How to throw one helluva (proper) Royal Wedding party

Updated 1638 GMT (0038 HKT) May 16, 2018

(CNN)It's okay to be excited about the royal wedding. Nobody would judge you if you held a little fete yourself, because after all -- outside of the 500 Disney movies you've watched, how often do royal weddings happen?

Royal wedding details

When: Saturday, May 19, 12 p.m. London time (7 a.m. ET)

Where: St. George's Chapel at Windsor Castle

For a truly memorable bash, it's best to go beyond the basics like drinking tea, wearing silly hats and embarrassing yourself with a poorly conceived British accent. To take your wedding watch party to the next level, we suggest these festive activities.
We can assure you, no one will be bored.

Decorate a lemon cake

Guests should get down on their knees and thank the newest royal couple, because they have changed up the usual wedding cake game for the better. Traditionally, the royal wedding cake is fruitcake. Yes, under all of those layers of fondant and intricate icing art, there's just a big ol' slab of knobby fruit cement. However, since this wedding is all about intercontinental compromise, Harry and Meghan are opting for a lemon and elderberry cake instead. Bless.
Directions: Acquire a lemon cake, or a batch of lemon cookies. Optional: Pick up some blackberries too, which are basically American elderberries. Let your guests go to town with white icing, taking care to mimic the traditional British Lambeth style of decoration that includes finely-piped lace and flowers. Eat the ugliest ones first.

Guess the expensive wine

Harry and Meghan's absolute mastery of Stuff People Actually Want to Eat and Drink at Weddings continues with their wine choice. The couple has reportedly selected a sparkling wine from Chapel Down winery in Kent, England, where the bottles run from $35 to $42. It's no Korbel, but 40 bucks is couch cushion change when you're talking about a whole royal family.
Directions: Get three bottles of cheap wine and one bottle of not-cheap wine. Set up a blind taste test by pouring a tiny bit into some numbered plastic glasses. Don't go overboard -- getting hammered in the middle of the day is extremely un-royal. Have each guest take a whiff and a sip. Is that a hint of toast hiding under the aromas of sparkling nectarine? Maybe! This wine cost $5. Everyone wins.

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