10 tips on how to find your 'sweet spot' for self-care

(CNN)One of the top trends this year is towards self-care, loosely defined as focusing on your own health and wellness in a calming, holistic and preventive way.

But just what does that mean? If you look at self-care products to buy this holiday season, you'll find an emphasis on warm baths with soothing bath salts, plushy towels and silky lotions. Don't forget self-care makeup, nail, massage and detox sets.
Calming apps and food and fitness training gadgets are everywhere. Self-care books, mindfulness journals and affirmation card decks, anyone? One retailer even puts "poop chairs" under the "self-care" category (I suppose I can see that.)
    Obviously, those are all great tools to use to arrive at your self-care goals -- but have you done the work to know what you need to focus on to truly be well?
      To find out how to best focus our individual efforts to help ourselves, CNN reached out to stress management expert Dr. Cynthia Ackrill, an editor for Contentment magazine, produced by the American Institute of Stress.
      This conversation has been lightly edited for clarity.
      CNN: We hear a lot about how good self-care is for us, but I'm not sure many of us know how to go about doing it in the best way.
      Ackrill: Oh my gosh, as important as self-care is, I don't want it to feel like yet another "should" in your life, or something else you have to "get right!" It's really just a process of star