(CNN)The usual New Year's resolutions -- exercise more, spend less time doomscrolling on social media and more time reading, go to bed earlier to get my beauty rest -- feel like a giant pile of irrelevance after this year of complete and utter feces show.
Wearing clothes, talking to people and other very simple 2021 goals
It's also helpful, though, to look ahead, to hope and dream that 2021 might return us to some semblance of normalcy.
Thinking and planning ahead, including focusing on what goals I'd like to achieve for 2021 sure beats staring at the peeling paint on the wall ... and wondering if I will ever get to sip a cocktail at a restaurant with a friend like a human being in and of the world again. I'll even take a watered-down cocktail at a mediocre restaurant with a friend who talks too much. I'll tip even more than usual.
Landing that big book deal or finally fitting into my high school jeans feels like biting off more than I can chew after this year that has depleted and devastated our planet. I have decided to instead focus on those simple goals that will reestablish myself as a normal person in a more normal world. Looking back on 2020, I realize there is a lot I have lost and plain forgotten how to do in this year of great upheaval.
In preparation for when the world right-sizes, my first goal will be to learn how to get dressed again. That means practicing how to put on a bra (under my shirt). It also means I have to wear both a bra and underwear. It may require a pep talk, but I should also practice wearing socks to go out with those other undergarments.
An even harder sell, which is precisely why it makes my objectives list for 2021, is trading in elastic waisted pants (namely, pajamas) for actual real pants that have buttons and zippers. I will block roughly 45 minutes on my calendar each week in the days preceding this transition to practice such fine motor skills as looping a button through a hole. All those quarantine baking sessions may yield mixed results on said defined-width pants.
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Another major goal will be learning how to talk to people again -- by which I mean actual human beings in the flesh, like the woman in front of me in line at the supermarket. If there is ever a day when we aren't dressed in hazmat suits, I will practice my friendly face and how best to say, "Please, go ahead of me. You have just canned tuna and margarita mix while I have 126 items to feed my bottomless-bellied child."