori Amos (a favorite musician of mine and Ana's) live in concert, I was able to tell her about Ana.

I told her a story about Ana's talent at singing and playing the piano, and the songs that she played that I never got to hear. After we'd both watched a concert on TV, Ana called me from New York to say that she'd played one of the songs Tori Amos had covered, and stated, quite matter-of-factly, that Tori had gotten the chords wrong. I laughed, because this girl had spunk. I told her that she could tell Tori about the wrong notes, I would stay out of it.

A month later, Ana lost the chance to play her songs for us. But that doesn't mean that they couldn't still be heard.

After hearing the story, Tori Amos played a song for Ana and talked about her all over the country, including Binghamton, the town where Ana and her mother, Constance, had lived. The tragedy of Ana's death was transformed into the gift of a beautiful song that was given to thousands of people. Ana's voice still sings in their hearts. Even after losing Ana, it's a beautiful thing to remember that joy can be found by celebrating her life.

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