Tom Hanks set out to prove he’s got a naughty streak on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”
Saying he’s just too “wonderful and perfect in every way,” Kimmel dared the Oscar-winner to leave the studio and go steal a cardboard standee of himself at a tourist gift shop next door.
“In ‘The Bachelor’ vernacular, I think I’m pretty awesome,” Hanks said, accepting the dare. “I fear nothing.”
“Watch this,” said Hanks, grabbing a mic and heading outside.
Hanks greeted people along the way, including a sausage vendor he placed an order with to pick up on his way back.
At the standees in the back of the shop, Hanks indulged Kimmel in one of his longest-running bits, and defaced a Damon standee with a black tooth and black eye. He topped that off by scribbling “I’m a dope” on Damon’s cardboard forehead.
Hanks then stole a few fun-sized Oscars on the way out, yelling to cashiers, “I’m Tom Hanks and I’m stealing this standee.”
Kimmel’s security guard Guillermo Rodriguez walked him back over, slipping the sausage lady money Hanks had given him after Kimmel dared Hanks to steal a sausage.
Earlier in the interview, Hanks whipped out the top secret “Toy Story 4” talking points memo from the Disney Corporate Vertical Integration Marketing Division, and rattled off PR plans he wasn’t supposed to reveal.