"I cleared out half of my chapel. They brought in all their bands and friends, and they played music," he said, recalling how the musician's friends arranged the deceased's alto, tenor and soprano saxophones on the wall around a photograph of the man. "The priest came in and gave a small eulogy, and they went out of the funeral home playing 'When the Saints Go Marching In.' "
Next, the mourners went to a club in downtown Detroit to host a "jazz breakout," Kemp said. The entire day was "a wonderful tribute" to a man who had devoted his life to music.
As a funeral director, Kemp believes, his job is to turn mourners' wishes into reality. In many cases, today's reality is cremation.
Liberated from tradition, memorial services have become more expressive and more unique.
"It is real important for us as funeral directors to adapt to people's wishes," said Kemp, who is also a spokesman for the association. As he sees it, a good memorial service can create memories while reviving faded ones.
Flames and ash
Cremation's growing popularity bodes ill for funeral homes. In the United States, the number of funeral homes has fallen nearly 10% over a decade, from 21,495 in 2005 to 19,391 in 2015, according to the National Funeral Directors Association report.
Jeff Jorgenson, founder of Elemental Cremation & Burial
, a green funeral home in Seattle, said that when he got into the industry 11 years ago, "it was one of those things that we talked about as the 'cremation problem.' "
"There isn't as much money in it, let's face it," Jorgenson said, so funeral directors tried their best to resuscitate people's interest in burials.
It wasn't happening, though. The reasons people choose cremation are topped by saving money, with convenience coming in a distant second, according to the new report.
"Whether we as an industry want to recognize that or embrace it or dance with it, that's up to the individual funeral director," Jorgenson said. "Things are changing."
Unprepared though the industry may have been, efforts have been made. Nearly 30% of funeral homes in the United States operate their own crematories, and another 9.4% intend to open a crematory within the next five years, according to the report.
Beyond the choices of "disposition" -- how a body is dealt with after death -- there are also changes in what services and experiences people want, Jorgenson said. "Things like a memorial service, a visitation or a viewing -- these are things that we're trying to figure out how to tie into these minimal services. And that's where the industry really struggles."
With cremation, more people have begun hosting memorial services in their backyards and homes, Kemp said: "I've had funeral services in parks, in bars, in sporting arenas."
Among the 53.6% of consumers who would choose cremation for themselves, the number who want a complete funeral with visitation has been declining over the past three years: from 26.6% in 2015 to 14.1% in 2017, according to the National Funeral Directors Association report.
"Whatever you want to do, we'll do it, as long as it's within the confines of the law," Jorgenson said.
His Seattle-based company is and has been ahead of the curve for some time.
Kemp said "the West Coast and some of the Northwest part of the US have always done more cremations than burials. And now it's becoming more popular all over the US."
Cremation rates vary across the country, peaking in Washington state, where 76.4% of the dead were cremated during 2015, according to the report. Nevada followed with 75.6%, Oregon at 74.3%, Hawaii at 72.7% and Maine at 72.4%.
Jorgenson said there are a few reasons why Washington, Nevada and Hawaii have high cremation rates, such as lack of religion, high education rates and transient populations.
Educated people tend to opt for cremation, he said, and when it comes to transients, "those that die there don't want to be buried there." Additionally, some cultures "don't have a religious purpose for a big ceremony." In the end, cremation is simply a "practical way to handle your body," he said.
"You take out the time constraints; you take out the cost; you take out all the song and dance -- I mean, to do a burial, you're looking at one or two days just in the arrangement process," Jorgenson said.
The lowest rates for cremations are found in Mississippi, at 20.9%, trailed by Alabama at 25.7%, Kentucky at 27.3%, Louisiana at 29.7% and Tennessee at 31.3%.
Kemp explains that "the South and Southeast still lag behind because they're a little more traditional, and the gravesites are probably a little bit less expensive than what you would see in some other geographical areas."
High land costs combined with decreasing burial space mean cremation rates often top 70% in dense urban areas worldwide, according to the report.
And though religion has played a role in Southern tastes in the past, it may have less impact going forward.
Does faith matter?
Cremation is the prevailing practice in places where the custom is ancient and most of the population adheres to Hinduism, Sikhism, Buddhism or Jainism. Many Americans of Japanese descent, for example, routinely opt for cremation just as they might in Japan, where cremation is nearly universal.
Other nations with high cremation rates -- 80% or higher -- include Taiwan, Hong Kong, Switzerland, Sweden, South Korea, the Czech Republic and Thailand.
Although nonreligious Americans are more likely than others to consider cremation, the proportion of Americans who feel that religion is an important part of a funeral has decreased from just under half in 2012 to slightly less than 40% in 2016, according to the report.
While more than three-quarters of Americans identify themselves as faithful to one religion or another, fewer than 40% of Americans feel religion is an important part of a funeral.
The breakdown of religion in the United States includes 22.8% who are unaffiliated, describing themselves as atheists, agnostics or "nothing in particular," according to a Pew Research Center study
. Following non-Christian faiths are 5.9% of Americans, who include Jews, Muslims, Buddhists and Hindus. The largest group is Christian: 70.6% of Americans. Of these, nearly 21% are Catholics, their large number influencing the shift toward cremation.
The reason? In 1963, after centuries of insisting on full-body burials, the Vatican lifted the ban on cremation.
"People still ask us if it is OK to be cremated," said Mary Ellen Gerrity, director of the Office of Cemeteries for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Metuchen
, New Jersey. Apparently, it takes time to get used to a new idea. "We have a crematory on the property," she said.
Scattering ashes (referred to as 'cremated remains' by the church) is not permitted under Catholic rules.
Gerrity said, leaving the "cremated remains on the mantel at home, that's not a proper burial." In her diocese, and many others, people can place the cremated remains in a niche in the mausoleum.
Along with cost, geography and religion, Jorgenson said, another important element is tradition.
The big three options
"Everyone in my family has been cremated," Jorgenson said. "And I'm n